A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid... Im gonna be straight forward... Im a VERY SHY woman in bed. Ive been with my husband for 7 years now (6 of them we were not married!) and I feel like Im just too shy for him... I have fantasies of being more wild but Im not the type of woman to take control, I feel weird and dirty when I break out of the shy zone... however it seems that, when I quit being shy its much better sex... how can i become more comfortable in bed? Also during the whole 7 years of our relationship we've only had sex with the lights on twice... Im a little uncomfortable with my body, I dont feel attractive anymore!
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female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (5 February 2009):
 You don't say how your husband feels.
Does HE want you to be more wild in bed? He may be completely satisfied with you as you are!
If it bothers you, discuss it with him. Try and open up.
Read books or look up new things to do on the internet. try little things, one at a time to build up your confidence.
It'll be a bit strange if you SUDDENLY go all wild in bed. He may also be lacking in confidence. Take things slowly.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): If you want to change things, you have to be the one to break out of your shell. Be willing to try things that make you a bit uncomfortable. You said yourself the sex is better when you let yourself go, so what have you got to lose? Your husband has been with you for 7 years now. I highly doubt there's some big flaw he's suddenly going to find in you if you open yourself up to him a bit more sexually. If anything, I'm sure he'll appreciate it. Maybe you should talk with him and he can be the more aggressive one to get you to do the things that you're unsure of. As you become more used to doing certain things, they'll become less unnatural and uncomfortable to you. Trust your husband. You two have been together a long time. You can open up to him and let him in on your wild fantasies. Nothing will change if you don't change it, so dive right in hun! I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out for you!
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