A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have recently began having sex with my boyfriend we were both virgins before hand and waited until we both felt ready. However, I don't seem to enjoy sex. I get turned on during foreplay, but when we actually have sex it doesn't seem to be exciting. Also my boyfriend usually comes after about 5 minutes at the most I'm not sure what the average length of time for men to last is, but this always seems very soon. I love my boyfriend very much and want to have sex with him.I'm beginning to worry that there is something wrong with me? Or does sex get better with time?
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male
reader, CorpusDei +, writes (7 December 2007):
For women in the 15 to ~21 age group, the percentage of women able to acieve orgasm during intercourse is very, very small. That percentage starts going up, however, from around 21-25, and starts getting pretty high in the 25-45 age range. If you're able to achieve an orgasm from masturbation, then you're on the right track.
As far as the right now, you might want to explore different positions or techniques with your partner. Since you were both virgins, there's an entire wonderful world of things to explore and find out (Number one being to train him to give good head. A guy who knows what to do with his tongue is a wonderful, wonderful thing, so I hear). You might want to grab a copy of the Kama Sutra or The Joy of Sex and get some ideas. Just be safe, get on birth control if you're not, and enjoy. Once you and your partner start getting comfortable with yourselves and each other, good times will commence.
A
female
reader, girlwhoneedshelp +, writes (6 December 2007):
Sex does get better with time because over time you learn different things about your bodies. You need to study eachothers body and tell eachother what you like and what you'd like to have done to you. Remember only 25% of women can orgasm during penetrative sex, most women orgasm during foreplay(oral sex) so if you aren't enjoying the full sex as much as you think you should you're just normal! I only orgasm during foreplay but my boyfriend needs more than that and he orgasms during full sex. Everyone is different. I still enjoy the penetrative sex because I love my boyfriend and I love being so close to him. As long as you both are getting what you need out of sex it doesn't matter how it happen or what's done.
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A
male
reader, seph +, writes (6 December 2007):
In short yes. Your boyfriend does not sound like a casanova. Tell him your not enjoying it in a nice way and maybe try something different. First off try some lube, that will help if your not using it already. Tell him to go slow and try different positions.
If he is really crap in the sack, try someone else. I spent a year with my first gf and the sex wasn't very good. When I met my next girlfriend it was amazing! Believe me its about the person not sex itself.
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