Would a memorial tattoo put off a future partner?
Q. Me and my ex mutually agreed that it wasn't working as a couple because we had been friends for over a decade before dating and that felt more like us than the time we'd spent trying to be a couple. After breaking up, we found out she was pregnant ...
A. 21 January 2015: OP, I didn't answer your question about would I find it off-putting. I'll add in my two cents about that and only that, nothing else. Yes I would find it off-putting. I have no problem with tattoos (I personally don't have any, I'm more of a body ... (read in full...)
Wedding gift-giving advice needed for the best man and his girlfriend! What's the etiquette?
Q. I was wondering if anyone can offer some advise over wedding gift-giving protocol? My boyfriend and I have a wedding to go to in a month. It is the marriage of my boyfriend's best friend and he is his best man. I've known his friend for quite...
A. 21 January 2015: Thanks for the advice, it's nice to know that I wasn't alone in thinking the situation seemed strange (and a tad greedy). Since the bachelor party has already taken place my bf has already celebrated once with his friend so we will only attend one ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is ruining our relationship with video games. How do I get him to stop?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 7months, and we are in a long distance relationship. We see each other for 2 weeks a month, so we get to see each other as much as we can. Things were going fine, but he is very addicted to video games, and he's 27 ...
A. 20 January 2015: Oh boy, your question hits very close to home for me and I haven't yet found a great solution. My boyfriend and I have been together for little over 4 years. We have lived together for 2.5 maybe 3 now. And the amount of time spent on video games was ... (read in full...)
Would a memorial tattoo put off a future partner?
Q. Me and my ex mutually agreed that it wasn't working as a couple because we had been friends for over a decade before dating and that felt more like us than the time we'd spent trying to be a couple. After breaking up, we found out she was pregnant ...
A. 20 January 2015: I'm going to be honest, and blunt, and it's not going to sound nice; here we go. You are talking about getting a tattoo in memory of your child that was never brought into the world. And your important question is: Will it put off a future partner... (read in full...)
What is "smothering" and how do you not do it in a relationship?
Q. Hey there My question is divided into 4 parts. I was wondering what actually is smothering your partner? Why it is bad and how to differentiate between smothering and being available for her? Also, I understand that still most women wait on...
A. 20 January 2015: Smothering means that something is overwhelming. It could be anything really, texting too much or too often, being too "touchy-feely" (example: if you are a very physical oriented person; hugging, hand holding, etc. and she isn't that can be ... (read in full...)
How do I pick myself up? I've been through a lot and am facing an operation!
Q. Hi there I have only posted in here once before. But I need help again as i don't know what to do. My last post related to my ex husband and me leaving him. Well I did eventually do that, but now I want him back.....WHAT you must be thinking...
A. 20 January 2015: The break up of a relationship can bring about the same sort of depression and "lost" feelings that the death of a loved one can. I would definitely start by talking with your doctor about the fact that your anti depressants don't seem to be doing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is struggling with depression and it's putting a strain on our relationship!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. For about a week and a half my boyfriend has been experiencing depression. He's lost all motivation to do anything, has lost all interest in things that he was originally interested in and says he's just been ...
A. 20 January 2015: You may not want to hear this but you may have caused him to be depressed for longer than you realize. You say he has been depressed for "about a week and a half", that is not a very long time to be depressed. Ask anyone who lost a loved one, lost ... (read in full...)
Help dealing with mentally ill manipulative abusive in-laws
Q. Dear cupid, I have been married for over 7 years to a wonderful man. Sadly his parents are mentally ill and won't get help. We have distanced ourselves from them by moving across the country. They are emotionally abusive and snarky smart mouths. ...
A. 20 January 2015: You're not alone in dealing with mentally unstable in-laws (in my case it's my biological parents) and I'm sure you can find books on coping and lots of online forums devoted to techniques. It's great that your husband was on board with distancing ... (read in full...)
Do I deserve his crazy behavior towards me?
Q. I've just broken up with my boyfriend, again! I desperately want to know if my behaviour is the problem because everything always seems to end up being my fault and I have to apologise. I was seeing him for just over two years and it's been very ...
A. 19 January 2015: It sounds like you already know the answers that are going to come in and you just need the reassurance. Well here it is; this guy is bad news. He is aggressive, immature, violent, has no sense of personal space, little respect for women (and men he ... (read in full...)
My violent sexual fantasies bother me
Q. [MOD NOTE: OP's title] I have a sort of embarassing problem. Ever since I started discovering sex I tend to have extremely violent fantasies of me dominating men. It's always random, anonymous people, I can't imagine anyone I know there. It's mag...
