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... Send *raz a private message | | | *raz's profile:Hello I am a 33 year old Greek/Turkish guy who has been through all the walks of life and lived in many cultures.
I have had many experiences and observations which I hope will be helpful to people who seek help. |
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Still in love with my ex husband after 3 years (kind of) apart
Q. Hi everyone,I have been having relationship problems for just over 3 years now and have come to the conclusion that I could do with outsiders views and suggestions. OK here goes...My Husband(who i"d been with for 11 years) and I moved into our drea...
A. 9 January 2010: He is such an irresponsible man as to leave you and yur SON behind suddenly and of course your dream home. Such a selfish or better low behaviour.
As you put your life in order he comes back to you for sex!!!
Well I dont think hes doing ok as compa... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date my step-brother??
Q. i really like my step brother we are not blood releated just his mum got married to my dad do you think it is okay to date him?...
A. 5 January 2008: Legally, ethically, morally it is perfectly OK.
there is no law, no tradition, nothing to prevent you two dasting, sleeping (although it is early) and in the future marrying each other.
It may or may not work out which depends on many many fa... (read in full...)
I have been with my partner for 10 years now, but I cannot stop flirting and having sexual thoughts about his close friend - who is permissive (has reciprocated.) Any ideas?
Q. i have been with my partner for nearly 10 years. I have always been attracted to one of his close friends. During my entire relationship we have always flirted on and off and a few times it has gone a bit too far though it has never resulted in sex. ...
A. 5 January 2008: He is not asking you to be with him, to be his girlfriend, partner.
he is asking to have sex with you.
So you are asking whether you should have sex with him, and cheat with your boyfriend and continue your ten year relationship, wh... (read in full...)
Could you all tell me about your sex lives please?
Q. I'm just being nosy and curious, I suppose, but I just wanted to know about peoples sex lives. Of course, most people will make out that they have sex every night, they do this that and the other... But really...There must be some peop...
A. 4 January 2008: it depends on the couples.
Most couples in their 20s and 30s would do it in and around weekends 2-3 times a week at nights.
But many couples do it less, like once a week or even once in ten days or even lesser.
Sometimes they would try to do it... (read in full...)
Will I ever understand a woman's rationale? Should I try to keep it going?
Q. I've been friends with this girl for about 2 years and we have been in a long distance relationship for almost a year now. Recently, she mentioned that she wasn't happy and would be happier as friends. She said the long distance isn't an issue, ...
A. 4 January 2008: I think you should call it quits.
First, whether she admits it or not long distance relationships are challenging. One should avoid for prolonged periods.
Second she is being nice, and she is not into continuing this anymore. May be she is having f... (read in full...)
I am in love with my sister-in-law and I don't know what to do?
Q. This is going to sound really bad…but I have been in love with my wife’s sister for the past six years. I have only been married for five years and I got married for the wrong reasons. I am completely miserable. My sister in-law and I are very close ...
A. 3 January 2008: It is a difficult situation and I think I understand you when you said you married your wife because of wrong reasons...ie not love... Although this situation is hard and kind of ugly, it is not that uncommon, as it appears. It happens, rightly... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lives at campus and has nine males as roommates, I don't know what to think and do?
Q. I have been dating this girl for about two and a half years now. It has been a great relationship for the most part. We have helped each other through hard times in both our lives. However, there is five and a half year age difference between us. ...
A. 3 January 2008: Why does she want to stay at a house where 9 males live? It is absurd. I have heard no country, no society in modern world where females share rooms together and it is considered ok. I assume she shares rooms with 1 or two males right? If it is not ... (read in full...)
She was my first, I was not hers... should I "get even" by experimenting with somebody else, as the thoughts about my wife's past haunt me regularly?
Q. Married for 7 years with 2 chilren, have had normal ups and downs but very good marriage. My wife had been with 6 other men before me, and I was a virgin. We got married right out of high school so I know these encounters she had were just "dumb ...
A. 2 January 2008: I have been telling in this site all along that, a woman's past concerns man, and in many cases, likes yours haunts them. It is how you made up of. But the idea that you can get even sounds absurd to tell you the truth. It wont help you at all ... (read in full...)
One for the guys. Would you hug someone you are friendly but not romantic with?
Q. Question for men: If you were having a very friendly but not yet romantic relationship with a woman, would you like it or dislike it if she gave you a hug? And how would you respond if you didn't want it to happen?...
A. 1 January 2008: Hug is Ok. But if I don't like the woman to feel anything towards me I would try to avoid. Otherwise I will just reciprocate.... (read in full...)
Should I try to see if I'm attracted to men for my wife's sake, and what happens if I enjoy the experience?
