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... Send *djudd a private message | | | *djudd's profile:I am a 24 year old male out of Oklahoma City. I stumbled across this site after a horrible separation and found it very helpful. I have been through almost every situation I have seen on this site so far. I do believe, to this day, that relationships are the most difficult thing in life so far. |
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I have the most amazing boyfriend but I'm stuck on the military guy whom I don't even know well! How to forget him?
Q. I can't get over this guy who I dated for only 2 months and it's driving me insane. We went out a few times (just dates, no sex etc) and he then went on a short deployment (he's in the military). While he was away he called every second day and w...
A. 27 December 2009: This is a familiar situation that I have faced myself. The first thing to do is remain loyal to your current boyfriend. You need to then decide is this guy you barely came to know, is worth ending what you have now. There is no way to convince ... (read in full...)
Domestic Violence, Cheating and Love
Q. Hey there, I was in an intense relationship for nearly two years. My ex and I had known each other as friends for about six months before we started dating. We got along great, our relationship was normal and happy for the first six months. He was a ...
A. 23 December 2009: This sounds quite sad, I completely understand where your coming from except for the cheating. You should never cheat period, at least break it off then go do it. No matter who does what, you can't justify cheating and no one wants to be with ... (read in full...)
My friend's ex is sending me messages on Facebook, is he interested in me?
Q. ok, about a month ago my best friend went out with this boy who isnt that close a friend of ours but still a friend and he started messaging me on facebook. I thought it was just because he was going out with my best friend and he wanted us to get ...
A. 23 December 2009: That's a bad situation to be in period. The deal is even if he does like you, your ex will find out. So after that happens, chances are you wont be together long and he'll be friends once again with his friend. Either way it's not something I would ... (read in full...)
I'm becoming violent and very angry because I suspect of him cheating, are my fears justified?
Q. hello i really need some help i dont have anybody to talk to. i just got married 4 months ago,my husband is 33 years and i'm 21 years old.my problem is that i can't trust my husband at all. i have been for a while obssesed with him cheating on me. ...
A. 23 December 2009: There is no justification to becoming violent. My ex of four and half years was like that with me. The trust issues with her never ceased, yet I never gave her any reason to not fully trust me and she would proceed with anger and violence. I will ... (read in full...)
Couldn't be with the one I love now I've met someone new. How should I proceed?
Q. HI I am in love with a girl we want to get marry also but her parents was against our relationship and now the girl whom i love is not ready to go against her parents she will mrry to the guy where her parents will tell there is one girl whom i like ...
A. 23 December 2009: I know exactly where your coming from. I just ended a four and half year relationship against my will. However, it hurts to know the one you love is not available to you. The thing to note is, you cannot stand by and wait. This girl shows an ... (read in full...)
I now question if she ever loved me.
Q. I have been with my wife for 6 years. She recently cheated on me and the person she was cheating with needed a place to stay and she had him move in with us. I found out what was going on about a month and a half afterwards. He petended to be my ...
A. 30 January 2009: Well thats your choice. I didn't trust me after she did. I supposed all people are somewhat different. Best of luck to you.... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend lie about the mystery girl he was texting?
Q. Why did he lie about something like that? I have a bit of a problem. My boyfriend and I have been on a break since november. Until around christmas, we had very little contact. For about a month, he didn't answer my calls or text messages, etc. B...
A. 30 January 2009: That's really impossible to say. My girlfriend ended up being with another guy. I'm not saying thats what he's up to but it could be possible. Once the lies start and the trust is gone, everything is ruined. Sorry. Best of luck.... (read in full...)
He proposed, but now he's not sure. What should I do?
Q. my boyfiend and i have been going out for about a year and two months everything seem to be going ok but not we are constantly fighting about silly things and i just do not know what else to do.i love him and he loves me and he had proposed to me ...
A. 30 January 2009: It sounds like you just need to compromise with him. There is a chance that he really just thinks it's too soon. Just tell him your ready when he is. That's simple and caring.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is being manipulated by another man. How do I get her to let him go?
Q. I'll start by giving a little bit of detail about my girlfriend and I. We're both 22 years old, we have been dating very seriously for four years, and we are pretty much best friends. We have never had any big fights or rough spots in the ...
A. 30 January 2009: Man, this is a definite bad situation. Obviously, there are trust issues, which more then likely will leave you as long as you date her. I have been there, trust me. The other fact is you don't know that she won't do this again. I mean she's flying ... (read in full...)
Should I go back out with my ex or move on?
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend of half a year about 3 months ago for the forth time. The first time I broke up with him was the worst night of my life and consisted of me at a party standing in the middle of a cirle of my boyfriend's close friends ...
