A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please help me im in love with a married man who doesnt live near me. We see each other often. We have been together 6 month they have only been married 4. Will he ever leave? I want to move to be closer to him but dont think he would agree.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Do you know what? I am in the exactly the same dilema too. The really sad thing is I have been in the same place with different men on at least three other occasions and been totally smitten by said men, but have never had one leave his partner for me. First of all, women out there who think that the 'other woman' is an unscrupulous heartless bitch, think again. The amount of pain that I have had to endure over the years whilst my so called female friends looked on or more precicely down on me, whilst I had my heart wiped accross the pavement for all to see, is basically unfair. Women who have not experienced this, or are so closed minded that they have to lay the blame on the womans weaknesses are wrong. Affairs are complicated and very lonely, sex is great but at the end of the day you want more and will rarely benefit from the love or luxuries the wife receives. If this is the on-going situation then, it really is painful, you cannot confide for fear of loosing the man, friends think that you are unstable. I'm intelegent, beleive in kindness.. and intentionally hurting the wife/partner has never been part of the plan, and too my knowledge never something I have done. With that out the way, the second thing to recognise is that this 'affair' buisness is clearly a psychological problem, or in my case an affliction. My mother had a long running affair with a man when I was a child and this I think adds a great deal to my own make-up, as I said in ten years (I'm 30) 3 major affairs, I have never spent Christmas with a partner, cannot enter into a 'good' relationship, if I am having an affair because I could not betray the love I have for the man, (even if I only see him occasionally) As a result I have had no memorable relationsips, and end up stepping striaght back into wrong situations, often without recognising it till it is too late. Currenly an ex-lover who has a partner, and now a child with that partner has re-entered into my life, I truly love him, and would do almost anything for him, and want him to leave his wife - I don't think his relationship is good - but then is it ever? I am trying to resign myself to the plain fact that he most probably will never leave is wife. Second time round I am older and wiser - although it would be great if he did leave his wife - he probably never will. A cautionary tale.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 Obviously he doesn't consider you to be marriage material just an occasional screw. You must not think very highly of yourself if you allow this kind of treatment. And as everyone has and will say, he will never, never, never leave his wife for you, ever, period.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): You will always be the other woman, he may say he doesnt love her, but he is still there. He does love her and he is having you on the side. Having his cake and eating it. He is a cad and you are encouraging him. How would you feel if that was you? Gutted! Not good. Move on and find a bloke of your own, one that is totally free and single. Sorry, but if there werent any women like you about there would be a lot of long and happy marriages.
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A
female
reader, Fairy_Lu +, writes (13 November 2007):
 He is married he isnt going to leave her stop wasting you time on him the fact he is cheating on his wife means he could be cheating on you both with someone else, dont waste any more time on this loser.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (13 November 2007):
 If he was dating you but married her what does that tell you? It does not take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. He made his choice when he decided to get married, unfortunately it wasn't you.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 hey,
you already know that he won't leave her! so why are you waisting your time?
you have to get him out of your head he is MARRIED now! you can't wait for him forever. knowing that something might not happen!
sorry to tell you this.but you have to forget about him and move on..... i know t is really very hard, but you HAVE to do it, it is for your own good, because if he loved you he wouldn't have gotten married in the first place..
get out of this situation you know that you deserve the best!
look for someone new. good luck byeXXX
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A
female
reader, whiteshadow +, writes (13 November 2007):
 i agree with tellulah
Its a very sticky situation and the fact you been with him longer but he got married while you was seeing each other shows he is leading you up the wrong path
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (13 November 2007):
 Honey,
Stop waisting your time.
Do you mean he has only been married for 4 months, becuase if you have been together for 6 what the hell did he marry the other one for.
Sorry babe but you are being used. Cut your loses and run. He will only make you miserable.
XX
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