A
female
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anonymous
writes:Lately I have begun to feel very low and isolated. Im usually a chatty, active 25 year old but over the last few weeks I have had such a horrible feeling inside me it wont go away. I feel cut off from my friends and sad that I havnt got anything exciting to look forward too. Im in the middle of moving into a new flat so every penny I earn from my job is beng saved for this and so I havent been out for a while with friends. My job is very stressful and I work full time but after work I just go home and then bed. Every day its like a cycle. But I cant afford to do fun things. But anyway, this feeling has taken over me now and Im convinced that my friends dont like me and think that Im weird. Its so bad that I cant even pick up the phone and ring a best friend because Im scared that I wont have anything to say. All I wanna do lately is hide in my bed all day. What is wrong with me?
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female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (8 February 2009):
 You're really in a rut and depressed, to say the least.
Try making an effort not to lie in bed when you're at home.
Go jogging or even for walks in the park. Try and appreciate the nature surrounding you.
Don't give up your friends. Call them, even if you talk for just a few minutes. Try not to burden them with your problems, but talking is a way of unburdening everyday stress.
Yoga and meditation could relax you.
If you feel the situation is too much for you, see a doctor. There's no reason to "carry the world on your shoulders".
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Just want to say "I love you". Yeah...you read it right! I just likes fools like you. I know this breed. Don't know exactly how exactly to tell you. I think this story will serve the purpose:A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for each of you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eying each other's cups.Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead. Hey " I love you" ...once again!! :)
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A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (8 February 2009):
That's called depression; it's not just you and it is very common. There are minor and major depressive episodes (you can look up checklists of signs online). Talking with someone (a good friend or counselor/therapist) is an important thing to do. By having the courage to say out loud what you are feeling, and discuss it rationally with someone, it will take on a more realistic size. It will be easier to deal with. Just saying to someone (for example) that you feel afraid to call up a friend because you don't want to bring them down, will usually cause a friend to laugh, say don't be silly, and make plans with you to do something (not necessarily expensive) that will break that self-reinforcing cycle.And these things generally pass, so don't worry that you are broken or anything. Even in situations where there is serious clinical depression (this runs in my mother's side of the family) it can be treated and makes a world of difference.Also, a lot of people say that getting physically active (going running, etc) has a great effect on depression (especially in situations like yours where it sounds more like a situational spiral than a genetic/biochemical thing). Of course, when someone is depressed, being active is difficult, but at least it is something you can do, or get a friend to nag you to do with them. Just being able to get yourself up and do something undermines the negative self-image that wants to keep you in bed.So: talk, and move.:-)
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A
male
reader, nash +, writes (8 February 2009):
Friends(true friends) will understand absolutely anything their friends have to say, explain the situation, see if you could go out with them, on them for the night and pay them back when you can afford it, although you feel that you don't know what to say there are loads of things to talk about, ease into conversation asking how they are and everything, have a talk and answer if needs be as to why you haven't been about but would like to, your friends should stick by you and help you, they will understand and if they are the friends that friends should be they will offer help and things.
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