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... Send *abiLC a private message | | | *abiLC's profile:What qualifies me to give advice? Well, I studied psychology for two years, and now I am a Biology major with a pre-med concentration and double minor of chemistry and gender studies in college. I give advice twice a week on teen websites and I've had an advice column.
My advice motto is, 'take it or leave it.' I believe that not all advice will help or fit a person's certain situation perfectly. It is up to the person receiving the advice to decide whether or not they wish to use that information to help themselves. Advice is just someone else's opinion.
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I'm lost for new friends
Q. Lately at school I have sometimes been feeling isolated by my friends. It's not all the time, but some days I feel like they don't want to be around me or just find everything I do annoying or stupid, even if they do similar things. They might give ...
A. 17 June 2009: Have you tried asking them what their problem is?... (read in full...)
Should I terminate this pregnancy?
Q. right so im pregnant and I want to keep it as i belive that we have been stupid enough to get ourselves into this mess no will we have to live with the consiquences, however my boyfriend says that were are too young (were 20)) that hes in army and ...
A. 17 June 2009: This is a followup answer: I believe that, deep down, you want to keep your baby. He doesn't really love you if he hates a part of you, sweetie. You can raise your baby on your own or wait for another caring guy to come into your life. There are ... (read in full...)
Why am I so upset about him getting married?
Q. I hv been working in this company from past 7 years. I have a very good bond with my boss who is going to marry soon with his girlfriend. My boss and I share a very clean and sincere but friendly relation. He (along with his family) likes my work ...
A. 17 June 2009: You have been the leading lady in your boss's life for years. You have helped him build his company and you take pride in that. Now, you feel threatened. There is a new leading lady and you have been pushed aside without any formal recognition. You ... (read in full...)
Should I terminate this pregnancy?
Q. right so im pregnant and I want to keep it as i belive that we have been stupid enough to get ourselves into this mess no will we have to live with the consiquences, however my boyfriend says that were are too young (were 20)) that hes in army and ...
A. 17 June 2009: First of all, your boyfriend does not have control over you in the way that you think he does. You control what you do and how you do it. Secondly, he is not going to hate you when you keep your baby; he can't. When he sees the baby for the first ... (read in full...)
I'm lost for new friends
Q. Lately at school I have sometimes been feeling isolated by my friends. It's not all the time, but some days I feel like they don't want to be around me or just find everything I do annoying or stupid, even if they do similar things. They might give ...
A. 17 June 2009: Are you the type of person who wants, or who has in the past wanted, to hang out with these friends all of the time (24/7)? If you are, this could be your problem. Some people get tired of having to hang around the same people all day, everyday. ... (read in full...)
I love her and want commitment, but she doesn't seem to feel the same
Q. So where to begin...I guess five years back when I met this girl I swore would become my wife...She is from Italy and is very beautiful! She likes to flaunt her ass around and attract other guys attention but denies knowing this! Through the five ...
A. 16 June 2009: It doesn't sound like you love her really. Loving her comes with loving her attitude, faults, and flaws. It sounds like you love the sex more than anything. I would suggest that you move on. You don't seem like you want your life to continue on the ... (read in full...)
I just wanted fun with her, now she loves me...and she has a boyfriend!
Q. im 24... not sure if im bi. i love men, but occasionally would have "fun" with women. i dont wish to label myself. a year ago i got to know this woman at a birthday bash, let's call her gwen, she's the gf of one of my male friend.. she's n...
A. 16 June 2009: Yes, you are in the wrong. You should have made it clear early on that you intended it to be strictly a FWB type of relationship. But you can't go back in time. So now, the fact that you miss talking and seeing her is telling me that you have a ... (read in full...)
Was he just looking for a friends with benefits from me?
Q. riight this is quite long and weird. i've been texting this guy we'll call him R well i've been texting R for a few daus he recently found me again on facebook i added him a few years ago on myspace. so anyways we got talking we been texting....
