A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy in Italy on New Year Eve, we kissed and nothing else happened. We met again in February and we kissed again and I spent a few days with him, getting to know each other, hanging out etc. We decided that we'd like to see each other again. I went home(to Ireland) and we kept in weekly contact. He came to visit and spend some time with me in April. We had a fantastic time, we hung out, we did some travelling around together, the physical side of our time was amazing. Towards the end of our time together, we spoke about what next. He said he felt that we should say 'Let's just see what happens, you never know what might happen'. I was patient, I accepted that. He went home to Italy. We kept in contact and we have arranged to go on holidays together and spend more time together in August.I can't wait, I don't want this to just be about a physical relationship, I'm afraid that i'm going to like him too much and I'm worried.. what after August? Do I just wait and see what happens??
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): Don't be afraid dear, nothing bad has happened so don't bring bad thoughts into this now, don't let it rush you or force you to put pressure on the situation.
If you go with him in August and you feel like you want more than talk it over with him there in person to the end of the holidays. Explain how you feel and ask him how he feels. Express that you would like more and try to be calm and collective about it. Talk the way u two have been :) If he wants more as well then go for it. IF he doesn't then its up to u to decide to stay with him longer or give up.
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, GabiLC  +, writes (15 June 2009):
 Being physical with someone, especially for a female, is a huge deal. You want to have more than the "fling" that you're having now; you want a relationship. So, what I would advise you to do is to ask him want he wants. If he gives you that same line, you will know he just wants sex---as nice as he's been. Based on your preferences, you can decide if that's all you want from him or not. Maybe it can work for you--- sex with him on occasions and a relationship in Ireland. Just let both parties know what the deal is. I hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): All you can do is really wait and see what happens. You aren't being used or anything since he's made no promises and he's not your boyfriend yet. You live in seperate countries and he's probably dating other girls and you should be dating other guys in the meantime. It will come down to how he sees LDRs and if he even wants to commit to one, most guys don't. Unless one of you moves then where can it really go? I say enjoy the time you have with him but don't take it too seriously yet. If your afraid your going to like him too much then definitely don't put all your focus on him and spread it around alittle by seeing other people.
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A
male
reader, EllsworthT  +, writes (15 June 2009):
Why knock physical relationships?
Please understand, if women did not have vaginas, men would not talk to them. You can believe anything else you want, but if you acknowledge this truth, maybe you won't be so anxious.
The trick here is to simply enjoy the company of another human being. Are you planning to go on holiday together to get married? NO! Then stop acting like it. Whether your escapade turns into a brief romp, a month of crazy sex and love, or years of bliss, for God's sake, just enjoy the moment. Men are really not that complicated.
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