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male
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anonymous
writes:I know this sounds like a ridiculous question but why do people have affairs or cheat behind their partner's back? I ask because I'm 18 and never been in a proper relationship so I don't understand it. Also is it more common for men or women to be unfaithful and have an affair?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009): Why people cheat?It is simply because they are bored of staying in their relationship.. especially when their partner restrict them in doing things that will make them happy like going out with friends, some reason of cheating is also jealousy,mistrust,communication and having no time for their partner.. spending quality time is very important factor in keeping relationship stronger..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2008): i think people cheat because they are bored in their relationship. they may love the person they are with but that person doesn't give them the sexual excitement that they want. so they stay with that person but look for the sexual fun else where. then again you get those who just can. they want to impress friends or coz that other person is a real turn on. it takes great courage, resistance and faithfullness to be able to control yourself on the heat of the moment. hope all this makes sense!!!!! i was a serial cheater but found someone who satisfied me in all departments. trust me on all i've said, i really know. xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): men cheat because they can; women cheat because they want to
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): people cheat to satsfie thier need to be happy but they never think that cheating hurt others maybe destroy them and break thier heart most commnly that man cheat not a women
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): Men cheat for the hell of it.And Women cheat because the man in there life ain't taking care of them
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female
reader, matron +, writes (24 June 2006):
 I think it's 50/50 on the male/female thing.
People cheat for all kinds of reasons, some do it to get caught, especially if they feel they are being taken for granted or not appreciated, it brings things out in the open and they've proved to themselves that someone wants them. Others do it because they can, it's an ego thing, makes them feel good.
My stance on it is that if you dont want the person you're with then leave them, an affair is exciting because it's secretive and usually full of passion, but if the affair turns into a proper relationship, the novelty can wear off and you're back where you started but with a different face, or that person isn't who you thought they were and so you regret getting into that situation.
Either way people always get hurt, and that kind of hurt takes a long time to heal, believe me.
I sincerely hope you never have to go through that pain but like all of us you probably will, if so follow your head not your heart. Be lucky x
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2006): I 'cheated' because my husband, then only 21 had spent 4 years telling me he wasn't sure if he was gay or not. I loved him, but he started never speaking to me, humiliating me. I was very lonely as he was in the Army and my parents and friends were 200 miles away. I was 21, had no job, lived in the country with no neighbours. One of my husband's friends used to innocently chat to me to pass some time, and over the period of a year, I was left in the house whilst my husband was posted abroad. Every time I seemed to go anywhere this 'friend' seemed to be there by fate, there was no way he could have engineered where I was going to be. My husband had made me feel insecure by constantly wondering what it would have been like to 'be with someone else', and while he was away the inevitable happened. I was not an experienced young woman, in fact I married the first boyfriend, I am not a man eater. It just seemd a collection of circumstances fell in my way and after my husband was sent away I fell ill and his 'friend' was the only one around to look after me. he had never even had one girlfriend so neither of us were exactly players of the field. I had no children.
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female
reader, willywombat +, writes (24 June 2006):
 People cheat for a myriad or reasons - not just through selfishness or looking for a cheap thrill.
I come down hard on adulterers on this iste, because many have not given their marriages 150%chance of trying to fix them. But some people try evrything to fix a marriage and just sometimes there poor judgement can be a cry for somebody to notice their emotional needs for a change. Take a mum whose hubby works away, maybe they stay together for the children, finnacial security, emotional security. Maybe they cannot have sex and either partner looks for their *carnal* needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.
Generalisation leads to a poor view of human behaviour. Very often there are many reasons for either partner to be unfaithful.....I am not saying it is right or should be done but we shouldn't judge without knowing a full picture and history really. Yep, some people will do it for the *kick* of a new conquest or just out of sheer boredom or spite, but then they are the people who are probably very shallow in everyday life anyhow.
as for whether it is men or women who cheat more, men used to have more oppotunity when they were the main breadwinners working outside the home. But in my opinion (only) I think nowadays it is probably pretty equal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2006): There are all sorts of reasons why people cheat, it could literally be any thing.
Ultimately though if someone cheats on their partner it is because they have put their feelings before their partner's - it's a pretty selfish thing to do.
Imagine you were in a relationship with a guy, it had been a few months or years, you felt like your boyfriend didn't give you enough attention so you felt neglected. Then comes along a cool, confident guy that makes you feel just how your boyfriend did. He compliments you, makes you feel sexy. You end up going out, having a few drinks and before you know it you're having sex with him. Unfortunately these things happen. Those who have a stronger will - can see things more clearly, are more aware of their feelings, their relationship and more importantly, empathetic towards their boyfriends feelings would probably not do this. As soon as they found themselves being attracted to someone else, they would stop themselves and concentrate on fixing the problems in their relationship.
Hope that helps?
As for who cheats the most - difficult to answer really. Traditionally I would have said men, but nowadays I would say it is probably more or less equal. You can't generalise on a whole sex though, it's more to do with individual personalities and their experiences that make them who they are.
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