A
male
age
,
*omer Simpson
writes:I'm gay and in my mid-forties. I have been single for over 10 years, and I'm getting lonely. Because of my career I am socially closeted, which doesn't help. I don't have much of a social life, and as a result am slightly socially crippled and uncomfortable, and I'm not obviously gay, so people don't know unless I tell them, and I don't know what to do. I want to meet someone. There aren't any bars or anything like that in my area. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, mikey_m  +, writes (14 May 2008):
If you're not happy, why not move to a big city? There's heaps more gays here!
A
male
reader, gayuncleandy  +, writes (27 April 2008):
 If it is that important, then put yourself in situations where you do not have to be closeted. Take more risks, because the way you are going now is not working. Have less interest in your life as a so called not-gay man and more interest in being an available gay man and watch the interest soar. You are making yourself ineligible by being in the closet. Get out and get yourself a man, you are not prime anything to the men you desire without being truthful about who you are. If you can't do that where you are then find somewhere where you can.
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A
male
reader, Homer Simpson +, writes (26 April 2008):
Homer Simpson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for that sensible advice. I have tried the internet a few times and some of the guys you meet on there were not exactly prime rib, but I think you're right, maybe I should just keep plugging away at that. I'm no Michelangelo but I'm not unattractive or unkempt, and I don't have any deep character flaws, so I always thought I was at least a bit of a catch, ha. I do get attention and offers from women around me, but of course that's not what I'm seeking, nice as it is to know I'm not completely out of the game. Thanks, I'm going to give it another shot and hope for a non troglodyte.
Ewww, the internet, sounds desperate! Well, I suppose I am a bit. I will make every effort to conceal the fact, lol.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): OOps I didnt see the gay bit...hehe!!! sorry. Just change the womeny bits into man bits.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): You could try internet dating. I think men can get quite a lot out of it if you find the right site. My advice would be to choose women who are not more than a 50 mile drive away. Avoid married women at all costs. Beware of money scammers (women who give you a big old sob story when they first meet you) Don't rush in too quickly and always make your intentions know from the start, if you want just a fling or full on affair, a woman needs to know whats on offer.
Its a good way of talking with women and getting to know their situation, their likes and dislikes before you decide on a face to face meet. Make a list of what you want from a decent woman and try not to get too fixated over looks as there is many a fine good woman over a size 16 and over the age of 35. Be open friendly COMPLETELY HONEST!!!!...and I say again completely honest about what your looking for and I am sure it won't be long before you can set up a few dates. Even shy guys get a look in.
Also if you feel socially inept, try getting a few self help books for a few tips.
Women tend to prefer men who are smart about their appearance (despite their looks)
men who are warm and friendly and not domineering. Men who play a little hard to get and men who arnt afraid to spend a little money to take a woman on a lovely date (a decent woman will of course treat a guy to the same at a later stage).
Good luck with it and keep us posted
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