A. 16 June 2009: I believe you hurt his ego. This guy doesn't want to have any relations with a girl who doesn't even feel anything for him; that would make him feel as if he were whoring himself out, even if he doesn't want anything more than but friends with ... (read in full...)
He will not end it but he will not talk about it either! It's very frustrating!
Q. Am I being too hard on my boyfriend. I have known him for 26 years. We have not been together that long but we both had a relationship before we had kids for other people. We got together in 2000 again as if it was unfinished business and now have ...
A. 16 June 2009: This is a followup answer: I think you should wait until he tells you. If it gets closer to the time to leave, tell him. But don't give him time to back out of the teaching deal, which I doubt he would do, but just in case. I hope you have fun!... (read in full...)
What should I say to my crush??
Q. The reason for the following is because I missed out on talking to my crush today all because I was in a rush. But it's kinda okay I guess because I can plan a bit more what to say to him. So this is pretty much a poll of what to say. a) "Hi my...
A. 15 June 2009: This is a second followup answer: Could you leave a note in his locker or one of his books?... (read in full...)
How do you know when the love has died?
Q. How do you know when the love has died? I have been married for 15 years to a wonderful thoughtful loving guy, for 10 of those years. Then because of something that happened 5 years ago in his family, he thinks he was pushed aside, hes fallen out ...
A. 15 June 2009: This is common in alot of marriages. This would be the time he goes through his mid-life crisis. I would suggest marriage counseling for a couple of weeks. If he does agree, you and your girls should not have to suffer on account of him. After you ... (read in full...)
Please help, I feel so depressed and cry all the time. I feel my life is passing me by.
Q. ok first age is wrong im 16... took over my sister's acount and dont know how to change the age! I have been on a roller coaster sense starting high school. I have had friend problems guy problems and of course more. Last december I got to the poi...
A. 15 June 2009: The first thing you need to do is to go back to your doctor. Ask to have your hormone levels checked and to change your depression dosage or the medicine all together. Then you need better friends who do not do harmful things and have goals. You ... (read in full...)
What should I say to my crush??
Q. The reason for the following is because I missed out on talking to my crush today all because I was in a rush. But it's kinda okay I guess because I can plan a bit more what to say to him. So this is pretty much a poll of what to say. a) "Hi my...
A. 15 June 2009: This is a followup answer: You should get his number or try to locate him on a social networking site.... (read in full...)
Can we make this work? What should we do?
Q. My boyfreind and i have known each other for about 8 years. He has always been crazy about me, but i have been married for the past 5 years. I'm now divorced and we are dating. I'm so crazy about him and he feels the same but we have one problem. He ...
A. 15 June 2009: Yes, you can make it work. Have you two looked into having him relocate closer to home where he can work locally? He may also want to ask his boss for more locally-based jobs. I hope this helps.... (read in full...)
Crushes end in disaster driving me constantly nuts
Q. hi there i always get into very strong feelings for my crushes in the end as a disaster when my crushes marry others i get disappointed and i dnt knw why i cant get them out of my mind it s just stck there u knw its like i keep thinking if he is ...
A. 15 June 2009: Yes, you are too obsessive over your crushes, but that's not your biggest problem. Why haven't you approached your crushes to let them know that you like them? Until you do that, your crushes will never know and they will marry someone else. You're ... (read in full...)
Troubles with my boyfriends family....we just need to get away from them!
Q. Hi everyone, i dated this guy in 2005 for a year and a half, he went to America the last six months of our relationship and in that time, his father tried everything to break us up.. i never knew why.. and he got it right.. we broke up for a year ...
A. 15 June 2009: I really understand your situation. I had to go through the same thing also. If your boyfriend really loves you and wants to marry you, he will understand you too. But you can't expect him to leave easily because you're going against the people who ... (read in full...)
I don't want to do something I don't know how to do and look stupid!
Q. I have been getting well with this guy and he sent me a text the other day saying he missed me and was wondering if I could he help relax and de-stress with smilley faces and asked if I had any suggestions. I am thinking he possibly want "oral" how ...
