A
female
age
41-50,
*tarryone
writes:Well I don't know where to start really,so I am sorry if I jsut seem to ramble. I am in a realtionship of 3 years and have recently been told that my partner is still with his so called ex.(she called and threatned me)I had no idea from what he told me they were split up...now I find out she is on his business name,alot of his stuff is at her place. They share a child togeather,he told me he paid child support..seems now I find out that he is paying for everything!So I call him on it and he denies it and says she is crazy blah blah blah.....however some of his family states that they are in fact not togeather?????? Now the even more messed up part I have had a previous abortion with this guy...he stated he couldn't have another kid he wasn't ready etc etc etc....I did what I felt was best for me as well at that point. I got myself on some better birth control...and now have found out I am pregnant again! I have not told anyone except for a few very close friends....he has no idea. I really wanted to keep the baby,but I made an appointment for an abortion next Monday(9days from today) I am getting further along now and can't wait anymore....I am so torn and confused I don't know what to think anymore....I know only I can make the decision. I guess I am just looking for insight into this situation from others...I keep going over everything in my mind and I am more confused than ever...I mean how would I go about telling him now at this point 16 weeks????? I don't know what to think about his faithfulness....I am scared and feeling so alone,I know there will probably be some really mean responses to this,but I am hoping for some good ones as well...any advice would be appreciated. P.s. I don't wnat to debate the whole abortion issue(is it right is it wrong etc) if possible thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (1 February 2009):
 You're really in an unfortunate mess.
Let's try and get a few things into perspective.
1. This guy doesn't seem trustworthy. He's definately been dishonest somewhere along the line.
2. You're pregnant and would like to have the baby.
3. You've made an appointment for an abortion.
I think you should tell this guy that you're pregnant. and that you want to keep the baby (if you do).
If he is the father, he's obligated by law to pay child support. He cannot force you into having an abortion although this is no doubt what he'd like to do.
Tell him that you want an honest answer as to his relationship with his wife.
After 3 years, the least you can expect is honesty.
The decision on keeping the baby, or having an abortion is yours. Only you can know whether you're able to bring up a child (not only the financial aspect).
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