A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:How do you know when the love has died? I have been married for 15 years to a wonderful thoughtful loving guy, for 10 of those years. Then because of something that happened 5 years ago in his family, he thinks he was pushed aside, hes fallen out with most of his family. I've managed to get him to make up with some of them, but he still holds a strong grudge against most of them, and his ex. I had an 8 year old daughterthat i brought into the relationship, she also has a daughter. He doesn't like me meeting up with my daughter and grandaughter unless he is with us. He says we are joined at the hip. We only see each other in the day because i take my grandaughter to school. He walks around on the landing at night naked while they are in the house. I don't realyy stand up for myself because he ignores me for up to three days. (as he saya till I've suffered enough.) Everything came to a head a couple of weeks ago, I stood up for myself and left for i night and stopped at my daughters. He went ballistic saying he wanted a divorce. so I left again for 4 days. which made him realise he was in the wrong about everything. We have made an appointment to go to relate,although he didn't want to.He begged me to come back to the house cos he loved me so much, so I went back and i'm in the spare bedroom. B ut i feel numb inside towards him, is this temporary or is this the end. Where have my feelings gone somethings changed.
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female
reader, LOML  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Talk to him about how you feel and try seeking help and if he's willing to meet you half way then try and stick it out you guys have been together 4 a very long time I don't think its gonna be that easy for either one of you to just get up in leave one another
I wish you guys the best of luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): People change and it sounds like you nice guy turned into a total control jerk. You bent until you broke - move on to find the love of your life.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (16 June 2009):
 It sounds like there is a breakdown in communication.
When a couple first get together or are first married, they have no problem sharing their feelings with one another. This could be joys, angers, troubles, concerns or anything else that comes up. However, some people over time, and most of the time without realizing it, withdraw somewhat and begin holding things inside which causes us to exibit odd behaviors in some cases.
You and he need to be talking more and listening to each other. I have found that this can and in many cases does bring a couple back together.
It does take work on both parts, not from just one or the other. If this cannot be done maybe it will take something more drastic like marriage counceling. Much success. Doc
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Yes, maybe marraiage counseling.
If love is true and right, then how can it really die? Peoples' sparks die all the time, but love is not something that just gpes away, as it's supposed to be unconditional and permanent.
I don't think you should give up quite yet. Try try try.
~SY.
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A
female
reader, GabiLC +, writes (15 June 2009):
 This is common in alot of marriages. This would be the time he goes through his mid-life crisis. I would suggest marriage counseling for a couple of weeks. If he does agree, you and your girls should not have to suffer on account of him. After you tell him how you feel, it may be time to move on in your life. I hope this helps.
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