A. 15 June 2009: Yes, that's what he's thinking. But you can turn it around. Tell him "sure". Invite him over, cook a nice lunch or dinner, then give him a massage! Tell him how tired you are and how much work you have to do the next day and send him on his way! I ... (read in full...)
Is he along with others trying to make me jealous?
Q. Well I seriously like my friend's Brother and he knows I think he is cute. Im thinking he likes me too, He stares at me a lot, he laughs at everything I say and he is always shy around me. Only problem is that he has just got a girlfriend, I get the ...
A. 15 June 2009: Your friend and her brother both know that you like him. That's why they look for a reaction to see if you'd give a clue of liking him (because they don't know that you do). I think you should get him alone and tell him how you feel. Tell him that ... (read in full...)
He keeps speaking to his ex. It really hurts
Q. i love my boyfriend but i found out he keeps talking to his old girlfriend even after he promised not to. i dont want to break up with him hes my life but it hurts when hear the stuff he says to her. what should i do?...
A. 15 June 2009: You need to let him know that you know about them talking. Let him know that this is hurting you and is compromising your ability to trust him. He's being secretive and that's not a good thing for a good relationship. I hope this helps.... (read in full...)
I'm 13, Should I wait to have a child with my 17 year old boyfriend?
Q. my boyfriend and i want to have a baby. we are both in our teens (im 13 he is 17) and unsure if we should wait??? please help...
A. 15 June 2009: Yes, you should wait. Have you thought about the pain that your body will be put through during child birth? (at your age, you're probably really small) You do not have the funds to support your child (birth, clothing, food, diapers, medical ... (read in full...)
Been with my boyfriend 2 years but falling for another guy..its like we have a connection!
Q. I'm with my boyfriend for 2 years now. Ups and downs in our relationship but I love him a lot. But now I think I'm falling for a guy whom I've known since we were really young. We happened to reach each other through the internet last year, we ch...
A. 15 June 2009: If you really love your boyfriend and want to remain in a relationship with him, I think you need to evaluate why you're falling or starting to have feelings for this other guy. What does he have that your boyfriend does not? Then you need to ... (read in full...)
No period for 5 months!
Q. Hey, I'm 14 and have not had my period in 5 months, I'm not pregnant and a I'm a healthy weight 5'1 94pnds and I'm not taking any drugs (prescribed or street) Personally, I wouldn't care if I never got my period again, because I turn i...
A. 15 June 2009: Yes, your period can just be THAT irregular. When I was younger, I missed mine for an entire year! I know! But if you don't get it for another month and the cramps persists, talk to your mother and doctor. I hope this helps!... (read in full...)
I'm torn between two lovers....
Q. I really need help. Ive been with my bf for a year and abit. I cheated on him with my best mate from work .I have come to realise that it was a big mistake. I told my mate that i think we should just be friends and nothing more. He has said he ...
A. 15 June 2009: Stay with your boyfriend. Keep your best mate your best mate and nothing more. He is already trying to help you by getting another job. Your best mate says that he loves you, so with that, he should love you enough to understand that you want to ... (read in full...)
Do I like this guy?
Q. Do i like this guy? I have no idea if u have mixed feelings for a guy do u like himm can u still like him?? Theres this guy in my class and we have been friends since grade 3 and my best friend told me a couple of days ago that he thinks im pretty i...
A. 15 June 2009: You say that he's not your type, but the way you describe him, it seems as though he is your type! You should date him. It won't hurt. And besides, sometimes, opposites attract! I hope this helps!... (read in full...)
He will not end it but he will not talk about it either! It's very frustrating!
Q. Am I being too hard on my boyfriend. I have known him for 26 years. We have not been together that long but we both had a relationship before we had kids for other people. We got together in 2000 again as if it was unfinished business and now have ...
A. 15 June 2009: You two sound like a cute couple. You both need to get baby-sitters and go away for the weekend. This is a big topic that you need to discuss. Let him know how you feel. You've known each other for quite some time now, and you've come to that stage ... (read in full...)
