I'm getting mixed signals from my boyfriend and I want to know where this relationship is going
Q. I need some advice please. I have been seeing this man for about 2 mths. He just took me on a vacation over valentines holiday and paid for everything. He says we are friends getting to know each other. He also has had a talk with me 2 times about ...
A. 23 February 2009: Why don't you just ask him! He may be just as unsure about you as you are about him!
Do you call him at all? Give it a try. Call him from time to time.
You seem to expect him to do all the running.... (read in full...)
I am irritated by his changes of attitude and faults but he doesn't appreciate that I tolerate all these!
Q. hi i am in my fourties and have been with my partner for 3 going on 4 yrs,i love him to bits but i also am more irritated about his change in attitude since we met,i never saw it at the start,the trouble is i love him for all his faults and ...
A. 23 February 2009: Both of you have to realise that no one's perfect. We all have our ways and habits.
Do you really love him or are you scared to be without him? Love often becomes an obsession or addiction, and we just can't see ourselves without the other pers... (read in full...)
How do I rekindle my burning desire for success?
Q. How do you rekindle your passion for success. I remember being quite gritty guy when I was in teens. I have been fairly a good student ...I should say better than 80% of my colleagues. I loved doing what I wanted and have done this in past or I ...
A. 8 February 2009: I think you're at a stage of your life where your priorities are changeing.
Success isn't only about work. It's about relationships and love and having a family.
You seem to be rather low in self esteem which is probably preventing you from mee... (read in full...)
Do men in theirs forties stay over night at their mum's place on weekend?
Q. Do men in theirs forties stay over night at their mums place on weekend? i am going out with 46yr old man for a few weeks now he always seems to be busy on a saturday when i questioned him about it he said his normally busy (shopping, seein...
A. 8 February 2009: There's something strange going on here.
Perhaps he has kids or a family he hasn't told you about.
(Telling him you'd like to accompany him one saturday, may be jumping the gun. You're probably not yet be ready to meet his mum).
He may be telli... (read in full...)
All I want to do is to hide in my bed all day
Q. Lately I have begun to feel very low and isolated. Im usually a chatty, active 25 year old but over the last few weeks I have had such a horrible feeling inside me it wont go away. I feel cut off from my friends and sad that I havnt got anything ...
A. 8 February 2009: You're really in a rut and depressed, to say the least.
Try making an effort not to lie in bed when you're at home.
Go jogging or even for walks in the park. Try and appreciate the nature surrounding you.
Don't give up your friends. Call them, e... (read in full...)
Is his behavior foretelling that he's just after the chase??
Q. I met this guy online, he contacted ME, we emailed back and forth a few times he gave me his phone number and msn address pretty fast, i thanked him but did not use them right away. As soon as i added him to my msn he stopped emailing me online, he ...
A. 5 February 2009: On-line dating can be dicey. You don't really know anything about him.
If he doesn't contact you, forget about him. There are plenty more fish in the sea.
In future, get to know the guy before reading too much into his behaviour.... (read in full...)
I'm shy and uncomfortable about sex
Q. Dear Cupid... Im gonna be straight forward... Im a VERY SHY woman in bed. Ive been with my husband for 7 years now (6 of them we were not married!) and I feel like Im just too shy for him... I have fantasies of being more wild but Im not the type...
A. 5 February 2009: You don't say how your husband feels.
Does HE want you to be more wild in bed? He may be completely satisfied with you as you are!
If it bothers you, discuss it with him. Try and open up.
Read books or look up new things to do on the internet. tr... (read in full...)
Extremely frustrated by the lack of sex in my 6 year relationship, help!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 24 year old male and my partner is a 21 year old female. Recently ive been extremely frustrated by the lack of sex in my 6 year relationship. I have a very healthy desire for sex, so much so I would have it everyday if ...
A. 5 February 2009: There is no average amount of sex a couple should enjoy. Each couple is different. But when one party is not satisfied, there is a problem.
