A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had been dating my boyfriend for 7 months im a virgin and he is not. I have done stuff with him eg oral and jerked him off but not sex. He is getting bored. He says he wants to be inside me and cum inside me and stuff but i dont really want to. Anyway i was round his house yesterday in his room kissing and cuddling like we normally do. then he to off his pants and boxers and rolled up my skirt and took my knickers off i told him to stop and to get off me i started to scream as he almost had is penis in my vagina (sorry for being so graphic) i told him to stop and after 5 mins of me begging he got off me. He shouted at me telling what a tease i am and how i shouldnt wear skirts or kiss him on the bed if im not going to have sex with him. He called me a slut and said i was asking for it. I ran out and went home he came round later on saying how sorry he was and that he didnt mean it. And then he was like it was good wasnt it and said he knew he could have me anytime it was only a matter of time. What does he mean? Is he going to try this again? He scared me so much i thought he was going to rape me! im not ready yet i want to wait abit. WHAT SHOULD I DO? plz help sorry for it being so long :( im really confused btw he is 4 years old than me and very experienced he says he loves me but does he really?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, advicegalx +, writes (4 January 2009):
You love him and this can be very painfull for you but he his fantisy is going to get stronger and that means nexts time he is going to succed and then the next time might be rape ! there are easier ways then going to the police station in person you can go on the thinkyouknow.com and you can report abuse but make your story very clear give them his name address and telephone number or you can even get a friend to phone the police up for you! but babe i can honestly say this need to be sorted and sorted now ! Don't break up with him go to the police first because i am worrried if he will go physco as soon as you break up with him so go to the police first then tell them everything !!
But babe this might sound horrible but He doesnt love you if he did he couldnt do that to you
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): I was in the same situation and still am, he sounds like a tool, and he took advantage of you. How could you not have dumped him right on the spot? From what it sounds, I think he actually might rape you. You need to leave the bastard and find a man that will treat you right. I am sure that there are tons of them out there, just leave him...
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (28 April 2008):
 Hi,
The key here is to stay away from him, chances are next time he will simply rape you.
Try and save yourself from years of shame and guilt and stay the heck away from him. Tell a close friend or a family member that you are worried he might try something.
I've got a feeling this boy will not give up so easily.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Get out of this relationship FAST!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Please, Please dont see this guy again unless it is to dump him! You sound like a sensible girl and that makes me think you know exactly what he wants from you. He will try this again - especially if you forgive him, this could end up being much nastier than it needs to be. Get rid of him and be with someone that respects your wishes. x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Get away from him, he's basically threatening to try it again- and it sounds like he will until he wears you down and you give in to him or he loses his temper and forcibly rapes you. That is not how you want your first time. And that is not how someone who loves you treats you- my boyfriend is a lot older than me, has slept with women before, and I am a virgin and I wanted to wait, and he loves me so he was happy to wait. You can be close by doing other things, like you have been, and a real man will find it such a turn on that he won't try and force you to do things you're not ready for. Stay strong, and stand up for yourself. Tell a friend, aunt, your mum- someone!
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A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot +, writes (27 April 2008):
 No honey, he really doesn't love you. He just wants to get into your pants and use you.
The way he treated you and talked to you is just horrible. Never allow anyone to treat you like that. That isn't love at all. Please dump him. He is way too old for you as men that age mostly want sex all the time.
If you are afraid, tell your parents or another trusted adult.
Put yourself first and protect yourself and your body. You don't have to do anything sexual to get a boy to like you.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, deviant81 +, writes (27 April 2008):
with him being older he is going to want sex..its just natural at that age and unfortunately by the sounds of it he cant control it and so you shouldnt put up with it....tell him if he ever tries to do it again you will leave him...and tell him that he has to ask you before you do it just to make sure that you give permission.
if he breaks these rules
hes gone!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Well he sounds like a typical twat in my opinion...Tell him relationships aint about sex, theyre about love. To be honest you sound a lot more mature than this so called 'man of experience', if he ever does something like that again, ditch the lad hun n get someone younger/less experienced/less likely to want to use you.
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A
female
reader, BigSis +, writes (27 April 2008):
 No means no and if he doesn't respect your wishes then he's a good for nothing low life.
You're not ready to hand your virginity over to him and good for you, very sensible, therefore my advice is finish with him now, he's not worth it.
He's frightened you and you need to do something about it,
so do what Waz has suggested and call Rape Crisis now. For your own sake.
You will hear this message over and over again, and get the same advice from all of us, which means we are all right.
Best of luck, hon.
BigSis
xXx
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A
female
reader, pinkfairy +, writes (27 April 2008):
 hello to be honest i have been throught the same thing as you and what i didnt do was got to the police you on the other hand can go to the police if u dnt he will do it to more and he he acts like tht and wont wait untill yur ready thn no he dnt love u and all tht teasein it crap hes only makein it look like its yur fault and its not if yur not ready then get out why u can AND GO 2 THE POLICE I MEANS THAT DNT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID :) xxx pinky
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A
female
reader, daisydaresyou +, writes (27 April 2008):
I'm sorry but he doesn't love you. Can you imagine doing that to someone you love, making them feel like you did?
He sounds like he is threatening to rape you. You should never have to beg someone to stop. It's awful, and you did nothing wrong and are not any of the things he said you were.
You should report him. If you can't do that, at least leave him. You shouldn't be alone with him again cuz he might not stop next time.
I hope you find the courage to walk away from him.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (27 April 2008):
 Darling!!! What he done was totally inforgivable, and needs to be reported to the police for attempted rape. He will do it again and will probably succeed, he has no respect or morals and THIS ANIMAL SHOULD BE LOCKED UP. He is a would be rapist and will do it to other girls if he is not reported. Take care my love and I will pray for you that you are safe and away from this nasty pondlife. Dusky xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
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A
male
reader, gayuncleandy  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 He does not love you I am sorry to say. Stop the relationship now and start out how you were living before you met him, spending time with female friends and family. You will regret it if you let him go further, and he will if you keep on behaving together the way you are. If he loves you he can wait until you are ready, even a very ling time. And I have a feeling you know he wont. Stop it now before it goes too far. Believe me, he will move on much quicker than you will, and I think you have seen that already.
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