A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What are the pro's and con's of swinging??
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female
reader, shouldweswing  +, writes (7 October 2010):
I've been trying to figure out if I could get beyond my personal insecurities about swinging, which my husband would like to involve us in. I adore him and want him to be happy - have even sent two high class 'escorts' to him while travelling to answer his desires. We hired a third for one experience, which I survived, but uncomfortably.
It seems to be a matter of reaching secure agreement in advance with your husband or partner as to what you are comfortable with - brutal honesty here; finding a circumstance to experiment in which you will be accepted even if it doesn't work the first time; and most importantly it's a choice one makes for oneself rather than for their partner.
You might consider it out of love for someone else, but participation has to be on basis of some personal desire to participate. That's a lesson learned the hard way. The smart part of our decision is that we hired a willing participant who was content with whatever outcome occurred, rather than putting ourselves in a situation where others' choices might be taken as rejection.
I'm not twenty anymore and so can be physically insecure despite the reality that swinging is not a situation where only the young and beautiful are involved.
There are numerous ways to approach it and that choice alone may ultimately determine whether you continue, certainly if you have doubts and the initial run is somehow unsuccessful or problematic.
Men view it differently than women; know this in your heart. Men usually better categorize sexual encounters into meaningful and purely fun experiences. Women are generally raised to think ill of themselves if they engage in those fun experiences. Understanding this to the center of your being is elemental to everything. You may also find that you can also do this, as women are learning freedom still.
A
male
reader, Jay8159 +, writes (28 January 2010):
Only if you let it- and only if one enters into this with a poor relationship... If you have a bad union, get help... THEN if you wish try swinging. You may like this. Maybe a whole bunch. Who knows?
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A
male
reader, Jay8159 +, writes (28 January 2010):
I live in Richmond, VA. Swinging has MANY outcomes. and I am Divorced x 3; Does it mean it is bad? Not really.I am a retired Public Service Person. I have been though hell and back. I started swinging with girlfriends while serving in the USN. My gals was in the Military. We had great sex, and I even tried Bisexuality with ones urging. We had so many experiences, I should go onto some sex site- But this is not what it comes down too.It should be done in a marriage ONLY if it is ROCK SOLID. Not your version. BUT ROCK SOLID.You are horny and want sex to help your mate. I did. No problem. Go about it the right way. TALK, TALK, TALK. A lot! Know what you need and want. NEED is what you need. WANT is what you dream about. I needed to know she was satisfied- ALWAYS. Look at the situation, and be prepared! It is not so much about this swinging, but how you looked at ALL things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2009): Pros:
1. Hot sex in combinations other than M-F
2. Post swinging HOT sex, between you and your SO.
3. Odds are you'll start taking much better care of yourself, so as to make your self more attractive.
Cons:
1. You may spend alot of time trying to find compatable couples, and run into alot of flakes.
2. You'll have to invent alot of cover storys if you go out alot.
3. Jelously could come into play. You're going to have to get really good at communication with your SO.
4. If one person says "stop", you ahve to stop... otherwise, major problems...
5. potential nutty people, drama, STD's...
There are a ton more...
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A
male
reader, JTalbott +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Pros: If you do it at a public party and involve your partner, it can be a lot of fun and give you a lot of experiences to share.
Cons: In an instant, it can jealousies that can last a very long time. More importantly, it consumes a lot of time and energy thinking about it before and afterwards and can be distracting from the many other useful things you want to accomplish with your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): you could become romantically attached to the other person
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