Discuss it with her. Perhaps something's bothering her. You don't say whether her lack of sex-drive has exis... (read in full...)
Would I be a fool to try again with someone who treated me so badly?
Q. My husband I have been separated five months. Our marriage was rocky and eventually just fell apart because he was having a midlife crisis and couldn't decide what he wanted...so I left. He has been pleading with me to reconcile with him almost a...
A. 4 February 2009: By "mid-life crises" I gather you mean he cheated on you.
Only YOU can know if you should give him another chance. If there are children involved I'd advise you to give it another go. If not, and you're over him, get on with your life.
Don't... (read in full...)
I just feel like my husband just harasses me for sex.
Q. Hi! Me and my husband recently got married last year, and sometimes I just really don't want him touching me. Sometimes I feel like he is harassing me for sex. If I say no I don't want to have sex, I have to have a big long, keep you up all nite ...
A. 4 February 2009: One thing at a time! You knew when you married him that he couldn't father kids BUT you married him anyway. You seem to be holding this against him.
Psychologically, this could be your sub-concious reason for not wanting sex. Anger won't solve anyt... (read in full...)
I said yes to my ex's request to meet!
Q. Hi, thanks in advance for reading and answering my ?. The details are I broke up with my ex 3 yrs ago in May. He contacted me online and asked me to meet him next week to catch up. This is the first time we have had contact since end of 2006. At ...
A. 4 February 2009: It's entirely up to you but I don't see any harm in meeting for a cup of coffee and discussing old times.
You've got nothing to lose, and who knows, you might enjoy it.
He's not asking for sex; just an opportunity to catch up.
I'd just advise ... (read in full...)
He loves me? He loves me not?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over four months now. Last night my boyfriend and I were laying in bed and I've been wanting to tell him I love him... I finally got up enough courage to do that. I said it and I got a lot of sweet kisses ...
A. 4 February 2009: Just relax.
Telling him you love him if you really do is fine. Men have difficulty expressing their feelings and just because you've told him, doesn't mean he has to tell you too.
In the mean time just show him how much you care for him and be s... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any ideas on how I can break up with him once and for all?
Q. If anyone out there can help me, I would be so very grateful... I have a lying, cheating, stingy, emotionally and slightly physically abusive boyfriend. I know I should break up with him. I know he is bad for me. I have caught him on Adul...
A. 3 February 2009: Relationships can and do become addictive.
Physical and emotional violence is intolerable under any circumstances.
It's almost impossible to overcome an addiction alone. You need Counselling to help you get out of this relationship before i... (read in full...)
Is it worth the risk to fall in love again?
Q. I have a real dilemma on my hands. I reconnected with someone I knew in high school. Didn't date him then, but I ran into him recently at an event. We talked and I was very attracted to him. So, I emailed him and we've been talking over the ...
A. 3 February 2009: Many people reach the stage in their marriage, where the excitement is missing.
You're missing romance and "butterflies" in your stomach.
Only YOU can decide what you should do. BUT are you prepared to give up your husband of 23 years for an emoti... (read in full...)
My brother's GF will not let him go anywhere without her.
Q. My brother's gf will not let him go anywhere without her. When he is not with her he has to be on msn with her. She has put 18 pictures of the two of them in his room. She writes him letters that say she cant live without him and that he is the ...
A. 2 February 2009: Your brother's girlfriend definately seems obsessed with him, but it's absolutely none of your business!
It's between the two of them, and he seems quite happy, so just keep your nose out of their relationship.
He won't thank you for butting ... (read in full...)
I have Bacterial Vaginosis or Candida and it's really effecting my life
Q. I also have a boyfriend and I'm trying everything I can to hide it from him because I'm too embarassed to tell him... I have been tested for every STD you can think of because I was wondering why I had this (swabs and blood tests)... I believe I ...
A. 2 February 2009: You should see a doctor as soon as possible. How can you possibly know what you've got if you havn't been diagnosed?
