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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm a 34 year old female teacher... Last year I had a relationship with an ex pupil (who was 17 at the time) We had a beautiful relationship for an entire year until her parents found out and all hell broke loose. I put my hands up to the blame and do realisze i broke the position of trust... I lost my job and found a new one. However ever since the school sacked me i haven't heard from this girl at all. We had one last phonecall and she seemed pretty sad and confused... she told me she couldn't upset her parents anymore at the time and said she would get in touch when she no longer lived with them.Anyway i emailed her on her 18th birthday but haven't heard anything from her for a whole year! She'll be going to university in September and i still love her so much.... do you think i should make contact before she leaves? Any thoughts appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): Leave her alone. I had a relationship with a teacher at 15 and it really messed me up. Go away and find someone you can be with legally. quit being a teacher and find a job without pupil contact.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2006): I am a high school teacher and I was bothered by the things that you were concerned about in this situation. I was bothered by the fact that you are concerned whether or not this girl is still interested and there is not much indication that you really are aware of the damage that you could have done here. Are you still teaching? Having an affair with one of your students is damaging on so many levels and it lowers the bar for those of us who remain in the profession.Please move on from this girl as it has probably been damaging for her. She was your student after all. Find someone with whom you have more in common and appreciate what it really is to be a teacher.
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female
reader, matron +, writes (24 June 2006):
 Just read my reply to you, sorry if it sounded hard hearted i sincerely do wish you happiness in the future x
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female
reader, matron +, writes (24 June 2006):
Face it she has moved on and doesn't need you in her life anymore. You obviously were serious about the relationship where as she wasn't, she probably thought she was but when it all came out and people got hurt reality stepped in and she realised she didn't want/need you as much as she thought she did.
The only thing you can do is accept it isn't going to happen and move on with your life. She's certainly not given you any indication that she still cares for you, she hasn't replied to your emails or tried to get in touch, no use pursuing this any further. She may get in touch in the future who knows.
Life is too short to sit about waiting for something that may never happen, get out there and live your life, atleast you have some good memories to look back on. Good luck.
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female
reader, Smiler +, writes (24 June 2006):
 Hey Sweetie
Well i have to say i completely agree with both Dr Psych and Dr Pete they are both spot on here :o) you have tried to contact this girl but she has obviously moved on with her life :o( i know thats hard for you to hear cause your obviously still into her in a big way but now she has moved on a not got in contact with you at all that strongly suggests that she indeed has moved on with her life you should really concentrate on gettin over her and moving on with your life maybe moving on to :o)
I hope my advice was of some help to you sweetie :o) good luck ok... If you ever need someone to talk to or just a shoulder to cry on or maybe a little more advice, truely i'm always here for you ok :o)
You Take Care Babe And Good Luck X
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2006): Agreed with every thing DrPsych has said.
You left the ball in her court and she has chosen not to pursue you.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (24 June 2006):
 If you are in the UK, I just thought you ought to know the following:
1. The Sexual Offences Act 2003 makes it a criminal offence to have a sexual relationship between a teacher and pupil in the UK due to breach of trust. It is illegal until the pupil is the age of 18 regardless of whether consent was given or not, or their sexuality.
2. Schools have a statutory duty to report this matter to social services for investigation under section 47 of the 1989 Children's Act (without your consent). If the last school didn't report it then it was a lapse in their professional standards. It doesn't mean this matter won't come back to haunt you in the future however if you aggravate the girls family. Social services work with the police to determine if a prosecution is possible, and I am rather surprised to hear you didn't get a visit from the authorities. Even when teachers are not put on the sex offenders register, a police caution will still appear when an applicant for a teaching job attempts to find future work due to the criminal records bureau check. Some teachers are removed from the teaching register, regardless of whether criminal prosecution is brought or not.
3. The girl in question should be left alone to get on with her life - if she was that interested she would have contacted you. It doesn't seem like you are sorry for what you have done. In my opinion, you need professional counselling if you remain in the teaching profession to prevent history repeating itself. If you get into another relationship with a pupil and the school find out then you will be reported to the authorities (if you weren't last time you were damn lucky), and if they do a background check on you and discover your past then you will be prosecuted and unable to work with children in the future.
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