A
male
age
30-35,
*rettyboy
writes:Hello I am in a situation which i myself do not know what to do and need some help. I met this girl a couple months ago and we started dating and shes amazing, the thing is her past shes been with alot of guys and alot of them are messed up and i have no clue how they got with her, i think about her and other guys and i keep picturing her in my mind with the other guys and knowing that im the 16th guy she slept with kills me, i really love her and wanna spend the rest of my life with her, shes the first person i had sex with meanwhile im the 16th to her, shes really loyal and say ive changed her right now but it rlly kills me knowing that other guys have pleasured her before and used her and that sort of stuff, also she lives in toronto and i just moved to edmonton with my brother and i work here and were like thousands of miles apart, she said she would move to vancouver with her grandpa jus to be close to me. the question i have for u guys is do u think i should stay with her and forget about her past, even though alot of my friends no about her past and make fun of me for it but i jus seem to ignore itmm i would like to no if maybe i just am really attached to her cuz shes the person i lost my virginity to or do i really love her, i dont no what to do i am 17 years old and she is 16
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her past, lost my virginity Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): This has nothing to do with that your friends(?) are saying and everything to do with what YOU think & feel about it.
If she had moved into town last week and none of your friends knew her but she told you about her past, would you still care?
I suspect you probably still would. But either way this is how you gotta to decide where you stand about it.
A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 My first girlfriend wasn't a virgin. She hadn't slept around, but she'd had two years of sex with her previous boyfriend. I was totally and completely devastated, and I don't think I really forgave her for it.All I can say now is that I was a totally immature little s___. Knowing what I know now, it's pretty clear that two years of sex hadn't done much for her. Had I been a bit more forceful about things (not aggressive, just more confident in myself and less sorry for myself), I would have realised that I could have left her boyfriend in the dust. Instead, I nursed my wounds and failed to forgive her. I hurt both of us by my immature attitude.All I can say is, Don't worry about it! You're still young. There are a lot of things that can happen in life yet. If you stay together, those 15 guys will look more and more insignificant as time goes on.
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A
male
reader, gayuncleandy  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Don't worry. Chalk this one up to experience. The experience of the fact that no matter what people say about others, it is about how YOU experience them that matters, and what you think that matters to them. That said, you are young and this long distance won't last for long, don't leave her hanging, but let her know how much you think of her. Things will go from there. Don't be afraid of discussing it with her. She probably wants to more than you. It will bring you closer and if you don't it will drive you apart. Have fun. This is about learning as boring as that sounds. Love is bigger than gossip, but rarely survives over oceans.
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A
female
reader, Susan Strict  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Whether you stay with her or not is a decision entirely for you and for her. Most importantly, DON'T let anything your friends say put you off her - and, equally, don't be with her just because you want to prove them wrong.
Your relationship with her should be based on what she is now and what she does now, not on what she has done in the past. If you can really love her and she can really love you, then that's all there is to it. Nothing else matters.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Hunny
Everyone deserves a chance, She may have felt really insecure and needed love and sometimes hunny the only way to feel loved is sex as the lads that she has been with would not have just given her a hug if she needed it..If you care about her and she cares about you she is probably wishing her past would disapear now as she has found a decent b/f and all the others were after one thing sweetheart and if you have been used it can make you feel pretty horrible and not worth much expecially if you have low self esteem..Dont let others make fun of her, If you want to be with her then go for it love and take her for the amazing young woman you see...TAKE CARE WITH LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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