A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know how to meet women. Well, I have been using EHarmony for a few months and it was great at first, but I do not get very many matches anymore and the ones that I do get are mostly inactive or non-subscribers. I would like to go to a club or bar, but I don't feel comfortable going alone. I also don't have any male friends my age who could go with me as a "wing-man". Actually, that's not such a big deal and I would rather go by myself I suppose. The problem is that if I go to a bar or club, I don't know what to do. In a club, I usually get a beer, then go stand along the wall and just watch people dance along with other guys on "loser's row". I can't dance -- overly Caucasian. In a bar, I guess I would just sit by myself, order a drink, maybe dinner after work, but really have nothing to do. Actually, I don't even enjoy drinking alcohol. I can do it for social interaction, but don't really care to drink for drinking itself. Anyone got any better ideas to meet women? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): Maybe consider pursuing an interest or taking up a new hobby. Joining a club/group (eg book club) or starting a course (eg art, photography, cookery, gardening, a sport) might give you a chance to meet people. They'll have at least one similar interest and you'll have a ready made starting point to a conversation (ie discussing the interest, complimenting their artwork, whatever...) Even if you think you wouldn't be interested in any of these things, I'm sure if you do some research you'll find something to suit you. And who knows, even if you hate it you might meet a women in the same position and you can laugh about it together!!Best of luck!
A
female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Signing up for just one Internet site is not enough.
Sign up for as many as possible. Post a recent picture, and be honest.
You seem to lack confidence and self esteem, which is half the battle. Being fit will give your body image a boost. If you don't enjoy bars, don't frequent them. There are plenty of other places to meet girls.
Supermarkets and laundromats are a good possibility.
Or "borrow" a young niece or nephew (or even a dog)for walks in the parket. Girls love seeing guys with kids (or dogs). It's agreat conversation starter.
Relax and be yourself.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Internet dating is fine but E-Harmony and many others are a rip-off. As "smeedle" recommended, there are some free ones, such as craigslist, but you may hook-up with some real dirt bags, so be cautious. My recommendation is to hang out where the ladies are, and a good idea may be to take a class that attracts females. Maybe a cooking, dancing, art or wine appreciation class. Local gyms can be good and some municipal recreation centers are cheap or free. You just have to get out of the house because the girls are unlikely to come knocking on your door, at least not until they know you.
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Forget the bars, you dont really like them so dont relax when you are in them, if you feel like a fish out of water then thats what you will be.
My advice is internet dating,you may want to join a few sites and there are some free ones now.
The more you date, the more likely you are to find the right woman.
Be honest in your advert, say what you like and dont like, dont pretend to be someone you are not and be flexible about what type, age etc of woman you want.
I found my partner on the dating sites and it was the best thing I ever done, like you I was not into the pub, club scene so didnt mix well, on the internet you can chat to the person for awhile and when you meet you already know what you have in common.
Words of caution though are that not everyone on dating sites are who they say they are, some are just looking for sex, some for a place to stay or way into the country, some have seriouse emotional problems etc.
Just be careful and sensible and good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): You don't want to meet a woman in a bar anyway. I don't know about your health or fitness,but it helps to be in shape! If you're in good shape, disregard the health stuff and go to the end.
Start exercising at home.Go to the park and walk, in time you'll spot the regulars. you can strike up a conversation there.You'll get in better shape too! Consider bicycling, lots of women ride bikes. Another option, get a motorcycle!
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