A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why did he lie about something like that?I have a bit of a problem. My boyfriend and I have been on a break since november. Until around christmas, we had very little contact. For about a month, he didn't answer my calls or text messages, etc. But suddenly, around mid december, we started talking and even went on a mini vacation as a get away, so to say. During the week we talked before our vacation, I had asked what had been going on during the month that he had been "missing". A guy friend of mind told me to not give him ideas of answers, and let him tell me. As in, don't ask, "did you need space?" "Were you dating someone just to see if you really wanted to be here?" So I never asked around, because I don't want him to just agree with something I have thrown out there. We went on talking and he said that he wanted me to move back in with him in april, saying things would be different next time around. I agreed. A couple weeks passed and I asked a few more times, "so what was going on during that month?" And still, didn't get an answer. Not a straight answer at least. Anyway. Around the beginning of january, I drove out to his house to pick up a new phone he had gotten me. When I got in, he was texting back and forth with someone, focusing on that, instead of what was going on. After a while, I asked, "who's that?" He tells me that its an 815 number that he doesn't know, and he stops texting. Not giving it any thought, (he gets A LOT of wrong numbers. I know this. His number is one digit off of a public number.) Later, I look at his new phone a toy around with it. Not to snoop. I had no intention of that, I was honestly just checking out his phone and its gadgets. I noticed that he had deleted all of his texts... We work on fixing my phone and when he can't get it to work right, he tells me he will come out to my house in the morning when he gets off work to fix it. I agree, we go out to eat, and I go home...Now trust me, this is going somewhere...The next morning he comes out after getting off work and about an hour after getting in, he fell asleep on the couch. He had put his sim card in my old phone so I could switch things over. Around 5, the 815 number sent him a text asking, "are you awake?". Remembering what he said the night before, I figured it was the same person pestering him again. So, I replied, "who is this?" We went back and fourth. This person went on to say, "C, you don't know who this is silly?" And "al right, C, let me refresh your memory. Who do you talk to everyday, silly guy.". Going on the way this person was texting, I could tell it was a woman. He woke up before I could figure out her name. When my bf woke, he hit the roof. Demanding to know what I had said to this person. I played it off as if nothing had just happened and let it go, not saying anything. Not letting him know I was pissed. The situation was dropped.Two weeks pass and I sit and stew over it. Why did he tell me he didn't know who was texting him? He knows I don't mind female friends, why? Why did he become SOO defensive when he saw that I was texting this 815 girl? Why did he lie to me? Does this have to do with the mystery month that he was "gone"? Does she even know about me? All of these thoughts. Well, one night I end up texting him asking why he lied. I tell him that this just looks bad and as if he is trying to hide something. That I wouldn't mind female friends, as long as he was honest about it. I told him that I had a big problem with him not being able to talk to me (he's never been able too) and not be able to tell me what was going on that month he was gone. In the end, he had nothing to say, and ended the conversation with, "whatever."Now, when we went on vacation in december, we went to a bar with his best friend and his girlfriend. We were all drinking. His friend had a few to many and leans in to my boyfriend and says, "this isn't like last time you were here. Last time you were single!" He had been there 4 week before, during the month I couldn't contact him. Others girls were there when he last went, and all said that he claimed to be single 4 weeks prior. I believe this is what is driving me nuts. I don't care if he went out and had fun. Everyone says he didn't do anything. But still. Something isn't right here. He isn't being up front.I must add that a few months before I moved home for the "break", he started being over protective of his phone. I couldn't touch it! Let alone look at his call log or texts. When we first got together, he wasn't like that. He would hand me his phone to text people back... We are both 23. We've been together for a year.What I need to know is should I be worried about the girl he was texting then lied to me about?
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male
reader, cdjudd +, writes (30 January 2009):
That's really impossible to say. My girlfriend ended up being with another guy. I'm not saying thats what he's up to but it could be possible. Once the lies start and the trust is gone, everything is ruined. Sorry. Best of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWhat do you think is going on between my bf and this girl?
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A
male
reader, cdjudd +, writes (30 January 2009):
Your answer is yes. If there was nothing going on, there would be no lying. I think you have already tried to connect the dots of what happened over his disappearance. Just based off what you told me, I'de say there's more then he's telling. If he doesn't want to talk about it then obviously there's more. My ex used to disappear then only to show up again, this happened many times. I found out by studying her movements and analyzing her tone of voice. Because what happens is instead of them just doing things based out of routine, they then have to try to act normal to not give you any signs. If you are confused by this, then just analyze how the act and you will see what I'm saying. If something is going on you WILL know. Best of luck to you.
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