Why were you not treated for BV in the past?
Bacterial vaginosis or candida is very common and easily treated with anti-bio... (read in full...)
Breaking up and getting back together? Can it work?
Q. Just a quick question is it possible for a couple to get back together after a break or a break up and have a succesfull relationship? My boyfriend of 9 months who asked me to move in (totally his idea) has asked for some space apart saying he still ...
A. 2 February 2009: I've been in a similar situation and in the end things did work out.
I'd been seeing this guy for two years when he suddenly dropped the bombshell that he needed "space". I was sure it was the end of the relationship.
I really missed him, and 6 mo... (read in full...)
DearCupid had over one million people visit the site in January!
Q. I have just peeped at our visitor figures for January 2009, the month just gone, and I'm excited to see that DearCupid passed 1,000,000 (yes, one MILLION!) unique visitors/month for the first time. According to Google Analytics we had 1,040,812 ...
A. 2 February 2009: Hi Andrew,
Congratulations on passing the million mark.
Your site is informative and offers good advice.
Keep it up. ... (read in full...)
Why has my girlfriend gone off sex?
Q. I have been with my current girlfriend for about 18 months now. I am at uni, a mature student, she has a young 18 year old daughter with a young baby son of 8 months who lives away from her mother. My girlfriend doesn't seem interested in sex any ...
A. 1 February 2009: You seem to have a communication problem.
Sex once a month is almost nothing at all, especially as you're not satisfied.
Sex is an important aspect of a relationship. Discuss it with her. If there is a problem, you should know what it is. ("Her da... (read in full...)
Any advice on how to fall pregnant after a miscarriage?
Q. I would like to have another baby I had a miscarriage 9 months ago and have been trying ever since then. Any advice I'd like to get them....
A. 1 February 2009: Sorry to hear of your miscarriage. If you're having problems falling pregnant again, follow these tips:
1. If you or your partner smoke, give it up.
2. Exercise regularly.
3. Relax. Stress could be a factor in not being able to fall pregnant.
4... (read in full...)
Girlfriend gone wild and unreasonable
Q. My girlfriend (20 years younger) and I had a drag out name calling fight today. This has been building up for several days and exploded today. Her problem is she thinks every time she wants something from the store (usually food) or go on a drive...
A. 1 February 2009: She seems to be taking advantage of your good nature.
I get the feeling she's used to "twisting you around her little finger".
You don't mention "love" in your letter.
If you have feelings for her, talk this out. Good communication is an essent... (read in full...)
Am I the other woman? Pregnant and confused!
Q. Well I don't know where to start really,so I am sorry if I jsut seem to ramble. I am in a realtionship of 3 years and have recently been told that my partner is still with his so called ex.(she called and threatned me)I had no idea from what he told ...
A. 1 February 2009: You're really in an unfortunate mess.
Let's try and get a few things into perspective.
1. This guy doesn't seem trustworthy. He's definately been dishonest somewhere along the line.
2. You're pregnant and would like to have the baby.
3. Yo... (read in full...)
He left me, went back to his wife, now left his wife again and wants me back
Q. I met my boyfriend shortly after he had split up from his wife we had a wonderful relationship for a few months then i couldn't believe it when he sat me down and told me he was going back to his wife he had been feeling really low recently and ...
A. 28 January 2009: Make sure he's started divorce proceedings before taking him back again.
He doesn't seem to know what he wants. Take things slowly and don't be too quick to trust him, unless you know he's left his wife permanently.... (read in full...)
No teeth please!
Q. my girlfriend loves giving me head and luvs to swallow, not to sound ungreatful but she isnt very good at it. her teeth get in the way and my penis is very sensitive and after a while it begins to hurt resulting in me not being able to cum.is there ...
A. 28 January 2009: I don't see what the problem is. The two of you are in an intimate relationship so you should be able to discuss what you enjoy and what you don't.
Just explain the problem to her. She can't read your mind, and she's never experienced it hers... (read in full...)