Why is he being so mean to me now?
Q. Please help, my husband and I have been married for 6 years and we seperated over a year ago right after we had a baby girl. I have a boy that is 9 from a previous relationship that my husband has raised since he was 2 years old. Neither of us have ...
A. 15 June 2009: I commend you for being such a strong woman. I don't know many people who would take all the hurt and pain that you have taken over the past couple of years. You are absolutely right about the divorce and you should look into child support also. ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that I'm going to like him too much and I'm worried.
Q. I met a guy in Italy on New Year Eve, we kissed and nothing else happened. We met again in February and we kissed again and I spent a few days with him, getting to know each other, hanging out etc. We decided that we'd like to see each other again. ...
A. 15 June 2009: Being physical with someone, especially for a female, is a huge deal. You want to have more than the "fling" that you're having now; you want a relationship. So, what I would advise you to do is to ask him want he wants. If he gives you that same ... (read in full...)
I would love to find a meaningful relationship but it's just not happening...
Q. I guess this is a long one so where to start. I'm 21, I'm Gay, I came out when I was 17 years old and had a fantastic response from everyone I know. As a person I'm not effeminate in anyway, most new people that meet me are shocked to find out that ...
A. 15 June 2009: I understand your situation. Normally, I would advise people to go out and flirt, show yourself. But, in your case, I'm going to tell you to sit back and relax. You say that you're attractive and I believe you. If you believe that you're attractive, ... (read in full...)
What do I do about him as I don't trust him but we have a child together.
Q. HELP! OK so me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 and a half years and we have a baby I'm 16 years old 17 soon he is almost 20. we had some problems he tryed to ask another girl out. he kissed her and was at her school trying to find her...
A. 15 June 2009: I'm going to apologize early for the harshness and reality I'm about to write. Sweetie, you're young and he's much older. That's his nature--- to want to find something more fitting for him. I totally understand why you don't trust him. Hell, I ... (read in full...)
How can I get my BFF to place a restraining order against her lying, cheating, woman beating boyfriend?
Q. okay so my best friend from college called me at 3am crying because of her boyfriend was beating her up.. i had noticed a swollen lip and couple bruces in march.. she game me excuses okay what ev she dont wann tell me what ev... but now she told...
A. 15 June 2009: Because of the length of the relationship, it is going to be hard to make her see your point of leaving him. You need to get her alone, sit her down and look her in the eye and tell her, for the last time, that she needs to leave. Then stand her in ... (read in full...)
The more I see them together the more I hate them both!
Q. okay well im 17 now, when i was 15 i met this guy aged 17 who i really liked, he asked me out and we were together for 6 months, i was madly in love with him! we were 'friends' to everyone, i dunno why we wouldnt admit our relationship. but then one ...
A. 15 June 2009: I understand that you're jealous; it's human nature and you can't help it. But you can help the level of jealously. Sit back and look at this picture. He's 19 years old and she's 14 years old. Do you think that this is going to last forever? Nope. ... (read in full...)
Help! How do I heal my broken heart...?
Q. I'm 17 going to be an 18 year old teenager. I feel stuck in this circumstance of loneliness. For the past couple years I have still trying to get over this guy who left me without a word, as pathetic as it sounds... I was distraught and felt like I ...
A. 15 June 2009: You are not over him because there was never any closure. There was no "goodbye" or "it's over". The only way to start to get over him officially is to say out loud "it's over, (his name) and I'm ready to move on. It's time for us to see other ... (read in full...)
Ideal weight?
Q. what is the ideal weight for a 13 year old boy who's height is 5.8?? thanks for your help....
A. 15 June 2009: The age doesn't matter too much. The height, on the other hand, is very relevant. For a male who is 5 feet and 8 inches, the lowest weight is about 140 pounds. The highest is about 170 pounds. The current average is about 155 pounds. Factors, such ... (read in full...)
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