A. 19 January 2015: First off I would like to say I don't believe you have a psychological problem. It may be a little unsettling to realize that you have, what you believe to be, more wild fantasies than the average person (which you may learn that you're not that far ... (read in full...)
Maybe I am overthinking things!
Q. Hey everyone :) I really need some good advise here.. And tbh you all have given really good ones so far.. So here's my story.. It might be a little lengthy but I hope you'll take the time to read it and hopefully understand me :) I've been with...
A. 11 December 2014: You are pretty young, you and your boyfriend are going through lot's of different emotions right now. School, family, friends, this relationship you have (which I'm guessing the whole relationship thing is relatively new for both of you). It sounds ... (read in full...)
My fiance's ex wife and adult children have been very abusive toward me
Q. My fiance has 3 daughters in early 30s all with huabands and kids. They have been so a abusive verbally to me and finally have begun treating their father the same he has just cut off any contact with them. Now they are accusing me of breaking...
A. 11 December 2014: I'm sorry, you have been thrown into a shark tank and you will probably never be able to have a successful relationship with your step children. What has happened to you is not rare, I have two personal experiences in my own family that are similar. ... (read in full...)
Why did this man make the comment if he didn't mean it?
Q. There's a guy at work who's very loud and doesn't really care about offending people. He's always flirting with me and making vulgar comments so he's not exactly my favourite person. I told him I had a sister and he asked to see what she looked ...
A. 10 December 2014: The guy just sounds like an thoughtless jerk. He probably thought he was being funny (which he wasn't, he probably though he was complimenting your sister but didn't realize he was essentially saying that you weren't as pretty as her. Guys do this ... (read in full...)
I snooped, found something I didn't like about my boyfriend, and now what??? ADVICE please!!
Q. Been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. We currently live together; have been for 2 years. We also have a 1 year old together! The first two years of our relationship was a long distance one. We lived three hours apart and we saw each other f...
A. 10 December 2014: You said this "friendly" advance happened 2 years ago, before you moved in together and before you had a child. It sounds like a case of wishful thinking during your long distance time period. While I'm not saying it was right of him to try to start ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has become so lazy and its driving me crazy!
Q. We have been together for half a year. We agreed that we would get engaged 2 months ago, but he eventually cancelled things because his family was not home at the time. We then rescheduled our engagement to Christmas Eve. We decided 5 months...
A. 4 December 2014: Well I would start my saying, do not get engaged. You have discovered a major personality flaw with him and I would be careful about committing to a marriage. I do not know how old your boyfriend is, is he a student? Does he even have a job still ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be pushy but I want my boyfriend to stop smoking!
Q. When I started dating my boyfriend, I knew he smoked in the past but had quit. Now, he has started smoking again. I lost my uncle to smoking so I am not ok with smoking at all. Plus it smells! He doesn't go through a pack a day or anything, but it ...
A. 4 December 2014: As a past smoker myself I can honestly say the desire to quit has to come from him, he has to want to quit. You won't be able to make him stop. Now that being said I would think that over time you can help him reach that point. Firstly, if he is not ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refuses to talk about possible bachelor party
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 5 or 6 years,only living together for about 3 or 3 1/2.In 2011, I gave birth to our one and only daughter. His brother got engaged a while back,maybe last year?! My boyfriend wanted/wants to give him ...
A. 4 December 2014: You may say you don't, but you do have some trust issues here. You aren't comfortable with your boyfriend being around strippers, which if you really do trust him then you wouldn't have any doubts about him being at a club (especially since you said ... (read in full...)
Has your fiance or significant other ever said to you that they appreciate your 'sexual favors?'
Q. My fiancé use to have a friend with benefits. I often wonder what he did in exchange for her when they had sex. Did he buy her gifts or give her money for sex. She wanted a FWB relationship. He wanted more than that from a relationship. I go...
A. 2 December 2014: You're the best judge of his presentation, did it sound like a poorly worded joke? I know my boyfriend (of 4 yrs) will occasionally make similar tasteless jokes in private but he knows when he's crossed the line. I've even once got a check from him ... (read in full...)
Why am I so mismatched with men sexually?!
Q. I'm looking for some sexual advice cupids, from both men and women if possible. I am a 29 year old woman and I've had six sexual partners, but I've always had the same problem - I don't really like the feeling of sexual intercourse. How...
