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female
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*ogi
writes: my bf and i have been together for a year and are quite serious. however, from the beginning of the relationship he has always been in contact with his ex gf. recently i told him that i dont feel comfortable and secure with his 'friendship' with his ex. he said he understood and would delete her number from his phone as a gesture of his understanding. But I've realised that she calls him still and he only doesnt answer the calls when im with him. i dont want to confront him because he'll just see me as a snoop but it upsets me so much, what shall i do?
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female
reader, Brittanybeers  +, writes (13 November 2008):
I know this is an old blog but I would like to respond because I am in the same position. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half now & I know he still talks to his ex. The reason I have a problem with this is because (1)the girl is known for being a "homewrecker" and (2) I have cut off all contact with my exes. I love him this much & expect him to do the same. I make it clear that I will not stand for it and I would not take our relationship seriously until he does. You should do the same. Be firm but not persistant. He respects my wishes and trys. I give him credit for that. But until the day comes when he completely cuts off all contact, I will say I do (he has asked me to marry). Let me know how your relationship went. Bye!
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female
reader, anasa +, writes (1 July 2006):
i know that you maybe upset about him contacting his ex but she was part of his life and his ex for a reason if you prevent him from contacting her he will just do it behind your back - surely its better if he can feel he doesnt have to hide this from you - ive been in the same situation - my ex still spoke to me and his girlfriend didnt like it but me and my ex were best of friends and eventually him and his girlfriend split up - but you cant expect him to just cut her out of his life - if he has cut down on calling her at least he is making an effort but you really cant expect the contact to disapear
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female
reader, fogi +, writes (30 June 2006):
fogi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for replying m,the thing is she called today and he picked up, once he realised it was her, he hanged up on her. she called again and he diverted her call. when i asked who it was he said he doesnt know. i have always had a problem with his ex gf because she used him for money which has resulted in him having bad credit. not only that because of her my bf use to harm himself after they broke up. i never said anything at the beginning of the relationship coz i never had the courage. i havent got a ex, my bf is my first bf. the main thing that bothers me is that he talks to her and says he doesnt. he has a mobile so that he can talk to his ex and he doent care that i dont have a mobile (and havent had one for 6 months)and anyway of communicating with him when we're not home together.i wouldnt be so concerned about my situation if we wernt so serious about each other.help me figure this out pls
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female
reader, matron +, writes (30 June 2006):
 Hi, how do you know he answers her calls when you aren't around? If you've been together for a year and they have always been in touch why is it only now that you feel insecure with it?
The truth is, that if he has a good friendship with his ex the chances are he'll continue to have that and if he wants to protect you he'll have to do it behind your back, what's worse him being and open about it or you wondering is isn't he?
If you trust your b/f let him continue his friendship with his ex, i'm sure you still talk to your ex's and think nothing of it. He will love and respect you more if he knows you trust him. Be happy with your man x
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