A. 30 January 2009: I asked myself those questions 3 months ago with my ex. I think that, "opposites and similars" means nothing. The opposites and similars is non existant. If he lies then you have your first problem. Second, would be when he gets drunk and tends to ... (read in full...)
I think he's ready for sex but I'm a virgin and not sure I'm ready!
Q. im kinda nervous about this but i need to know.My boyfriend may be ready to have sex,and hes told me he has before.Im still a virgin and I was wondering if i should or not.Ive heard its gonna hurt really bad and i hate pain but im not sure.Any ...
A. 30 January 2009: Well the best thing for your relationship, is to wait until your both ready. You don't want it to be awkward. Otherwise, there is nothing special to it. Just tell him your not ready but you'll let him know when you are. He should understand that. ... (read in full...)
How do you know if you're just an ego booster?
Q. Just wondering if there are any warning signs. Say I think we have great chemistry, but in reality I'm just boosting his ego. We have been flirting a lot and we've known each other for quite a few years. The main reason I'm asking is because he's ...
A. 30 January 2009: Well I would see what he does. If he was interested, I would think he would initiate something. In this situation I don't see any possible warning signs to help you in this. How long has the flirting been going on would answer that for you. Best of ... (read in full...)
I got a sexual text from another guy..my b/f see it..now I'm wondering if he loves me?
Q. I have a boyfriend,an incident happens between us the other day.actually their is this other guy texing my phone saying he wants to get in a relationship with me.one day my boyfriend grab my phone went in my phone and saw a a tex the guy send me ...
A. 30 January 2009: I have been in your shoes before. The best thing to do is let your boyfriend figure this out. Don't put a lot of pressure on him, as this can affect his decision. In the mean time, I would tell this guy off or change your number. I wouldn't be too ... (read in full...)
When can I talk to her about sex?
Q. me and my gf have been together 4 2weeks and 4days.when do i talk to her about sex? by the way im 14 and she15...
A. 30 January 2009: I see your mind is already wondering, which we're male so thats normal. Anywho, I think that subject will naturally come up when the time is right. If you ask her about something of that nature, she might just think all you want her for is sex. So ... (read in full...)
How can I forgive him? Where do I begin to find the forgiveness over the anger and pain?
Q. So I'm going to try and be brief with my history. I am married to the absolute love of my life. He has done everything completely right...Up to this point. Back in october 08 I took in a 17 year old girl who was heading down a path I knew all too ...
A. 30 January 2009: I wouldn't say anyone has the right for revenge, mostly because revenge solves nothing. The fact that you two have done this to each other should easily put this into perspective. Does he know about your affair? Because if not, you should tell him ... (read in full...)
A foolish affair turned sour.
Q. Regretfully, I have been having an "affair" with one of my husband's oldest friends. This guy lives over 500 miles away from us, and we have met up a few times, and talk for hours on the phone/e mails. I've left my husband, not for this guy, but for ...
A. 30 January 2009: The best thing would be remain with your husband. As for your boyfriend, the fact he threatened you shows that he could VERY likely try to ruin everything for you. Now I would recommend thinking about a restraining order. But even at that, that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps texting me about having sex with someone else!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for a long time but he keeps texting me saying he can't wait to have sex with another lass and give me awful descriptions of what he is going to do to her. It really hurts me and I try talking to him and he just laughs a...
A. 30 January 2009: If you find this behavior intolerable now, chances are it won't change. When you said you don't like the idea, it should have been dropped and never mentioned again. The fact he's laughing at you when you speak of you feel, says a lot aswell. Also, ... (read in full...)
Should I take the risk and meet him for drinks at his house?
Q. Hi there! So, since I've been doing not so well with men in person, I decided to join a free dating site. Right away, a guy messaged me and we seem to have quite a bit in common. The problem is, he wants to meet, and although I do want to ...
A. 30 January 2009: I would never recommend taking this risk. First, you need to be comfortable when meeting someone for the first time and it is always best to meet in a public place. I am not saying he's a serial killer, but I am saying is your already uncomfortable ... (read in full...)
I think my mum is just trying to scare me to put me off having sex too soon.
Q. hey, I'm 16 and thinking about having sex with my boyfriend. I'm on the pill and we're going to use a condom. The thing is my mum has made me really paranoid about having sex. We had a talk the other day about Sex and she said knowing my family's ...
A. 30 January 2009: Your mom has a great point. Sex is great but it also makes things horribly complicated. If you two were ever to break up it would be much worse after having sex. Of course, your mom is looking out for your best interest and she is probably trying to ... (read in full...)
Why did my boyfriend lie about the mystery girl he was texting?
Q. Why did he lie about something like that? I have a bit of a problem. My boyfriend and I have been on a break since november. Until around christmas, we had very little contact. For about a month, he didn't answer my calls or text messages, etc. B...