Q. My wife considers herself bisexual. I have no offense to this but was wondering if any one out there has the same problem as me. My wife enjoys women and thinks if I gave it a chance I might enjoy men. My feelings are open to most things. I'm ...
A. 1 January 2008: Why? what are you trying to do...
I think your wife is having this idea of making it ordinary to be bisexual -it is not- and trying to make you feel or believe that you may be also.
It is irresponsible and contrary to the spirit of marriage... (read in full...)
AS soon as things get serious I freak out and start giving mixed signals, what can I do to stop this from happening again and again?
Q. i don't have a problem getting guys but i have a major problem keeping them. At first everythings always going really well and i'm this funny interesting girl.. and then when i realise the guy actually really likes me i freak out, i don't know what ...
A. 1 January 2008: 'but it's like the thought of not being single scares me' I think you have a serious problem and the above quatation explains why. But why are you afraid of not being seingle again? Do you have this obsession, addiction of being available and s... (read in full...)
Are men really that unsure about relationships? Is it just better to maintain a strict no contact policy from now?
Q. Happy New Year everyone. Well, I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago and even though I made it clear that I couldn't be his friend- not now anyway- he calls often. Last night, he came to my place- we live three hours away by train. Said he ...
A. 1 January 2008: I am not a believer of frieendship among exes. he is being miserable and needy and weak by behaving like this. It is ridicilous behaviour. I definetly think by maintaning contact with him you are also letting him to interfere in your life and migh... (read in full...)
My wife and mother of my child admitted she has been cheating accusing the fact she's been feeling neglected. Now I doubt her fidelity during the 2 years she spent abroad. What can you advise?
Q. Hello everyone, I just came across this site some few days ago as part of my grieving for what has dramatically happened in my marriage of four years now. Looking at the questions and the invaluable advice that has been given to other people in ...
A. 30 December 2007: You are a successful educated person with a promising career. She has cheated on you twice, and even your parents know this. So the town know it. Society matter, and your character will be tainted in the eyes of people around you if you swallow this ... (read in full...)
How could it happen that the next day after asking me for reconciliation, they declared their love for each other and became a couple?
Q. I decided to end my relationship with my alcholic boyfriend 3 months ago - we were together over 5 years, living and working together 24/7. He spent a week in hospital early in 2007 where he underwent detox and suffered the most dreadful ...
A. 30 December 2007: Reading your post, I can readily agree, you are an intelligent well read lady. So it is time to be strong too. Because, although you clearly see the mental state of this man, you are not able to take his behaviour.
Most of his brain cells are alr... (read in full...)
I love her very much but am scared we have been living a lie.
Q. My wife and I met 20 years ago and it was love at first sight. She and I had both had lots of lovers before and I had been married. On our first date she said something to me that I took with a pinch of salt and thought she was joking. "I am a ...
A. 29 December 2007: I do not think it will get better. she is fit, full of energy, want to have an active life, is not interested in you, getting bored, rude to the extreme...
I don't like your wife, I cannot comprehend how you let her tell you or how she found the ... (read in full...)
I moved with my family in Turkey to be near my bf. He has proposed to me but the fact he at times ignores me for days is confusing to the point I'd travel back to UK. Your thoughts?
Q. Ok before I even start I know I am stupid for putting myself in this situation but I dont know where to turn or what to do. I have been with my turksih bf for over a year. we are living apart however i moved to turkey just over 3 months ago with ...
A. 29 December 2007: Ok. I understand your situation cause I am in Turkey also. I am sorry to say that you are being misled. I do not know how you met him but if you met him on the beach or at a club I would get more suspicious.
In anycase the situation is clear and ... (read in full...)
Is the letter my wife sent to her male friend real or fantasy? She said she was only playing.
Q. I am a married male of 14 yrs - I recently caught an email that my wife sent to a male friend and collegue of hers - who is married as well. Below is the exact note: "If I could close my eyes and then open them only to find myself there in the roo...
A. 29 December 2007: I love it when you watch me..........when you don't know....what I'm going to do next
Come on...The above excerpt clearly implies that she has done it before.
Does she deserve your love? She looks like she likes and enjoy it. I wouldn't give her... (read in full...)
He told me he will have lunch with his ex and mentioned some bad things about her, why would he talk negatively about her to me?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month. I know a month is not long at all, but we see each other pretty often, talk every day and he seems to be really into me. We are both 25. He went to visit his family in his hometown for the holidays and ...
A. 29 December 2007: He means what he says. he did not have to say it, but for the sake of being truthful he said it in passing and he doesn't want you to be bothered or get uncomfortable about her.
