A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi i am in my fourties and have been with my partner for 3 going on 4 yrs,i love him to bits but i also am more irritated about his change in attitude since we met,i never saw it at the start,the trouble is i love him for all his faults and mistakes,and told him so,but he doesnt seem to feel the same way back,he is very picky,judgemental,and likes to think he is always right,and i then feel very low in self esteem,and then angry that im not that perfect for him
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female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 I always think that love equals mutual respect. You love him and respect whatever differences there are between you two. You love him, and you probably has respect for him despite his faults, like you said. But, would you still be willing to remain in this relationship knowing that he does not respect you? Knowing that he drives you to the ground?
I have just gotten out of a relationship, where my partner was 95% wonderful but when he is upset, he hurled disrespectful words at me that left me feeling like I am worthless human being. I was physically sick for a week immediately after the break up. just from thinking that my life has fallen apart. I am better now and this site, and my friends have all been supportive of me in the healing process.
I would suggest that you do your own search and reading on similar situations on this site (using key words such as abuse, verbal abuse, psychological or emotional abuse, etc etc etc) and see what comments and advice people have offered. Whatever decision you make, you need to do it based on your own conviction, and hopefully, when you make that decision, you are already well informed on the pros and cons of the option that you decided to take.
Good luck! Every one deserves love and respect, not abuse.
Cat
A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 Both of you have to realise that no one's perfect. We all have our ways and habits.
Do you really love him or are you scared to be without him? Love often becomes an obsession or addiction, and we just can't see ourselves without the other person.
His behaviour is no less than abusive and I suggest you get used to the idea of being without him and get on with your life. He won't change and you're not his door-mat.
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A
female
reader, 0101A +, writes (23 February 2009):
Hey :)He sounds like a bit of an idiot, like my partner!I know how you feel and you're not alone, i dont know if you fancy reading my question but it sounds like we have similar stories.I am not going to tell you to leave him, although this might be the best option, because i know its way easier said than done! If you fancy a chat and discuss our problems id be more than happy to!!Good Luck xxx
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