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female
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*heskycastle
writes: How long does one need to recover from a heart-break relationship? Will it be different between guys and girls?My situations is this. My boyfriend was divorced 1 yr and 3 months before we met. We've been together for 1 year as of now. He was married with his ex-wife for 3 years. They got married after their first born kid was born (when he was 19). I know he's in love with me right now, but it just shocks me to believe he is no longer in love with his ex-wife. (as a side note: she ran off with another guy) I know some girlfriends of mine take a long time to cope with the heart-break before even starting to look again. Am I being silly to question about my boyfriend?
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (14 September 2006):
 Why are you worried about it ? Concentrate on you two not him and the ex... We all deal with things totally different! If someone cheats on us we are more likely to have anger more than love for them. So your saying that you think it is odd for him not to still love her after nearly 2 and a half years!?? Well he's gotten over her, he didnt date straight away, gave himself time to heal and move on. We all move on at different stages and if badly hurt can actually fall out of love sooner. He may care for her as the mother of his child, but thats probably the extent of it... Why do you want him to have feelings for his ex wife ? Surely you shold be worried if he did have feelings for her ? Im really not sure why you are worried about this. He loves you, you are together, hes moved on, why are you clinging to his past relationship like that ?
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male
reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):
 You're questioning your boyfriend about why he's NOT in love with his ex-wife? Would you be cool with it if he WERE? Listen, Sweetie, my grandmother was fond of an old saying: "Don't borrow trouble."
If my wife ran off with another guy, yes, I think I could lose that lovin' feeling REALLY fast.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2006): i am divorced and hate my ex. i loved him with everything i had at one point but he kept taking and taking untill i had nothing left to give. your ex i feel sorry for and i totally understand him because i feel the same. do not make to much of it just be glad that there is no threat that him and her will get back together.
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male
reader, Toohonesty +, writes (13 September 2006):
As a guy i think i know the answer, he's lying, no offence love but how would you react if he said he was still in love with his ex partner, some how i think you would react badly. Also you can never recover from being in love because guess what you were in love and that lasts forever you just move on and try and forget about it.
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (13 September 2006):
 I would say so. Like you said it takes people different amounts of time to get over their pain and in this case she ran off with another man so it was probably his anger that drove him there so fast. There is a thin line between love and hate and when she left she crossed it. Being in love and loving someon is totally different. He more than likely just lost that feeling for her but better for you that he did. How can you legitimately believe he is in love with you and have these feelings? You can't be in love with two people, so if he is in love with you he's obviously not in love with her. So, yes I think you are being silly.
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female
reader, confussed jane +, writes (13 September 2006):
hun i dont think your question is stupid.
i no how you feel i am in sorta same place like you i with a guy older than me 14 years he is going through devorce and had got 3 kidz 2 ex wife sorta and 2 with his ex. we been together along time i no he loves me and wants be wa me forever but like you i think he still loves his ex wife.
personally you dont want hear this but i think does take a year or so to get over someone you loved so i dont think he is over her yet maybe i am ran its what i think.hun you 2 can get through it if you both love each other anouth you can make it work no matter what.
i think you should sit him down have a talk with him tell him how you feel try be there for him and dont go mentil with what he says end of day as long he loves you and wants be with you thats all matters try let past be the past.
i hope u all the best good luck xxxxx
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