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... Send *orpusDei a private message | | | *orpusDei's profile:I'm 30, a self-made oil, rail and steel tycoon whose combined income makes Bill Gates cry like a little bitch. I look like Johnny Depp, Christian Slater, or Brad Pitt, depending on which chatroom I'm in. I have a 19" prehensile penis that I use to hold my coffee while I type. I know where Jimmy Hoffa lives, and I understand the language of cats. I help old ladies cross the street and translate ethnic slurs for cuban refugees in my spare time. I sleep only one hour a night. I make ice cubes with the power of my mind. I can touch MC Hammer. I know every rivet in the Russian T-34 tank. I've advised Presidents, slept with movie stars, and can organize my sock drawer in less than 23 seconds. That's me. Yep. |
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It's strong smelling. Is it squirting? Do I need to see a doctor?
Q. Dear aunts, im 16, 17 in 19 days, legal age and i do feel ready, but my boyfriend and I have decided to wait till his 18th till we try anything, we're both virgins too. But my problem is, since we both havnt done anything before ive been exploring ...
A. 7 August 2008: First of all, you are who you are. There's no changing that. What you're discovering with your body is a part of who you are, and who you will always be as a sexual person. A smaller percentage of women do "squirt", or have what is more ... (read in full...)
How did you proposed or were proposed to?
Q. I kno there's a lot of married people on dear cupid. So I want to know how did your husband propose to u or guys did your wife ask u. Just curious...
A. 22 May 2008: I took the day off work one day and suprised her at home. I gave her a rose. Wrapped around the stem and secured by the engagement wring was a note written in crayon - "Will you marry me - Check yes or no". She's still got that note in her drawer. ... (read in full...)
I'm panicking because I'm 3 days late!
Q. I am in an absolute panic. My period is 3 days late, I had protected sex (my partner wore a condom) but I keep going into a panic that it may have broken. I'm 21, and I have just started jogging for an hour a day (which I did not do before) could...
A. 20 May 2008: Both stress and the introduction of heavy exercise can throw your period off, for some women very easily. However, if you don't get it within a few days, you'll want to go ahead and get a pregnancy test just to make sure. Most home tests are ... (read in full...)
Is this leading to infidelity?
Q. My girlfriend had a friends with benifits relationship with a man her senior year of college. They had been friends since high school. After college they went their seperate way, and only "met up" occasionally. Well her so called friend, had a ...
A. 16 May 2008: If he's contacting your girlfriend to have an affair with him, then he obviously has no qualms about cheating on his wife. I have very little doubt that he would have any respect for the relationship between your girlfriend and you. I have no ... (read in full...)
Why can't I orgasm during sex?
Q. The sex with my boyfriend feels great, but I've never orgasmed during sex before. I want to know how it feels like, but I can't do it. I'm not sure what's wrong. Does anyone have any ideas?...
A. 15 May 2008: First off, there's likely nothing wrong - being unable to reach orgasm strictly through intercourse is a fairly common complaint for women in your age range. As for what you can do about it, well, it's time for a bit of a sexual safari.
If yo... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has lied to me about her sexual history! I hate what she's done to herself but she says she's different now?
Q. I know this is not a new topic, I know this has been discussed over, and over... i know that some of you will say get over it, but I don't think I can... Or at least, not always. My problem is that my girl friend has been with more people than...
A. 10 May 2008: My question is - Now that you know all this about her, can you honestly say that she is a different person than she was before you knew this about her past? A person is the sum of their experiences, whether you know about those experiences or not. ... (read in full...)
Can you becoming pregnant if you swallow?
Q. Can you become pregnant if you swallow cum? I was just wondering. Thank you very much....
A. 13 March 2008: No, you cannot become pregnant if you swallow. You can only become pregnant if semen is introduced into your vagina, either through vaginal intercourse or by some other means. However, oral sex does carry the risk of several STD's, just as much as ... (read in full...)
How do I stop boys from making advances at me?
Q. This isn't a major problem, but to me it is, so any advice would be great thankyou. well the thing is, when i'm at school i don't know why but lads feel they can take advantage of me, they touch me everywhere constantly, its not like it's just the ...
A. 13 March 2008: Part of this is going to depend on the nature of the touching going on. To me, it sounds like this is going beyond a hand on the arm or shoulder and is moving into the area of harassment. That needs to stop. If there are a group of guys that are ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and alone. What should I do?
Q. hi, i'm 20 and i've been sleeping with my ex boyfriend, who i love, hoping he would want to go out with me again. i've only just found out i'm pregnant, and told him but he says he doesn't want me or the baby and not to contact him. i unfortunatly...
