A
female
age
30-35,
*ady S
writes:All I want is a boyfriend that will stick around and not just use me for sex. It always happens to me, I don't know whether its the people I choose or whether its me. I know I could be a good girlfriend and I would treat someone so well, but I hardly get the chance because they don't care about that they just want sex and when they get that they'll go, so basically I'd have to starve myself from sex just to keep a man around! I just wish I knew what my problem was so I could fix it?I need to have a new start, I'm not going to be treat like dirt any more, and not going to be thought of some girl who can just be used for sex. New year, new girl! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 January 2009):
You don't have to "starve" yourself of sex.
Waiting and building up the tension is half the fun.
It also says your age is 13 - 15. If you are having illegal and underage sex then it is no wonder that they are just using you - they are little boys.
Men will not stick around if you give yourself away too easily. If you build up and give them a little bit more each week then in the long run (and hopefully once you are 16) then they will actually know what they are doing and the sex will be much better anyway.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Sweetie,
At your age, you shouldn't even be having sex. You should be going on dates and getting to know guys. Perhaps you could kiss and cuddle, BUT you're too young to be having sex.
At your age, you cannot cope with the emotional aspects of sexual relationships (besides the fact that underage sex is against the law).
Guys get to know which girls are "easy" and they take advantage. Get to know them before you let them get physical. You're letting them use you!
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (25 January 2009):
 My personal feeling on this one is that the problem is more who you are choosing not so much yourself. One thing that you could do to seperate the wheat from the chafe so to speak is take things a little slower I feel; make sure you are getting to know somebody before you get into that side of things. It's not about 'starving' yourself so much as pacing yourself. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anon642 +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Good on you! I'm a little concerned that you've been having sex at your age but it's done now so i'm not going to go on.I think what you could do is just date people. Don't even mention sex, that should come much later in the relationship and especially at your age.Your only 13-15? so why try and have a relationship that includes sex as if your a 25 year old?Whether you like it or not you are still a child so why rush into things.Back to the dating thing..when you find someone you like just go on dates with them, when you kiss is entirely up to you but don't let it go any further than that, especially on dates.Think about things where maybe you have the first date with absolutely no physical contact at all, just talking and getting to know each other, then the next date is the same thing but maybe a kiss if you want, then the next date you could kiss if you didnt in the 2nd but if you did then just keep it as the same as the 2nd but maybe tell him that you want to take things slow. Then the 4th date you should get comfortable around each other and then possibly take about a relationship or maybe even meet each others friends/parents. Then the next date you could talk about a relationship.I know that seems like a lot of dates but what im trying to get at is if the guy is really interested in you then he will stick around and won't push you into sex at all.If they only want sex then they probably wont want to go on anymore than 2 dates.Also if they trully like you and are not interested in sex right away with you then they'll be happy to meet your friends and parents. If a guy is only with you for sex then he won't want to do that because of how your parents/friends will think of him after.Basically be strict and let them know that your on the date to be messed around. Your there to get to know someone and if you could have a relationship with them. Your only young so this thing shouldn't be rushed.Hope this helps.All the best :)
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