I like more mature ladies (over 50) but I'm 27. Is this wrong?
Q. Hi, I'm 27 years old but I like muture ladies over 50. I wanna marry a muture lady but most of ladies think that I am joking or interested in their wealth. Please, anyone that can help me... how can I get and impress a lady over 50?...
A. 28 January 2009: Age shouldn't be an obstacle in a relationship.
If you enjoy being together and are attracted to each other, it's no one's business but yours.
Many older women would be flattered to have a younger guy show an interest in her.
Just be yourself. Yo... (read in full...)
We can't officially date because of cultural differences
Q. I'm Black and like a White Jewish boy. yep, it isn't as plain as that though. The attraction is mutual and we can't get our hands off of each other. We have a lot in common and always have a great time whenever we're together. The problem is that we ...
A. 28 January 2009: I'm so sorry to hear that racial difference still plays a part in the New South Africa.
If you really want to be together, to hell with all the criticism! After all, you're not doing anything illegal! If the people around you cannot accept that we'r... (read in full...)
I got divorced, he didn't, should I wait around or what?
Q. short version of the long story. I fell in love with my boss (though we are the same age). We started as great friends and everyone thought we were soulmates. Then he told me he was thinking of me all the time and that he could not get me out of ...
A. 26 January 2009: Seems to me this guy has been telling you all the oldest lines in the book, and if you got divorced because of him, you've really been taken for a ride.
YOU want to get old with him and hold his hand forever. What does HE want? He obviously want... (read in full...)
Is a woman's age a society issue??
Q. Is a female turning 30+ a bad thing in society? Are women over 30 a bad thing? Do guys prefer girls in there 20s because I know a few guys who ask out girls in there 20s. Where does that leave me?...
A. 26 January 2009: NO age is a "bad thing in society".
Guys of all ages are looking for partners.
It doesn't matter if you're 20, 30, 40, or 50 (or more). You're alive and as such, are an important member of society.
Make the best of yourself, excercise and eat heal... (read in full...)
Should I be impolite and indifferent to them or be as friendly as I can without showing them special interest?
Q. I have agreed to stay friends with the man I used to date the last year. Although we are going out sometimes, we are only friends. Although I have told him my true feelings in the past, he did't really change his mind and now I accept him as a ...
A. 26 January 2009: I really don't see much point in this friendship.
You're obviously unhappy and he's been honest, and made it clear to you that he only wants you for friendship.
If you can stay friends with him without your emotions being envolved, carry on by al... (read in full...)
Last week he called me and said he loved me but wasn't in love with me...
Q. Dear cupid, I have been with my boyfriend for 11 months. Last week he called me and said he loved me but wasn't in love with me. He doesn't want to break up. He still wants us to be together, and he doesn't want to date other girls. He gave me ...
A. 26 January 2009: Just enjoy being together with him. Many relationships start off with feelings of friendship and admiration, and they grow into something more.
You say you really love him, so just be patient. He may be scared to make a commitment.
Enjoy life for... (read in full...)
Should I end this FWB relationship or tell him I want more?
Q. I am currently in a "friends with benefits" situation. I'm going thru a divorce and he just got out of a serious relationship. On one hand, I am content with our relationship being casual...I don't want to rush into a full blown relationship just ...
A. 26 January 2009: You're right not to want to rush into anything at the moment. Neither of you are ready.
What's your hurry?
Carry on the relationship as it is. Take each day as it comes.
When the time is right, you'll know whether you still want to be together.... (read in full...)
How do I meet women?
Q. I don't know how to meet women. Well, I have been using EHarmony for a few months and it was great at first, but I do not get very many matches anymore and the ones that I do get are mostly inactive or non-subscribers. I would like to go to a club ...
A. 25 January 2009: Signing up for just one Internet site is not enough.
Sign up for as many as possible. Post a recent picture, and be honest.
You seem to lack confidence and self esteem, which is half the battle. Being fit will give your body image a boost. If you d... (read in full...)
