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female
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anonymous
writes: Should I hold out for a man who feels I am the most beautiful woman in the world to him? My bf and me have been together 6 years. My best friend has also been with her bf 4 years. he is always telling her she is the most beautiful woman in the world to him. I really believe he means it, its clear he loves her so much. I have also heard other men say that they think their wives are the most beautiful women in the world to them. Here is my question, my bf says Im attractive to him if I ask him and he says he loves me which I believe but when I asked him if he thought i was the most beautiful woman in the world to him he said their will always be more beautiful women to him but he loves me. At least he's honest. I know I shouldnt compare him to other men who really do believe their gfs are the most beautiful but i cant help feeling I want a man who feels this way about me instead of seeing me as attractive but not the most beautiful to him. Should I wait and look for a man who feels this way about me or just accept that my bf finds other women more beautiful than me. We have one daughter together and in other ways he is good to me but i cant help wanting more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): I have never said anything to a lover that I don't mean, unless she knows it's purely to cheer her up from some thing, but that's hard to explain.
Eg: We would be cuddling together and she asks, "Do you think I am pretty?" And I'll reply, "I think you're beautiful, and over the years, I'm sure we'll both grow wrinkly - me more wrinkly than you for sure!"
If they ever ask, "Do you think I am the most beautiful woman in the world" - my answer would be, "There is no absolute beauty. With all your physical and mental 'flaws', you are someone I adore and love very much. I do not believe in the most beautiful person or thing in the world. If my feelings and my actions for you aren't enough, then most likely, you're seeking for something else that isn't me."
Yeah, something like that - but in Cantonese. [wink]
Ms. Anon, how do you know he's the most handsome guy in the world if you haven't met everyone in the world? I work in the design industry and have come across some of the most gorgeous women in fashion and just general modelling - physically/asthetically very appealing. To say my gf is THE most beautiful in the world would be a mindframe, and not the truth.
If u want a guy to sugar coat all his words, then go find someone who will, but will u be missing out on all the other good qualities by leaving him for someone who knows how to sweet talk?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): Hi Camille, Thanks for your response but please dont get the wrong idea. I do feel like I am an attractive woman and other people men and women do tell me this. Its just that I feel true love is when you would find your partner to be the most beautiful person in the world regardless of how they look..if you know what I mean.
I do pamper myself cause I believe its really important to give yourself time and treat yourself in special ways especially for us moms.
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (14 September 2006):
 I'm afraid that people are different and despite his honesty, he loves you. I have to say that if he'd lied you'd be none the wiser but as they say, truth hurts. I guess it comes back to the comparing. Your husband isn't your friend's husband and your relationship is not theirs, but it's the fact you're looking at others to gauge what you have. You asked him expecting to hear the same? This means something is missing for you. The question you asked implies you aren't happy and maybe there's a more deep rooted problem? If you want a man who gives you what you want, there's no guarantee you'd find him, especially if you're looking. Anyway, what I think you should do, is work on your self confidence, treat yourself to a spa day, pamper yourself have a makeover and know that you're beautiful. Maybe your husband is rare in that he knows that beauty is skin deep. If you're down about this chances are you're not projecting a positive image of yourself, so work on that and hopefully your husband will see that through your new found confidence and self esteem that you are the most beautiful. If he doesn't, at least you will! And your daughter will too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2006): Prof, yes I can honestly say he is the most handsome man in the world to me, more so than any famous actor or male model, in my eyes they cant even compete with him
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A
male
reader, Herr Professor +, writes (14 September 2006):
 Well, first ask yourself if he's the most handsome man in the world to you?
I'm not going to tell you should or shouldn't stay with him. No one should tell you that. You said that he's honest, finds you attractive, and is good to you, but you want more. What you have to determine is what you really want in a person and what you are willing to live with in a partner.
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