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Im 27, shes 19, would it be inappropriate to date her ?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2006) 10 Answers - (Newest, 14 November 2006)
A male , *ichael320 writes:

Hi, um, first time here.

I'm 27 and I've fallen for my 19 year old friend. She's wonderful and I think the feelings are reciprocated. But I've not made a move because I'm worried she'll think I'm too old.

I've known her since she was 16 and I was 24. Nothing ever went on between us except a good friendship. I never saw her as anything more than a great girl pal.

Now though things are different. She makes me feel incredible. And at the same time, completely paedophilic. I try to rationalise it and say when she's 20 I'll only be 28, but I still feel like one of those creepy old men who preys on young girls.

Any help? Am I being inappropriate? If you guys think I'll only hurt her or I'm too old or it would cause her any troubles, I won't bother. I just want her to be happy and comfortable.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2006):

I suppose that depends on what country you live in. In Australia it depends on what state you are in. In Victoria the legal age of consent is 16 in NSW its 17 but being 27 you are not that much older than her. I take it you are American by your question. The question you should be asking is "do i love her?" "is having sex with her legal?"

but if you love her and she is not old enough to have sex and she loves you to, you can still date her but keep it pg13. If she is old enough for sex then what other people think does not matter

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A female reader, AgonyAuntLisa +, writes (21 September 2006):

AgonyAuntLisa agony auntWell I think 8 years is ok if u realli like/love this girl give it a go! but dont rush into anything!my brother is 10 years old than his wife and there sooo in love!

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A male reader, Michael320 +, writes (18 September 2006):

Michael320 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi guys!

Just wanted to let you all know that the date went great. We had a good time, stayed out from 8:00 until almost 2:00!

Things are going really well. So far neither of us has mentioned the age gap, and neither has anyone we know. Except for one of my friends who asked "Oh, is she that college chick?" but that's about it.

Thanks for all the help!

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2006):

bonym agony aunt*feel* sorry but these typos are getting beyond a joke!! Why cant I spell, I mean really!!!

sorry, not feek but feel. Goodness me!!!!!

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A male reader, Michael320 +, writes (14 September 2006):

Michael320 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi guys!

Just thought I'd give an update. Mustered up the courage to ask her out today. She was a bit surprised but didn't mention anything about the gap. We're going out for a bite to eat on Saturday night :)

I'm nervous. I feel like I did back when I was 13 and going out on my first date.

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A male reader, james1980 +, writes (14 September 2006):

Get in there son, no worries, you obviously care about her loads so I'm sure you will make it work!!

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A female reader, bonym United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2006):

bonym agony auntYou are not a peadophile, and you certainly should not feek that way if she was 12 and you were your age then there would be a definate problem, she is an adult, you are an adult, so please stop worring. I cant see a problem here friend, dont worry. Just treat he good, care or her, be a gent, be civil etc, forget the age, if your intentions are good, dont worry. Take care. xXx

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A female reader, SuperStarfish +, writes (14 September 2006):

SuperStarfish agony auntHi Michael, u aren't too old for her at all. My bf is 13yrs my senior and im the same age as ur friend! People may think things aren't right as ur 'too old' for her, and she's 'too young' but as long as u 2 are happy and think otherwise u'll have a strong and positive relationship. But if u both care for each other, age is just a number. U r both mature people and ur consideration shows that u do really care for her so give it a go!

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A female reader, camille United Kingdom +, writes (14 September 2006):

camille agony auntIf you think she feels the same where's the harm? Tread carefully in case you're misreading the signals. You've been friends for a few years so you don't want to ruin that. You're both adults so go for it!

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A male reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):

Herr Professor agony auntMichael, no...you are not too old for her. You are both legally consenting adults. As for the age difference, I don't see 8 years as that much really. If she digs you and you dig her, then you shouldn't worry. Other people might see it as wrong, but that's their problem.

BTW, I think the fact that you care so much about her and that you worry about the appropriateness of a potential relationship speaks volumes about you. You are a man of great character, and you deserve someone who makes you feel incredible.

Good luck to you both!

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