A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi..probably a very silly question: I had a relationship this wonderful girl a few years back - lets call her L - she had to move to London to continue her studies and my career kept me here. We always kept in touch - I have always been interested career and how she sees the world. At this time I was sharing a house with, what turned out to be, an alcoholic woman - who, I found out later, had been telling stories, some true most not about me about town to anyone who would listen. L (in London!) heard one of these ficticious stories and rang me, understandably, quite irate. I hadnt a clue what she was talking about at the time and when I investigated it and found out L, although she said she believed me, wasnt taking my calls anymore. I, with a bit too much vino in me granted, left her a voice message one evening to say that as she didnt want my friendship anymore I wouldnt contact her again. Real clever! Today is her birthday, should I swallow my pride and send her best wishes or forget it?
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female
reader, matron +, writes (30 June 2006):
 Get in touch with her..sober.. and explain the situation clearly, tell her how you feel about her and take it from there. Dont leave things as they are if you feel you have a chance with her, lifes to short to put things like this on hold. Never grow old and have regrets, go for it then atleast you'll know you've tried. Good luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2006): Gossip is damaging and it appears you were victimized by this roomate's toxicity. Have you dealt with that issue..letting this women know what she did to you, was cruel? While it's possible that L has been busy and didn't reply fo other reasons, her 'no contact' behaviours are too coincidental with the stories she heard about you. It's highly probable, the gossip she heard has left an uneasy impression on her thus her taking the action, in not taking your calls. If so, there is not much you can do about it. Try to honestly assess the reasons 'why' you want to send her a card. Is it because you value her as a friend and she's important to you? If so, maybe that should have been stated in your voice message to her instead of jumping to conclusions. What's happened is your anger and irate attitude, told her a lot about your character. While I am strong believer in taking positive, proactive actions to 'right a wrong'. You need to apologise for sending that irate voice message to her and work hard at making her understand that this type of immature, disrespectful behaviour is 'not who you really are'. Send her the card but she may not reply and you need to realize that is the risk you take and the damage may have been done. If she doesn't reply, leave her alone face the loss and get on with your life.
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