He is a nice guy.... (read in full...)
How do I refrain from reminding her all the time of her infidelities, as I do want to continue together for the children's sake but it's hard to bury the past?
Q. i have been with my partner for 11 years, and she has cheated on me three times,the last one was the worst cos it was with my best mate,i love her to bits,but every time we argue i always bring it up i dont mean to but it happens,how can i get it ...
A. 29 December 2007: It requires a huge heart and stomach to continue loving a cheater.
I don't think cheaters deserve to be loved, you are making a mockery of yourself, believe me, in the eyes of your partner.
She doesn't love you, she is sleazy and weak and probably... (read in full...)
All I do is flirt and talk sexy for harmless fun, yet he sees it as cheating. Am I mad to be with such a man?
Q. I am horrified to find my fiance has been using aliases to make dates with me on chat sites. When he found my first profile i changed it. Somehow he found my other and strung me along. I am livid. How dare he! I feel invaded, he is pathetic. Sad ...
A. 29 December 2007: He says, he is your 'fiance' Do you or do you not think a female who is engaged is single.
When you declare single it means you are available. And to my knowledge in most of the dating sites there are options like, in a relationship or prefer not ... (read in full...)
I have good reason to think he cheated....how can I get over this?
Q. Hi, I have a dilema and need some advice. I have a strong suspicion that my hubby of 7 years cheated on me, I just don't know what type of cheating. 2 years ago I found a receipt for cell phone minutes. The problem is that he never had a cell pho...
A. 25 December 2007: He looks like a typical cheater and like most cheater believes in the myth that even if you are caught on it keep denying it. you have gotto show this man that you mean business. Other wise he will go about the things business as usual and cheat ... (read in full...)
Why is he telling me about her and is she real??
Q. My ex fiance called me and left me a nasty message saying how his family and friends think I am so heartless for not returning his calls. I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive and manipulative and told him never to contact me repea...
A. 25 December 2007: I understand you very well, because I did similar things to my girlfriend in the past. I don't judge my behavior, was emotional and, -I was trying to hurt her -I was trying to get back to her, by making her jealous -I was kind of seeing someone, ... (read in full...)
My bf has trust issues for years now and I don't think any proof is enough for him. Do I stay or leave him?
Q. My boyfriend of 4 years thinks that i have cheated on him, which i haven't. This has been going on for years now and i don't no what to do. I don't think he will ever believe me and there is no way for me to prove it. i love him so much, but i do...
A. 23 December 2007: Look straight in the eye, and tell him without blinking that you have always been loyal to him in every sense of the word. ... (read in full...)
I want my Turkish bf to come to England but don't want to have to marry me.
Q. I need help really badly! I really love my Turkish boyfriend and i really want him to come to England but i don't want to marry him as i am a bit too young as you no alot of people say turkish men only want one thing. I know he doesn't, i love ...
A. 23 December 2007: If Turkish man (I am turkish) want only one thing (that is sex) why are you saying you don't want to marry him? What a paradox, so a lot of people are wrong. Turkish man do not want sex only but want commitment also.
As for this urban legend, ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a stripper and it is driving me crazy!! Is lap dancing to be considered cheating? I don't want to loose her, how do I deal with this?
Q. heres my question im in love with a woman who ive been with for the last three years on and off, we are talking again. the problem is that she is a stripper. i have mixed feelings about the whole thing, she has quit for me in the past but this tim...
A. 23 December 2007: Who wont be bothered by such kind of job. I mean no normal man for God's sake would tolerate such a situation.
Will you be able to tell your parents or social circles you date a stripper, lap dancer. Is it do you think a job which doesn't invo... (read in full...)
Happy Xmas from DearCupid
Q. Happy Xmas everyone :-) The aunts who share their wisdom, the people who share their questions and the team of moderators who keep everything flowing onto the site! Plus the 350,000 people who visit each month Have a great Xmas! Feel free t...
A. 23 December 2007: Hi everyone, Andy
This is Samutsen
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to You all.
(For soem strange reasons Samutsens messages are blocked) So I am sending my answers or messages under this pseudonym.
... (read in full...)
Any advice on getting past something like this - an infidelity? How to forgive?
Q. I'm 37 years old and I've been with my wife for 16 years. I just found out that she's had an affair with a person at her job… We seem to both want to work things out but I’m not sure I can put that behind me, at least not anytime soon… Any advice on ...
A. 23 December 2007: I do not think you will ever get over it completely. Remember Frasier, where he finds out his father's agony, years, years later, over the cheating of his mother. But it is your call. You will be better off, if you really want to forgive and forg... (read in full...)
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