A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi, i'm 20 and i've been sleeping with my ex boyfriend, who i love, hoping he would want to go out with me again. i've only just found out i'm pregnant, and told him but he says he doesn't want me or the baby and not to contact him.i unfortunatly don't have any friends as i've lost them due to moving and haven't been able to make any as i have an isolated job. i don't get on with my family and now all of a sudden i feel very alone. i don't see myself keeping the baby, but i feel very upset that i will be going through what lies ahead alone. Can anyone suggest anything i can do to get through this?
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female
reader, Kitty1900 +, writes (14 March 2013):
I'm in a similar situation and I'm dead scared I left uk for my Italian boyfriend move in Italy with him planning this pregnancy and all but now I don't wanna stay with him anymore it's always angry shouts calls me names sometimes drink more then he should and after all he says he's sorry that he loves me more then anything everythig was perfect but now I have nothing to offer to my little baby, I don't have a job a house what can I do I am 28 years old been always scared I'll chose the wrong father and I have....what should I do next???
A
female
reader, Caramel89  +, writes (8 August 2009):
Well I am in a very similar situation too.I am about 7 weeks.And I slept with my friend.And when I told him about it said that he's not ready for this and how he can't afford it even though he has a house and 2 cars and he makes good money.And I have a house and a car and I make ok pay.So I could tell that he was really afraid.Anyway he said he would pay for an abortion and go down there with me,like he was doing something good.But when I told him that I don't think its right and that I'm not going he said he didn't think we should talk anymore.I still haven't told any of my family members though.I feel alone too.However, I don't think I could ever forgive myself for killing an innocent life.So now I 'm just trying to make the best of it.I am also trying to reconnect spiritualy because I know that will help me.And also once people find out I know they can't hold it against you forever especially when they see your beautiful baby.And after you have the baby you can aply for wic,welfair,food stamps and whatever else you might need.You can get child support from him.But just know that if you have an abortion it would probably scar you for life because it is no easy think to do or forget about.And I know this because I've watched the videos of people talking about how they got it done and I felt there pain.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): hello, i am in a very simular situation. i am 8 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of 4 years wants me to get rid of the baby, he finished with me a few days ago because i said i dont think i can. he says he doesnt want anything to do with me or the baby. i really love him and im so scared that im gonna change my mind because i want him back. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): Hi,
im sorry to hear that. my 2nd marriage has just failed and im pregnant with my fourth child. im alone with no family also.
try and relax, breathe deeply when you feel anxious and give a lot of serious thought to what you really want to do here. the break up or rejection you feel isnt the babies fault. its still a part of you so consider this when you make your decision. im not saying to keep the baby or to have a termination but i think you need to give serious thought to this because your obviously going to feel very hurt and alone. its easy when your scared to make the wrong choice through fear.
call breathing space and speak to one of the counsellors there to unravel your thoughts and feelings. swimming is also a great pass time to help relax you and if you need to cry then cry!!!
there is no right or wrong way to do this but please dont isolate yourself. the busier you are the less alone and afraid you will feel.
i wish you well.
with love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2009): hi how did you get through this ? i found my self in the same situation,im very scared and alone. theres no one i know in this town and want to move back to my home town to be near my family and my friend,but at the moment i feel alone and upset. with no one to turn to. thanks
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A
female
reader, PrincessTee +, writes (1 May 2009):
Hi!I had to reply to your message because your story is IDENTICAL to mine!I am also 20 and im still sleeping with my ex, some days i think he still cares for me but then others i dont so i know how confused you must feel!I think im pregnant but im going to take a test for sure tommoro morning!First and formost you must stop analising anything to do with this guy and put him to the back of your mind! You are carrying a baby!This is the most amazing gift a woman gives the world,You have to start believing i yoursel and your abilitys!You havent mentioned anything about your family but if you can get in touch with them i think you should!Even if you could just talk to one member of your family it could help you to decide what you want to do!Im sure your family will support you!Have you tried speaking to your gp?He might know of a group you could atend with young single mums to be in your area or some comunity counceling!Just believe in yourself!You will be a great mum with some support behind you!Good luck!xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): First of all, You should just think of yourself and the baby! If he doesn't want to do anything with ya, you should get out! Is this your first baby? Is not too late, theres help available out there! Don't you ever think of having abortion!! You will REGRET IT!!! I am pregnant rite now, so, sometimes I do feel lonely when you don't have anyone next to ya but you got to make it work for you and the baby. You need to go see your family. They always support you no matter what situations you in unless your family is really a stuck-up. Are you ready to be a mom? Its a big responsibility. Abortion is against my value so, I hope is not yours!!! Adoption is next so, hope you really sit down and talk to someone, there's is option. Well, I hope you best of luck and stop stressing yourself out cause it only make it worse.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): the best thing you could do is tell your family i too am pregnant and my lowlife of an ex has done a runner.I didnt think i'd cope but after the initial usual parent lecture they've been great and very supportive.You have no need to feel alone tell them you'll be suprised.
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A
female
reader, Angle79  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 Hi sweetie,
You have done what you should have was telling your bf you are pregnant. He is irresponsible person and does not deserve to be the father of you baby.
