A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Am I being too hard on my boyfriend. I have known him for 26 years. We have not been together that long but we both had a relationship before we had kids for other people. We got together in 2000 again as if it was unfinished business and now have a child togehter.We are both very attractive and sexy. He is 6 years older than me. Our son is 6. We are both very independent and have our own careers but do not live together.I started to go off him as e wont commit. He is very secretative as well which I do not feel is a good basis for a relationship.We have now not been intimate for over a year. I dont know if he is seeing anyone else. I have been flirting but with out the guy knowing as it is a friend of him. I have a big crush on him and this guy can feel it but has not done anything about it.Over the week end I went to my hairdressers and the hairdresser was telling me what my boyfriends plans were for the summer. I felt so embarassed that I did not know. This is the second tme he has made me feel embarassed. I do not go to the hairdresser and brag about him as I am not happy in the relationship and I told her that.I felt like I really wanted to use her as a go between as someone needs to knock our heads togehter. He has been a god father to all my children but I feel neglected and unloved.He has hinted that he would like to stay the night but that is the last thing I feel like at the moment. I would rather a week end away and spend sometime communicating.Any suggestions as I do not feel he wants to end it but he just will not talk to me and it is very frustrating.
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female
reader, GabiLC +, writes (16 June 2009):
This is a followup answer: I think you should wait until he tells you. If it gets closer to the time to leave, tell him. But don't give him time to back out of the teaching deal, which I doubt he would do, but just in case. I hope you have fun!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSince I wrote this, I have now found out what he is doing over the summer - teaching in a developing country. I have also applied and have been told I can take the children. It would be a good break for me and the children.
Do you think I should tell him so we can link there or shall I want until he tells me first.
I hate the way he plays games with me.
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom +, writes (15 June 2009):
talk to him make him listen to you and after all do what is best for your child if that means fixing your relation ship than so be it
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A
female
reader, GabiLC +, writes (15 June 2009):
You two sound like a cute couple. You both need to get baby-sitters and go away for the weekend. This is a big topic that you need to discuss. Let him know how you feel. You've known each other for quite some time now, and you've come to that stage where it's time to make some major moves, like living arrangements. You have a child involved and that should be the glue that binds you two. And let me tell you another thing, no grown man can go without sex for an entire year; it's just not going to happen. Being secretive, yes, is not good in a relationship. That should be another point you make. Since he has trouble talking and expressing himself, which is common among many men, take things slow. If you rush these topics upon him, he will feel threatened. I hope this helps!
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