Feeling left out in this place
Q. Dear Cupid, My family and I live in a small town. It is a very nice community and everyone is friendly. My husband and I are both friendly people. We are both likable people. We mingle easily and have no problems when we are at a social gath...
A. 25 January 2009: I have a few suggestions, but your problem is quite common. It's difficult getting in to new social circle at any age.
1. Invite a few couples over for a meal or a cup of coffee.
2. Check out events in your area.
3. Join a sports or social club.... (read in full...)
I can't get over my ex b/f
Q. Short version: We were together for a short time but he's made such an impact on me that I can't imagine my life without him. It was passionate, real, so much love. We talked about moving in together, marriage and kids. He is 36 and I'm 33. He b...
A. 25 January 2009: I've been reading the answers here and they all offer good advice, but I know how difficult it must be for you as you really seem to love this guy.
My advice would be to keep on seeing him but don't let on how you feel about him.
Date other gu... (read in full...)
How can I find a bf who wont just use me for sex??
Q. All I want is a boyfriend that will stick around and not just use me for sex. It always happens to me, I don't know whether its the people I choose or whether its me. I know I could be a good girlfriend and I would treat someone so well, but I ...
A. 25 January 2009: Sweetie,
At your age, you shouldn't even be having sex. You should be going on dates and getting to know guys. Perhaps you could kiss and cuddle, BUT you're too young to be having sex.
At your age, you cannot cope with the emotional aspects ... (read in full...)
All I want is some space to be left alone for a while!!
Q. I have this ex girlfriend who's gone completely raging psycho on me. I mean, completely off the deep end. We broke up about 3 months ago, but she is still expecting me to treat her like she's my girlfriend and that's completely flustering to me. ...
A. 22 January 2009: She knows that her tantrums and threats keep you on the run.
Stop answering her calls and definately don't call her back. She may be getting mixed messages from you even though you yell and scream at each other.
You have to get out of this des... (read in full...)
I want to be pregnant and have a baby too!
Q. I really hope someone can help, I'm about to give up on motherhood! Everywhere and everybody is getting babies, and it breaks my heart to be near friends that have them. Even my brother had an unplanned pregnancy (not married) its so unfair! they ...
A. 22 January 2009: Being unable to fall pregnant when we want to, is devastating, but you have to relax.
Stress is one of the biggest reasons for not falling pregnant.
See a doctor and find out if there's a physical reason for not falling pregnant. Your husband ... (read in full...)
Does she love me or am I just a friend?
Q. Well I like a girl in my own office. I have already proclaimed my love to her once, she rejected it. Then afterwards we didn't even talk to each other till new year when the dead lock was broken. since that day on we began for talking for hours on ...
A. 22 January 2009: You're so busy writing SMS messages, so write her a message asking if she'd like to go out with you.
You've got nothing to lose. If she likes you she'll accept, and if not, she'll refuse.
Take it from there.
... (read in full...)
How can I make him believe that I was a virgin?
Q. hi,after i had sex for the first time, i realised i wasnt a virgin. my boyfriend does'nt belive me when i tell him he was my first since i wasnt a virgin. i think the cause of loosing my virginity is riding bicycles alot since it was one of my ...
A. 22 January 2009: Your hymen could easily have broken by physical activity such as bicycle riding.
If he was the first guy you had sexual intercourse with, you were technically a virgin.
Trust is the basis of any relationship so tell him to get lost.
was HE a ... (read in full...)
Should I wait for my 1st love or walk away?
Q. I have been reading the different stories on love and married men however; I haven’t come across one which is similar to mine. So here I am asking for help! My married man is my first and only love...We met ten years ago when I was 17, we da...
A. 22 January 2009: Wow!It's difficult for me to say if this guy loves you or not, but it's doubtful he'll leave his wife and child.
I think he's using his child as an excuse not to leave, or he'd already have left. So what makes you think he'll leave his wife in the ... (read in full...)
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