A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Regretfully, I have been having an "affair" with one of my husband's oldest friends. This guy lives over 500 miles away from us, and we have met up a few times, and talk for hours on the phone/e mails. I've left my husband, not for this guy, but for financial purposes, and problems with our home, and his refusal to support me and our child, etc. My "boyfriend" thinks that I left my husband for him. In the cold light of day as a single parent, hard up and lonely, I find myself missing my husband, who has started giving me some money, and has promised to sort out our home, etc. My "boyfriend" nows sees our separation as his chance for us to be together. I don't want him, and have never discussed being together permanently with him. His reaction has been extremely difficult - written and verbal aggression, threats and insults.He later apologised, and is still writing to me as if nothing as happened, and as if he is just waiting for the word from me. His dilusions frighted me, and I wish I'd never bothered with him, I feel guilty and ashamed at deceiving my husband, although his behaviour and attitude have been horrendous at times. What should I do for the best? How can I free myself of this guy?
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male
reader, cdjudd  +, writes (30 January 2009):
The best thing would be remain with your husband. As for your boyfriend, the fact he threatened you shows that he could VERY likely try to ruin everything for you. Now I would recommend thinking about a restraining order. But even at that, that doesn't say he won't find a way to tell your husband. So I would consider telling your husband, because by the looks of it he will if you don't. This is a really bad situation and I'm sorry to hear of anyone going through this. But we must take responsibility for our actions, despite what the consequences may be. Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, Pharohqueen211 +, writes (30 January 2009):
First let me say that i have never been on your side of the fence. Yes i have cheated on my husband but it was a one night stand with a guy i met at the club and we didnt even exchange numbers. But my husband cheated on me with someone whom i was close to. And in my opinion the lying and decite hurts more than the actual act. I believe through out your situation honesty will set u free. Tell the other man the truth about how u feel. And if u want to make things work wit your husband then tell him what happened and how u feel. Both about your past wit him and how his actions affected your marriage. Then hang on and be strong for yourself and your kids. Regardless of what happens god never gives us more than we can handle. Just have faith in him and yourself.
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