A. 13 March 2008: It's a scary thing to be alone and pregnant, especially if you can't fall back on family or friends. Get in touch with your local Planned Parenthood office. Google "Planned Parenthood" or call 1-800-230-PLAN and get in touch with one of their ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend feel the need to lie or cover up the fact that he looks at porn when I know he does?
Q. Why does my boyfriend feel the need to lie or cover up the fact that he looks at porn? I was gone for 4 hours one day and when I came home he was gone and I know that I shouldn't do this and it's wrong of me to look at his computer but under hi...
A. 12 March 2008: Chances are that he was simply to embarrassed that you found it to come clean - a lot of guys feel that their spouse/SO would be angry or upset that they look at porn. Due to the lingering puritanical, blue-nosed attitude that still pervades the ... (read in full...)
My heart is broken, what went wrong?
Q. At the moment, I'm feeling so low as I seem to have so many problems and so much stress, and to make it worse I've just split from my boyfriend. I can't express how much I loved him, but somewhere something went wrong, and we couldnt carry on being...
A. 12 March 2008: A hard breakup is a harsh thing to experience. I think I can speak for most of the people here when I say that I've been there too. What will help? Time, primarily. Time to get some distance, to help you sort through all these confused and ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation a turn-off?
Q. is masturabation a turnoff to a girl i do it regularly will it effect my sex life?...
A. 12 March 2008: There is nothing wrong or abnormal with it - most men continue to masturbate even while they're in a stable sexual relationship. As far as it being a turnoff for girls? That's really going to depend on the girl, how her mind works and how she ... (read in full...)
Behaved 'out of character' and now she doubts us
Q. Hi I have been seeing a beautiful caring girl for a year. We love each other and see says i'm kind, caring etc However, recently I lost my temper with her when i was drunk and was verbally abusive. I didn't hit her or anything, just shouted wh...
A. 12 March 2008: That's a difficult one to answer, primarily because we have only your side of the incident. My first reaction is to tell you that alcohol lowers your inhibitions, and you might do things that you would never do while sober. Knowing that, though, ... (read in full...)
Cheating friend.
Q. My friend has been seeing this boy (boy1) for about a year and she has cheated on him a lot of times and now shes seeing one of her ex's (boy2) while boy1's in prison she has also kissed boy2's brother. I don't want to be interfering but she's ...
A. 11 March 2008: You can let her know that her actions bother you as her friend, and that you worry about her, but that's where it should stop. Don't tell her not to do it, if you air your concerns and she doesn't stop - stay out of it. It's not your business, ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant if we used a condom?
Q. okay about two weeks ago me and my BF had sex with a condom but about 2 1/2 weeks later i started getting these real bad pains in my tummy, after we had sex i was supposed to get my period but i missed it that worried me but is that normal? my BF ...
A. 11 March 2008: A big part of it depends on what birth control methods you're using. If you're just using a condom, then chances are low, but there is still a possibility, depending on if the condom was used properly. If you're on an oral contraceptive (the pill) ... (read in full...)
I can't orgasm, is something wrong with me?
Q. I am a 25 year old female, who has never experienced orgasm. Have had sex enough times, to feel 'unable' to orgasm. Have tried many different stimulations, and am relaxed. Currently taking Alesse birth control pill, and have been since 15. I do ...
A. 4 February 2008: First off, there's nothing wrong with you. Being unable to reach orgasm (especially orgasm through intercourse) is a very common complaint with women, although the chances of an orgasm increase the closer you get to your 30's. One of the first ... (read in full...)
What would be the most unpainful position for my virgin girlfriend during sex? Other tips to reduce the hurt?
Q. what would be the most unpainful position, for my girlfriend during sex? if the time comes i really dont want to hert her, what is the best way to make it as painless as possible for her? i would do enything, to keep from hurting her if i...
A. 27 December 2007: Your best bet for the first time is probably going to be missionary. More important than that is to get her as worked up as possible before hand, that will make things a lot easier for her. If she's comfortable with it, spend _plenty_ of time ... (read in full...)
My husband sits at the dinner table playing on his laptop!
Q. I am married to a man who is a computer engineer. He works from home. Today, I told him that it really bothers me when we eat at the dinner table and he has his lap top on. Which means we don't talk and there is no eye contact. I even told him that ...
A. 20 December 2007: First off, you need to understand a computer geeks relationship to his computer. My wife calls mine the "square headed spouse", but it's more than that. For us, a computer is an extension of ourselves, almost an extra limb. It's where we ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but I'm not sure how to prevent pregnancy
Q. I want to have sex but I am scared That I will get Pregnant Btu I really want to have sex so what should I do??...
A. 19 December 2007: Just what frizzylizzy said. Head down to you local Planned Parenthood center (you can find them in the phonebook or call 1-800-230-PLAN for a local US center) or local community health center and get on the pill. While you're there, get some ... (read in full...)
