A
female
age
,
*anet3560
writes:I'm hoping I can sum this up in a short. I have been with my Fiance' for 7.5 years and I love him to death; 7 years and 2 months has been while he was in prison, but I've known him for 25 years. To make a long story short, he has to attend AA three times a week and aftercare 1 day a week to get his DL back from revocation 23 years ago. I am feeling so left out of his life, because he is telling me that he has to start sharing our phone number with the AA members, and he needs to take theirs so that he can get to know them to have letters written on his behalf; he says he needs to know them socially but yet will not open up to me. I feel very neglected being we are in such a short relationship in a non-controlled environment. I know the way I'm feeling are my feelings, but I don't know how to stop them. Please help...
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female
reader, Janet3560 +, writes (17 June 2008):
Janet3560 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to both answers, thank you for acknowledging my question. I just want to make clear that he has had sobriety for 12 years while incarcerated because he chose it. He was in prison for 15 years and we have been together as a couple for 7.5 years; I saw him 3 days a week. He just got out almost 3 months ago and I'm feeling neglected is all, being he seems to open up more to the people in the groups than me. I'm trying to understand my feelings, and trying to get past them.
But thanks again
A
male
reader, JTalbott +, writes (17 June 2008):
 I am sorry you're feeling left out. Although being with your finance is something you've looked forward to for a very long time, leaving prison and moving in together is a huge change in your life and change always brings discomfort. The adjustments you're going through are very normal.
What he is doing is very important to his recovery and longterm sobriety. It is very important for him to get a sponsor and to communicate with that person on a regular basis. It is also important for his sobriety that what is discussed be kept confidential.
I would encourage you to attend an Al-Anon meeting or two to get a better understanding of what other partners in your situation are experiencing.
http://www.al-anon.org/english.html
I congratulate him for making this important step in his road to recovery. Please give him all the support you can.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta  +, writes (17 June 2008):
 "I'm feeling neglected by him, he has to attend AA meetings after getting out of prison."That is the greatest title... Ever.That title makes Ben Hurr look like an Epic.At what point in the day did you think that dating an ex con with a drinking problem was going to be a good basis for a relationship?.. yes we know you've knowen him for 25 years so 3 months after meeting him he goes to jail for 7 years.Now given the digital age we live in, my question is, in what format and resolution would you like me to paint you a picture in?i honestly don't know what else to say to you or tell you. 3 months of dating and 7 years in the sausage palace.you stop neglict your own feeling even if he neglicts you.. did you really think he's get out and life would go back to normal? after 7 years apart.
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