A. 30 January 2009: Your answer is yes. If there was nothing going on, there would be no lying. I think you have already tried to connect the dots of what happened over his disappearance. Just based off what you told me, I'de say there's more then he's telling. If he ... (read in full...)
I'm not going to let him have his way, I want him to take me serious.
Q. What the heck?!? My boyfriend of a few days kept joking around and making comments about having sex. So, I figured that I should mention 'no sex' yet. I want to get to know him better and not rush into it! Basically, I'm not ready yet. His respo...
A. 29 January 2009: I'm not jumping to conclusions here, but the fact he tried to have sex with you the night you made it official is quite questionable to his character. Now not answering the phone could mean he's busy. I do recommend relying on your instinct to give ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship normal or really screwed up?
Q. On different occasions in the last 7 months I have posted questions regarding my relationship with my boyfriend. Just yesterday I realized how many different problems, big problems, we have that I have posted and asked for advice on. And now I'm ...
A. 29 January 2009: I can relate to most issues you have stated here. Porn is not so much of a problem. Alot of guys just have a huge sex drive. Now when porn turns into him coming up missing one night and what not then you'll find there's a problem. Now lying is a ... (read in full...)
I was wondering is there a chance there could have been sperm on his penis from the first round?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were having sex today, we used contraception and I'm going on the pill when my next period is due but anyway we were having sex and he came and everything that was round one. Round two we were having sex and the condom ripped ...
A. 29 January 2009: Right, but the problem is that it's very likely still there. These are security measures for you, thats why you must be absolutely positive.... (read in full...)
Break my heart over and over...
Q. Hello, I love her. But she does not love me. I think she just liked me as a friend. She broke up with her boyfriend a time ago. But still loves him. We've seen eachother from time to time and I thought she liked me. She flirted, she was smilling ...
A. 29 January 2009: This is a horrible situation to be in. I have been there myself. The best advice I can give you, is to walk away. She won't forget you but you have to think about this in a different perspective aswell. If she was to leave him, what makes you think ... (read in full...)
Every time I like a girl and ask them out I get shot down.
Q. Hi there, I'm new to this so hear I go. I'm 21, I have never had a girlfriend because of the way I look. I never had sex but that's not a big thing. Every time I like a girl and ask them out I get shot down. Is there anything I can do....
A. 29 January 2009: You are probably just running across the wrong girls. You will find someone. When it comes to finding a partner, it always comes when least expected. Keep your head up man.... (read in full...)
How can I propose to her?
Q. It's a little bit big qstion, I dont know how you'll react but I need some real guiadance, I am 19, and the girl I love is 15, she is my first cousin, please don't choke. I am in love with her for 3 years, but never told her. She is my first love, ...
A. 29 January 2009: Why are you asking for advice if you had this figured out already? Let me cut to the chase, this whole situation is wrong. Just because you don't like what you hear, doesn't mean it's wrong. It doesn't matter what you tell yourself, THIS IS WRONG. ... (read in full...)
Is there hope for this relationship?
Q. I've been sick for the past two days, and thus, have had a lot of time to think about my relationship with my boyfriend. We're been living together for half a year now, and he's starting to get to me: - he's childish. IE: he's 21 and still ...
A. 29 January 2009: This sounds quite familiar to me. My ex had those exact same attributes. It's hard to say. For starters, the fact that he doesn't pull his own weight is ridiculous. A relationship requires two people. There is never just "YOU" or "ME" in a ... (read in full...)
How can I please my boyfriend without having sex.
Q. How can I please my boyfriend without having sex. He at least wants oral, but I have braces! The wiring is all over my teeth. Plus, my back molers are all strapped on tight with the wiring and pretty sharp. I mean I can feel it with my tongue. I'm ...
A. 29 January 2009: I would suggest staying away from their with your mouth. That could end up with some serious repercussions. I would think he could understand this quite easily. Let me know if I can offer any other assistance. Best of luck.... (read in full...)
Help me with my low self esteem.
Q. When I look at myself in a mirror I always think of myself as ugly and my boyfriend tells me that I'm cute. I want to know what other peoples opinions are to clear things up so please help....
A. 29 January 2009: I had this trouble with my ex of four years. She was always approaching me with questions of that nature. Of course, I always told her that I thought she was gorgeous. But overall, the thing is YOU must be content with yourself. Obviously, your ... (read in full...)
Please help my ex-teacher situation.
Q. I'm not used to this, but I shall try my hardest There was this teacher that I had two years ago but things got a bit sticky as he got investigated because of his behaviour towards me and things. I haven't had him as a teacher since january 2...
