A
female
age
36-40,
*ugsNkisses
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. In the beginning he was very adament about showing his feelings, saying nice things, and doing nice things. I ama girl who likes to be appreciated for who I am and for things I do for my significant other. The past few months he seems very selfish and not interested. For instance, when I call, it seems I always call at the wrong time. He is usually playing video games and wont pause it to talk to me. Therefore I feel I could have had the same conversation with a brick wall! He doesn't put the same amount of effort into our relationship. I feel if I quit trying, then I relationhip will eventually just die out... But when I ask him about it he denies it, says I'm talking crazy and gets frustrated. Then when I get really serious about it and he feels he is about to lose me, he is more than willing to express his feelings and fight for me. But every other day he's just kind of a guy who is there, known as my boyfriend... I'm afraid I'm beginning to lose feelings for him because he doesn't treat me with the respect and attention I feel I deserve and can find somewhere else.Also, my sex drive is almost non existent now... I feel like he assumes that every time he is horny, I am horny... and he just wants to jump right into sex. He never tries to get me in the mood, he just wants it right then. Now I never want it because I just think of sex as pleasure for him; it's all about him..I have confronted him about all of these issues. He either gets defensive or blows it off and I'm not really sure how else to approach the subjects. Should I just let my relationship die out?Any comments and advice are greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, hugsNkisses +, writes (21 November 2007):
hugsNkisses is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for your responses cd206 and dear deedee. I realize it is my decision to make and I am confused... It's a hard one to make. I love him so much and of course I want to be with him, but I don't feel any effort on his behalf.
And as for the games... it's not all the time. He is majoring in Game Design so I understand he needs to play games. And it's not like he sits around all day and that's all he does.
We could go an entire day not seeing each other or even speaking, then at the end of the day, naturally, I want to talk to him. It's then that he is too consumed to have an actual conversation. I'm not always there just sitting around waiting for him. I have my life too, but at the end of the day I want to talk and he just doesnt seem interested.
I know I don't want to spend the rest of my life feeling like this.... like only cares and shows he cares when he's about to lose me. I just want it to work so badly, and eventually I'm going to be too tired to try anymore.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 November 2007):
 It sounds like you're unsure about whether you want the relationship to die out or not and unfortunately, thats not something we can help you decide. You need to work it out for yourself. Just ask yourself whether you think you'd be happier alone or if you are happier with him and that is your answer.
CD
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A
female
reader, dear deedee +, writes (20 November 2007):
welcome to the real world (boys and there toys.) make him run around after you, get a hobbie so that your not there when he can be bothered to pull his bum out of the chair and away from his computer games, you might just be to busy to talk. you shouldnt be doing all the running relationships are a two way thing, and if his not prepared to work at it then maybe your better off without him, if he is more intrested in computer games then maybe his not worth it. Could you see yourself spending the rest of your life with someone that cant give you the time of day.
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A
female
reader, whiteshadow +, writes (20 November 2007):
 im sorry to say but it really does sound like you have tried your best.i have been in a very similiar situation..we ended up friends after a long time of splitting up. I do think you should let it die out personally even tho i know others would disagree with me but why kee him happy? you could be out ther with friends or maybe a new boyfrend who makes you ten times mroe happier. If hes not willing to talk he doesnt care about you as much as he should.im really sorry,,you sound like such a great n fab person. I hope he relises what he loses and comes crying back to you willing to take on his role as a boyfriend that he should be but if he dusnt then you would probably be better off without xxxxx
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