A. 2 December 2014: You are definitely not alone. All sorts of women have positions that work and positions that don't. For instance missionary doesn't work for me at all. I have a few of my own sexual dysfunctions, I have a hard time getting off without a decent ... (read in full...)
Talk me down! Hair salon appointment tomorrow!
Q. This may seem like the dumbest question ever, but tomorrow I'm going to the hair salon. I absolutely hate going to the hair salon, but I don't have time to style my hair for a wedding that I have to go to. The reason why I hate going is because...
A. 2 December 2014: I really wish I had seen your post yesterday. I get nervous going to a salon too; I am terrible at making conversation and at some point I always say something nerdy that causes an awkward silence. I also constantly get asked if I want to get my ... (read in full...)
I am so unhappy and am losing who I am in this marriage
Q. I have been married 28 years and am 51 years old and lhave helped get my husband thru 2 bouts of leukemia. It seems that his needs always have come first and since his illness it has gotten worse. You would think he was. 2 year old that couldn't ...
A. 2 December 2014: It sounds like you are dealing with many different problems that have added together. Caring for your ill husband, your husband having a difficult personality (this could be a completely separate issue from the cancer or it could be related to the ... (read in full...)
I want to show her I care
Q. Basically Ive known this girl for about 3 years now, we first made out on a night out and we have been taking on and off for a couple years now. Everytime we're on a night out together I always go back to hers because we live near eachother. March ...
A. 2 December 2014: Well I'm not entirely clear if "going back to hers" is your way of saying you just spend the night, you make out, or you have sex. Either way this girl has maintained a persistent off and on connection with you for 3 years. I would bet it's safe to ... (read in full...)
Does herpes rule out a successful relationship?
Q. I've just been diagnosed with herpes. I'm aware that the presence of this virus in my body is going to complicate my dating life greatly, but is it still possible for me to have a successful relationship with someone? Also, what's the best way of ...
A. 2 December 2014: I would like to tell you that your herpes will not impact your ability to have a healthy relationship in the future. It will take effort on your part, and there will be some embarrassing moments, but you will be okay. My father has herpes, he got it ... (read in full...)
I'm hesitant about approaching girls. How do I build the confidence to talk to girls?
Q. I have found I have no drive to approach girls. I am 23 and never had a gf or been with a girl. I complain and get upset about it but I have no drive to really DO anything about it and I don't know why. The saying goes: if you really care abou...
A. 27 October 2014: As a 23 year old girl I guess I would start with figuring out why you don't really have a desire to talk to girls. There could be lots of reasons, do you have a job where you spend a lot of time around annoying women? I am a girl and honestly... (read in full...)
Does it mean anything that my boyfriend's family still have photos of his ex in their home?
Q. I stayed with my boyfriend at his parents place recently. We have been living together along with another couple for a year and together for two years. I went to put some clothes away in a drawer for him and found a photo of him with his ex girlf...
A. 27 October 2014: Probably no big deal. You found 2 pictures total and only the one in the sisters room (who is actively friends with her I'm assuming) was on display. I don't know why there was a photo in the dresser, was there anyone else in the photo besides your ... (read in full...)
How can I communicate a problem with my boyfriend without coming across moany?
Q. Hi all, first of all thank you for taking time to read my query! sorry if this is long a bit of a back story is needed ive been with my boyfriend 5 years we dont live together or anything like that and we both love how our relationship ...
A. 27 October 2014: You and your boyfriend have been together a long time, y'all have grown older together, transitioned from students to working adults, and are still growing and changing. This is just another part of that growing and changing process. Most people h... (read in full...)
I feel I may have a mental block when it comes to sex, should I go for it anyway and hope it goes away?
Q. Okay, basically I have come to the conclusion I am mentally unable to have sex or have a relationship. This may sound really strange and I do not have a reason as to why this has happened. But for the last year and a half, I have found myself una...
A. 27 October 2014: I don't think this is just nerves. I have a family friend living with Bipolar disorder, she is happily married with a child and managing her condition quite well so I believe you have just as much chance of being in a fulfilling relation... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to try a position I don't and won't take no for an answer!
Q. *contains sexual content* hey there aunts and uncles, Ok so im in a happy loving relationship me andy partner are very sexually experimental .. outdoors .. toys .. role play ... dress up .. he has had 2 previous partners one at age 14 an...
A. 27 October 2014: You're still pretty young and exploring your own sexual needs so it's understandable that you want to try everything but it sound to me like you have a boyfriend that has found a girl (his 3rd) that is willing to cater to any of his sexual desires. ... (read in full...)
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