A. 29 January 2009: Unfortunately, YOU can't do anything. It is his decision to persue this or not. The fact that he will lose his job and could possibly go to jail has registered with him. I'm not saying he doesn't have feelings for you or not. But what I am saying is ... (read in full...)
My molers get in the way when I give him oral sex!
Q. Okay so I have a problem! My boyfriend loves oral sex but that is a big problem. You see my boyfriend has a very large penis. Not only is it long but it is fat but you see my teeth get in the way because he is so big. Not my front teeth my my back ...
A. 29 January 2009: Unfortunately, this is nothing you can do to help this situation. Your jaw is only so flexible, due to it's unique design. There is a possibility that surgery could assist you in this but that is a overly excessive way to go. I'm sorry that I ... (read in full...)
How can I propose to her?
Q. It's a little bit big qstion, I dont know how you'll react but I need some real guiadance, I am 19, and the girl I love is 15, she is my first cousin, please don't choke. I am in love with her for 3 years, but never told her. She is my first love, ...
A. 29 January 2009: Well, this is definitely an awkward situation. For starters, most countries to not allow marriages such as these, so that might be what stops you. Second of all, have you thought about how your family will react to this decision? This is a HUGE ... (read in full...)
So what does love and lust feel like?
Q. I'm 14 and I don't know what love feels like. I've felt very attracted to other guys but when I've asked questions like this people tell me it's just lust and need. So what does love and lust feel like and don't go telling me I'm too young to know ...
A. 29 January 2009: That is an excellent question. Love is really too hard to put into words. Every emotion you feel when in love, is completely astonishing. Lust is just the physical attraction really. It has nothing to do with love. For example, lust would be you ... (read in full...)
What are the laws on student-teacher relationships?
Q. hey :) I just popped on here to ask a simple and maybe somewhat controversial question but I shall discuss it whatever :) If you are 18 and want to pursue things with a teacher what EXACTLY are the laws on this? I understand people will tell me...
A. 29 January 2009: If I remember correctly, is automatic termination. Your age will not change anything with this rule. If you are under 18, then he/she can end up in front of a judge making an attempt to not go to jail(if intercourse is involved. Now there might be ... (read in full...)
I now question if she ever loved me.
Q. I have been with my wife for 6 years. She recently cheated on me and the person she was cheating with needed a place to stay and she had him move in with us. I found out what was going on about a month and a half afterwards. He petended to be my ...
A. 29 January 2009: I'm sorry to hear that. I for one have definitely been in those shoes. The answer to your question would be, does she show you her love? My ex always you used to say she loved me and what not but when it came to her showing it, I never saw it. She ... (read in full...)
My husband and my friend... an item?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 11 year and were together for 14 years. Then about two and a half years ago I injured my back at work. It has been rough on our relationship that is for sure. We were making it though we supported each other ...
A. 29 January 2009: You do NOT want him back. They have intercourse in YOUR house. The fact is, people like this don't change their habits. You have been married to him too long for this behavior to be acceptable. I have heard people argue that affairs CAN help ... (read in full...)
What man stares at another man with passion in his eyes?
Q. I've been married for 1 year but with this man for 6 years. Before we got married any woman would have wanted him, strong, smart, handy, a great lover, a good friend, I can go on , but I will stop there because it all was a bunch of bull sh!t. Maybe ...
A. 29 January 2009: Well, since you are already thinking that he may be gay, this is not making this any easier. If you honestly think he is gay, file for divorce. As this will damage your daughter if she was to get older and if it was to escalate. The fact is he ... (read in full...)
Both cheating on our spouses for 7 months but never had sex!
Q. I have been having an affair with a man that is 17 years older than me. We have been seeing each other for 7 months and have not had sex. We have very passionate kissing sessions with lots of petting and that is fine with us both. We are both okay ...
A. 29 January 2009: I'm not quite sure if thats even the right question to be asking. I'm thinking that there are two people who have no idea their marriage is in the situation. I honestly believe that if you were to keep persuing this is might cause a devastating ... (read in full...)
Are condoms safe?
Q. If you can't use the pill is condoms very safe?? What are their success rate?...
A. 29 January 2009: Condoms have good success rate of being up in the upper ninety-percentile. I would definitely say thats your best bet.... (read in full...)
My g/f of 5 years wants to see what else is out there!
Q. Hey everyone, So I'm currently in a 5 year relationship and me and my girlfriend have been having some problems. Last night she told me that she loves me to death and cares for me yet maybe wants to see what else is out there. We are high school ...
A. 28 January 2009: Man, I was in your shoes about a month ago. I spent 4 years with her and then one day it all changed. The best thing to do is seperate yourself until you have a picture perfect understanding of this. It will not be easy but you need the clarity to ... (read in full...)
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