A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,My family and I live in a small town. It is a very nice community and everyone is friendly. My husband and I are both friendly people. We are both likable people. We mingle easily and have no problems when we are at a social gathering. The problem is that the people who I have gotten to know and would like to make friends with, already have a group that they get together with and don't seem like they want to include new people. Do you know what I mean? I have no problems making friends who "I'll help you, you help me back" kind of thing, but it seems like they do not want to go any further than that. I don't feel that it is anything personal, just that they already have friends to get together and go out with. My husband is happy sitting on the couch watching sports, but I am a very social person, and it really hurts my feelings and makes me feel left out when we are not included. Does anyone have any thoughts, suggestions, ideas, opinions, advice and/or words of wisdom to share? I would be interested in any feelings you could give me.Also, does anyone have any clearcut ideas/guidelines for making friends, just some interesting points? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 48years  +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Breaking into an established tight knit group isn't easy.
Divide and conquer. Start off simple, invite a couple to a movie to double date with you and your husband. Then add to that couple... slowly...
A
female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (25 January 2009):
 I have a few suggestions, but your problem is quite common. It's difficult getting in to new social circle at any age.
1. Invite a few couples over for a meal or a cup of coffee.
2. Check out events in your area.
3. Join a sports or social club.
4. Join a gym.
Hope I've been of help. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTHanks for your response. I guess that it is important to realize that people are all different. I don't even really expect to be included in anyone's group but just for them to be open to do things with us once in awhile, and it seems like those people who already have their group already have this void filled if you know what I mean.
Feeling Left Out
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (25 January 2009):
 I've never understood those people that exclude new people. It seems like you need all the friends you can get. If people behave this way, it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, and maybe they aren't deliberately trying to make you feel left out... but it still sucks to feel that way.
I have learned that the people that you make friends with, are the people with whom you have interests in common. For example, perhaps you are interested in traveling... there may be someone else who would like to go to another state or country on a trip, and you guys could go together. That's just one example.
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