A
female
age
41-50,
*mb77
writes:Hi thereI have only posted in here once before. But I need help again as i don't know what to do. My last post related to my ex husband and me leaving him. Well I did eventually do that, but now I want him back.....WHAT you must be thinking. I know I know, I am just as confused.I left him back in September now, so its been over 4 months. However its left me even more depressed that I was, I am really really low at the moment. He kept asking me to go back and I kept on saying no as he had hurt me, not really give me any respect etc etc. Then it was my birthday just after new year, I went out with friends and I have not dated anyone or even kissed another man for a long time. But at the end of the night, one of the doorman in this bar we were in offered to take me home rather than getting a taxi, so I was really quite drunk at this point, but anyway he ended up dumping me in the middle of town about half an hour drive away from my home. I was gutted, it was because I didn't want to do anything with him....This got me down and upset for a while. Then I saw my ex the day after and this is when he told me he was seeing someone, as if my day couldn't get any worse. Even though I left him, I was devastated. As he still wanted (Wants to see me etc)I also have an op on the 2nd Feb that I am worried about. As it may result in me having a hysterectomy.They won't know until I get to theatre. My point it, that both of the above situations have opened up my eyes alot and have realized that when we were back together I really didn't treat him very nice at all. Its not all my fault, we are both to blame. But I neglected him for various reasons. I have realized what kind of person I was and I will never forgive myself for that.I can't let go of him, and I don't really want to, he can't let go of me either. I hate the thought of him being with someone else and having fun. My depression is very severe at the moment and I am really struggling to pick myself up. |I don't want to get up in the mornings for work. I just lie on my bed at home not doing anything. That's not me....I am on anti depressants, which I never wanted. I don't know what to do.Any kind of advice would be appreciated. I am really struggling at the moment :-(
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female
reader, Delirium  +, writes (20 January 2015):
 The break up of a relationship can bring about the same sort of depression and "lost" feelings that the death of a loved one can. I would definitely start by talking with your doctor about the fact that your anti depressants don't seem to be doing much. While I know nothing about what you have been prescribed please verify that the dose and drug are correct since the wrong type or quantity can make things worse. That aside, I'm not surprised that you are thinking about getting back with your ex, the olden days are always better right. You are starting a new and difficult part of your life, as a single person. It's strange, it's unfamiliar, it's not what you expected so you are reaching back to what you know, what you were comfortable with. You're unhappy that he is moving on with his life but your life isn't turning out like you'd hoped. Well going back to him would probably make you happier, for a little while, but it probably wouldn't last. My suggestion would be to accept the way your life is now and move forward. Find a support group, maybe church or something through the hospital would provide you with a comforting support group. Use what you have learned about yourself to make your future relations better.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2015): Get treatment for the depression is all I really can advise you to do. Just "leaving" is not the same as a divorce. We offer you advice, we can't tell you what to do. If you go back to the same conditions that brought you to this site; perhaps you enjoy receiving sympathy. You have it.
Please get treatment to help you cope.
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