A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfiend and i have been going out for about a year and two months everything seem to be going ok but not we are constantly fighting about silly things and i just do not know what else to do.i love him and he loves me and he had proposed to me when we were about seven months into the relationship but i told him to wait until i finish school he was ok with it since we both have to be in school for a long time but now that im getting use to the idea that i may get engaged soon he tells me he doesnt know anymore about the whole marriage thing since we are fighting constantly i really do not want to loose him he means the world to me but he did hurt me when he told me he wasnt sure what can i do?
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (30 January 2009):
 The best you can do is wait, my darling. You don't want to rush him any more than you wanted him to rush you back then. And, if he is wary of marriage, it sounds like he is wary for the right reasons... before you make that promise again to each other try to work through your present problems.
Definitely work on your relationship, strengthen it, learn to fight productively. Couples fight, it happens, it's just how you get through them and work things out that will count in the long run. Learn to compromise, listen to each other better and say what you really mean.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2009): I think you should give him the time he’s asking for, he is not telling you to get out of his life is he? All he is saying is not now, when you weren’t ready my angel he waited for you, so you have to do the same for him, but in the mean time you have to understand that us girls think with our hearts and emotions and guys well they think logically, logically it does not make sense to go and stand before God and make a commitment to Love, honor and cherish if you know that you are constantly fighting, and I can tell you as a woman that emotionally thinking I would say so what you love me don’t you that should be enough, and I have caught myself so many times saying that, but try and think logically and you wont feel so confused, its gona be hard to accept but you’ll understand how he feels better. If you close your eyes picture your wedding day, the emotions you feel in your heart, look up at the man standing next to you, what emotion do you want to feel running through yoyr heart, and then the rest of your life, how do you picture that??? He probably did the same thing, and the picture he got wasn’t pleasant at all, because of the way things are between you at the moment, try and sort yourself out, try and get yourself back on track, I know what its like when you live so close with a guy, things can get on your tits, and you can fight about every little thing. Have you ever had a fight with him and afterwards when he wasn’t talking to you said to yourself, I could’ve done things so much different, and avoided this whole fight? Well people who are ready for marriage thinks with a mindset like that, they accept that they cant always get what they want, but everything they need is already here, they love unconditionally and they don’t give with a heavy heart, they communicate and respect each other, they respect each others roles in the marriage, they compromise and listen to each other, there’s so many things you need so many different componentsto make a marriage a success and you need to find out what that is, and start living and working towards that. http://www.familydynamics.net/practicing_for_marriage.htmplease visit this website, read what it says and then take a step back and then be honest how many of those things are you? How many of those things are in your relationship right now??? Angel prepare yourself if you love this man, don’t mess up what you be your dream, work hard and you will be one of the few couples not ot become a statistic, and be one of the few to be able to sit next to the same man on a bench in 50 years from now, still loving each other as much as you do today.Good luck
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A
female
reader, sparkleworks  +, writes (30 January 2009):
 Sure, he hurt you by telling you he wasn't ready... but wouldn't it hurt a LOT more if he went through with an engagement and possibly marriage to appease you, and THEN decided that it wasn't what he wanted?All you can do is wait for him. I hope it turns out well for you.
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A
male
reader, cdjudd +, writes (30 January 2009):
It sounds like you just need to compromise with him. There is a chance that he really just thinks it's too soon. Just tell him your ready when he is. That's simple and caring.
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