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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm going out with my boyfriend for a little over 3 months. We met online, and when we met in person, I wasn't really physically attracted to him, he's cute but there were never any real instant sparks. But I pursued him because I found him to be really sweet and nice and really fun to be around. As we've gotten to know each other lately, i like him more and enjoy spending time with him. The only problem is i don't know if i'm truly attracted to him. I'm 22 and he's my first real boyfriend so i dont really have much experience, but i always thought that when you liked someone you'd get the whole butterflies in your stomach and tongue twisted, especially when we're kissing. But I don't. One time we were kissing and i actually felt a little nauseous afterward (maybe i had a bad taste in my mouth, i dont know). I enjoy cuddling and holding hands with him and i feel so safe in his arms though. But i've never felt the true sparks for him, and i'm worried that i never will. I havent told him how i feel because i guess i'm just waiting until the day i hopefully do feel attracted to him, because i really like him and dont want to lose him. should i keep the relationship going and wait to see if my feelings change or should i just end it now and hope we can be friends? i'm so confused!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2006): I met my partner online we was chatting online for 2 months before we met.I didnt get the feeling of butterflies at first and thought just friendship will come from it.Then we went back to chatting online again until a month later and after that second meeting our relationship started and 9 months later we are still together and the relationship is getting stronger and stronger and our feelings towards eachother is as strong as you can get.Give it time and you said you like him and dont want to lose him and in time you might grow to love him more like me in my situation.GOOD LUCK XXXXX
A
female
reader, matron +, writes (8 June 2006):
 Hi,it's early days take the relationship a day at a time and see how it goes, he obviously has strong feelings for you and probably thinks you feel the same, which i suppose deep down you do. It's your first b/f dont expect it to be like the films it rarely is! You have a good foundation in that you are really good friends, that's what relationships are based on so its a good start. Sit and think how you would feel if he was to up and leave you, that should help you sort out how you really feel for him and take it from there.Follow your heart and good luck to you both x
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (8 June 2006):
 If you like him as a person maybe the attraction will follow. I know most people think that's not true but indulge me... I think attraction is VERY important and find it hard to understand anyone who doesn't have that in their relationship. But way back when I was 17, there was a guy I didn't fancy, and didn't think I liked at all. We became friends and over a period of time I grew to love him and yes that includes fancy and no-one was more shocked than me. We were together for 11 years. That isn't to say I didn't feel that wow attraction to others because I did. Ultimately I think although my love was strong, I hadn't been hit by cupid''s arrow. My Mum reckons that the first flush of love disappears over time anyway but in its place is a deeper love. (I'm into happy ever after!) As he's your first boyfriend, there's no rush so play it by ear but don't string him along if you know he likes you as more than just friends.
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