What should I do sexually without actually having sex? 16 and planning to make my couple happy.
Q. hey well the thing is like this, i am 16 years old and i want to make my couple happy, so please show me tips to turn him on or something (: i dont want to have sex right now but i would really appreciate advise on how to play or just make him comf...
A. 19 December 2007: There's a lot that you can do while remaining a technical virgin. For non-penetrative you have oral sex, handjobs/mutual masturbation, sensual massage, grinding (dry humping - do they even call it that anymore?). For added fun, take it to the tub ... (read in full...)
I'm pooing a lot - am I pregnant?
Q. I was Fooling around with my boy friend and i was in my THIN pjs and he was on top of me naked and i think he ejected pre cum but im not sure... later on we had sex with a condom on but this morning i feel sick and im always feeling thirsty and im ...
A. 11 December 2007: Chances are you're not pregnant. Conception can take up to three days from unprotected sex. Unless he's got godzilla sperm with GPS and a homing beacon, it's very unlikely that precum (which does contain sperm) filtered through 1 or 2 layers of ... (read in full...)
I'm new to Sex, but I don't enjoy it. Does it get better?
Q. I have recently began having sex with my boyfriend we were both virgins before hand and waited until we both felt ready. However, I don't seem to enjoy sex. I get turned on during foreplay, but when we actually have sex it doesn't seem to be ...
A. 7 December 2007: For women in the 15 to ~21 age group, the percentage of women able to acieve orgasm during intercourse is very, very small. That percentage starts going up, however, from around 21-25, and starts getting pretty high in the 25-45 age range. If ... (read in full...)
Potential problems deriving from anal sex, apart from std's?
Q. aside from std's what are some of the problems of anal sex? leakage? looser etc...
A. 7 December 2007: It's possible to have rectal perforation or fissures leading to infection, as well as tearing the anus and hemorrhoids. Also possible, but less likely, is damage to the nerves that control the anus, leading to basically incontenance. Bad times, ... (read in full...)
I think I'm being stalked by my psycho ex who tracked me down on a school reunion site!
Q. A friend who asked a question here and got some good advice recommended me to this site. I just started looking around, but I like it. I might just start answering questions myself. Anyway, my request for advice deals with an ex-girlfriend fr...
A. 5 December 2007: Having been in a similar situation myself, I can certainly relate to the frustration, the irritation, and the concern that being on the recieving end of this can cause. The biggest thing you need to understand is that any attention you initiate to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he doesn't enjoy sex... could this cause problems when we're married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and we've started having sex just this year. I was his first, and he's mine. We intend on getting married in 2-3 years... however, he recently told me that he does not enjoy sex. he says he gets phy...
A. 5 December 2007: If he's on any medications, particularly antidepressants, that can affect his sex drive. While a healthy sex life isn't the only thing thing that creates a healthy relationship, the lack of one can seriously hurt. As much as I hate to say it, it's ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend persuaded me to shave "down there" and now maybe it wasn't such a great idea...
Q. Okay my girlfriend wants me to shave, we arent in a stage of sex but she just said she'd rather it be if we get that far. I did what she wanted duh, but well i have red bumps now and its not right, I know I didnt shave right so plz help me figure ...
A. 5 December 2007: Short answer - use a good razor and good shaving gel.
Long answer - The skin around your genital area is very sensitive and if you've never shaved before _will_ get irritated the first few times you shave. To reduce the irritation, use a good raz... (read in full...)
He just used me for sex. How do I get checked out for STD's?
Q. ok so in eary September i randomly ran into a fella i knew fom i wasyounger at a party in my house... we all had the biggest and maddest party ever n it lasted from the fri til the monday, it was amazin as it was just after the biggest dance ...
A. 16 November 2007: As far as the STD's go, you do need to go get checked out. Where you go will depend on how old you are and/or what kind of services you want. If you've already got a gynecologist you may want to check with her for a pelvic exam and to see if she ... (read in full...)
What do other guys do for their women that doesn't require a lot of planning or expense?
Q. Help! My girlfriend's birthday is in two days and I haven't a clue what to do for her! I've spaced out her boyfriend the past two years because I am horrible about dates and special occasions (They always seem overrated in my opinion), but I ...
A. 15 November 2007: In my experience, a great way to get points for doing something for her birthday without having to go all out is to cook her dinner, as trite as it may sound. You don't have to go all out on a big date, you've got a minimum of expense and effort, ... (read in full...)
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