A
female
age
30-35,
*ix
writes:Hi there! So, since I've been doing not so well with men in person, I decided to join a free dating site.Right away, a guy messaged me and we seem to have quite a bit in common.The problem is, he wants to meet, and although I do want to meet him, I'm a little afraid because he just wants to take me to his house for drinks. Although I don't get a creepy vibe from the guy, I'm weary, because I know that with him driving me, and being in his house, drinking something hes concocted makes me really vulnerable. What are the chances he wants to date rape me or something? I am 19 and he is 28. He has a job, a car, and his own home, and is attractive... Should I take the risk? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sparkleworks  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 Honestly if I were in this situation and had a guy I didn't even know offer to drive me to his house for drinks, I would cut all contact immediately. I don't think that's socially appropriate on any planet.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): Absolutely not!Good that you are going to meet him in a public place. Make sure you get there under your own steam, and when you leave, get yourself home - don't permit him to take you!In fact, this would apply to the next meeting and the next several after that.I don't like at all that he suggested going to his home for your first meeting.....
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A
female
reader, Jix +, writes (30 January 2009):
Jix is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks everybody, I'm going to ask him to meet in a public place :)
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A
female
reader, im_a_dummy  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 I have met some people in person that I originally met online, and although I am not sure if the dating service you are going through has really checked to make sure you are who you say you are, but I met him and he was amazing and it was the best thing ever, after that I was less careful and I did end up meeting a fake at his house and THANK GOD it was a police officer, teaching me a lesson.. but hun, that just showes that some people are okay and some aren't. Just let him know you would feel more comfortable meeting in a public area, and bring a friend. Meet at a place where you KNOW there is a lot of security camera's... (local bank) or a place where there is a lot of people. Just because there are fakes he also may be real. Be careful and no matter how many good people you meet online and in person, there are fakes out there too.
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 No. You seem to have doubts and as you have pointed out you are completely at a strangers mercy. Because in the end that's what he is, a stranger.Instead meet him in a public place. I don't know the legal drinking age in Canada, if you can then a bar or something. Maybe a large park or something? You should get to know him first. I do find it odd that on a first date he wants to drive you to his house for drinks. But then again I have no idea about dating so it might be normal.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (30 January 2009):
 In a nut shell : casual Sex.Ask to meet him at a bar and take a friend. If he's cool with it then take it from there if he freaks out and says "but I wanted to get to know you on your own" then he's creepy..
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A
male
reader, cdjudd +, writes (30 January 2009):
I would never recommend taking this risk. First, you need to be comfortable when meeting someone for the first time and it is always best to meet in a public place. I am not saying he's a serial killer, but I am saying is your already uncomfortable and you haven't even met him yet. Why go into this feeling that way? Just simply explain, you want to meet in public then see where it goes from there. Try to not let your guard down too quickly either. Best of luck to you.
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