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Why am I so upset about him getting married?

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Question - (17 June 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 17 June 2009)
A female India age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I hv been working in this company from past 7 years. I have a very good bond with my boss who is going to marry soon with his girlfriend. My boss and I share a very clean and sincere but friendly relation. He (along with his family) likes my work and trust me the most in the office. I have been helping him in his work and working for the office without getting appropriate remuneration, which he agrees and appreciates. But now I do not know why I m feeling so sick after hearing his marriage news through a common source. He himself has not shared this with me, not even a hint. I do not know how to respond when I got to know it officially.And why I m getting so upset on this. How to overcome this feeling?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009):

i think by him not telling you personally he makes it clear that his personal life is just that, personal. maybe i am wrong but he has set definate boundaries. it also indicates that you hare just his prized employee and that it is only a professional relationship.

for 7 yrs you have given this job your all. maybe its time to also get a personal life. something/ someone else to occupy your thoughts and day dreams. i don't think you are in love with this man but i think that perhaps you are hurt he did not trust you with this info. i also think this news just cemented your place in his life - just as his employee. you need to deal with these emotions and move on. you have given this man 7 good yrs and i think you expected more from him - i.e him telling you himself.

if deep down you have any romantic feelings for him ( i am hoping not) then you need to wean yourself off him. things will change soon and i think your emotions also need to change. wives prefer their men to have only working /professional relationships and not over friendly ones.

i take it you are single. then how about prioritising your life right now. people sometimes come into our lives for a season, and if we are lucky a few more. you were lucky to have this friendship with your boss for so long but its time to move on. its like a normal friendship when 2 friends make peace and move into different directions. so slowly shift your focus. upskill yourself and get a better career. oh, and let your hair down and enjoy your life. we have only one life to live, so live it fully, abundantly. go out and seize the moment.

take care.

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A female reader, GabiLC United States +, writes (17 June 2009):

GabiLC agony auntYou have been the leading lady in your boss's life for years. You have helped him build his company and you take pride in that. Now, you feel threatened. There is a new leading lady and you have been pushed aside without any formal recognition. You have to get over this though. He did not propose to you. Treat this situation for what it is--- a working environment where you can be promoted or demoted. You will not be fired because of his marriage, and you have nothing to be afraid of if you keep your work ethnics in line and in check. I hope this helps.

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