Its time, talk to your family! I believe they are there for you and they will support you. I do not suggest you abort this baby. Its not the baby's fault. Be strong sweetie!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): iam 20 weeks pregnant id been with my ex for five years but i just found out he been sleepin with someone behind my back he blamed me because of my mood swings said he couldnt handle it anymore iam scared of doing this on my own but at the end of the day iam not alone i got someone inside me who am goin to love more than any man that what keeps me strong and us girls are stronger than we think what doesnt break you only make you stronger everything seems like it fallin apart right now but things can only get better
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A
female
reader, lt45mk +, writes (25 July 2008):
i am 4 months pregnant, and i turned my husband out 4 months ago, reason being he said that the baby was not his,now it has been 4 months on and he now tells me he was only joking.It really hurt me i am disapointed that he would say that to me his wife, this is his 2nd child and we planned this pregnancy. i am really stressing out now because it has been 4 mths im getting bigger every day and i dont have my husband 2 share my happiness with. im now wondering does he have som1 else,thats why he has not tryed harder with me. i think he has found an escape somewhere here.he knows im going 2 be alone and pregnant,while hes out there having fun that hurts me.i only 23 years old and i have always shaped my own future ,but it seems like he has pulled the plug and im drowning. i dont have any friends and my mum is not that helpful. i feel really alone the only person i have is my son.
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female
reader, kndy +, writes (14 July 2008):
Im am in a similar situation where i am 17weeks pregnant and alone. I was with the father for 3 years and last year I gave birth to a stillborn baby at 31 weeks after a difficult pregnancy which showed me I didnt have any real friends at all through depression me and the father spoke and decided to try and again since becoming pregnant I he doesnt want to no he has decided that he made this child with me out of guilt and that he doesnt want it. Bear in mind he had just told me in my 16th week as i havent heard from him from the day i found out i was pregnant. Anyway while he was gone i had been dealing with the grieve of my 1st born and him up and leaving I decided to attend church which hasnt really worked ou well only because walking into church alone just scares me but i joined a self development group to help me change myself or the sake of my child ass i cant bring up a baby depressed who no's what i would do! I am finding it very helpful nothings easy and its taking time as everything worth do does take time, I dont want a quick fix and after eveything i cant just jump back on the saddle because what i have been doing hasnt worked for me so i need to find new ways of dealing with things im doing this for me on the whole because I no i could lose this baby aswell so if you are not going to keep your baby you should do it for youas well. Turn to faith or do a self development course, join a aqua anatel or special pregnancy excercise class that way you get to met women that may be in a similar situ or just find a new way of dealing with things.
Hope i have been helpful
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female
reader, Natalie5835  +, writes (30 June 2008):
Hey, I'm 10 weeks pregnant by my pathetic excuse for an ex too, so dont worry. I kno how you feel. If you don't want to terminate but are not ready for single motherhood, adoption is another option for you. I'm terrified but I am not letting that ruin mine or the babies life, move home and ask your family for their support. you need them now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Hi i too av been abandoned by my babys father. I am nearly two months pregnant and also have a 6 year old (different dad also abandoned me). Please don't abort your baby as its not the babys fault its that cowards fault for not wanting to face up to his responsibilites like the recent dad to this one i am carrying he is blaming me for everything. He is now saying i tried to trap him and that i should of taken the morning after pill blar blar. The point is they are not strong enough to face up to their duty as dads. Trust me you are stronger than you think. Good luck with which ever decision you make. Lori xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2008): Are you still feeling alone? What as happened to you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): These situations are always so hard.
You've got to think hard about the baby. If you're not the right person to be raising this baby then don't do it. This baby is not being brought into the world as a wanted child with two loving parents. I think you should abort the pregnancy if you are willing to pursue that option, or carry the baby to term and look into giving him/her up for adoption if you are not.
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A
female
reader, peaches83 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I can understand exactly what yo are going through hunny.
I was 19 when i fell preganant with my son, although his father was ther for the first 2 months. We had moved out to a place that was away from my friends and family and knew no one, later the father ran off to america and married a girl over there leaving me in a place i didnt know.
Some may say that 20 is a young age to have a child i disagree. When you feel him/her growing inside you, you realise that its something great. Not knowing anyone can be hard because you dont have anyone to talk to but by going through with the pregnancy you could attend antinatle classes and there meet other mums to be etc.
Its a long stressful road i know but it can work out. Not to mention that if you decided to keep the child it doesnt mean that you wont find a partner to spend your life with. Many men want to be with single parents.
I wish you all the best and hope yu make the right desicions.
Peaches xx
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A
male
reader, CorpusDei +, writes (13 March 2008):
 It's a scary thing to be alone and pregnant, especially if you can't fall back on family or friends. Get in touch with your local Planned Parenthood office. Google "Planned Parenthood" or call 1-800-230-PLAN and get in touch with one of their counselors. They'll sit you down and talk you through a lot of stuff and help you try to find your feet and plan what you're going to do from here. They're going to have a lot more experience with what your local options are as well. In the event that they don't have a counselor on site, they should be able to recommend one, either privately or with your community clinic. Hang in there, K?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): This is a hard thing to go through by yourself. Think very carefully about this decision. I know its a very hard one and you feel alone and unable to cope. You don't live in my country, but if you lived here it would not matter that the father doesn't want to support you, it's the law. Probably your area's version of Planned Parenthood could put you in touch with some counseling (although they are biased towards abortion being your choice), some churches are associated with programs for unwed mothers. Our church helps support a home for unwed mothers. Maybe you could check a few churches and ask the pastor for help.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Free counseling. Group therapy. Prayer. Journaling. etc. etc. etc. You could get some online friends as well!
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