A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This is going to sound really bad…but I have been in love with my wife’s sister for the past six years. I have only been married for five years and I got married for the wrong reasons. I am completely miserable. My sister in-law and I are very close and she knows that I like her. Everything about her is so intoxicating. We share the same interest and she makes me feel incredible when I am around her. I think about her when I eat sleep and work. I seriously can not concentrate on anything for the life of me. My feelings for her are to strong. It is the most painful situation I have ever been in. I don’t want to ruin a relationship between sisters… it’s not right. I have been thinking about moving away so I can forget about both of them. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Feelings are the most insignificant things in these situations.
Be strong and act intelligently !
Good Luck ! !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): I know exactly how you feel but my situation is worse I live with my sister and her husband and I have been having an affair with him for the last year. I love him and I know its wrong but they also married for the wrong reason. I think I fell in love with the moment we met it was like something inside me woke up and I tried to hide my feelings towards him pretending that I hate him but it made things worse. I am ending this relationship by moving away for a while to see if I meet someone else I can forget him. I wish you luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): I am in a very similar situation to you. I am in love with my husband's brother. I also got married for perhaps the wrong reasons as did my brother in law who also has 2 kids. I do however get on very well with my husband and am quite happy when I can get my brother in law out of my head.The difference - my brother in law and I have had very brief on and off flings for the last year or so. We have only slept together on 2 occasions however. We both know that this was a terrible thing to have done and are continuously fighting to prevent it ever happening again. So far no one has found out and that is the way that we both intend it to stay.I know how it feels to be completely crazy about someone you know you can't have and how it feels to desperately figure out a way that you could make things work between you, but it won't happen.The fact is that for you to be together with your sister in law too many people will get hurt and in the end this would only put a strain on the relationship between you and your sister in law that it might not be able to handle.My advice would definately be that no matter how difficult it might be, and how tempted you might get, don't take the next step with your wife's sister. You will only feel the pain a million times worse if you do what I have done knowing that you still cannot be together but with a whole heap of guilt to deal with as well.If you do not want to be with your wife then you should probably end it with her and move away and start a new life - you are probably only with her to stay close to your sister in law anyway.I know that the advice I am giving you is probably quite hypocritical but believe me when I tell you that in the end it is not worth it - get away if you can and give yourself, your wife and your sister in law the chance to be happy again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): It gets even worse... My sister in-law is moving in with my wife and I in two weeks. I wish to God that I never had feelings for her. It’s just too hard to deal with.
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A
male
reader, Uraz  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 It is a difficult situation and I think I understand you when you said you married your wife because of wrong reasons...ie not love...Although this situation is hard and kind of ugly, it is not that uncommon, as it appears. It happens, rightly or wrongly, it happens and even continues covertly in many societies, east and west, unfortunately.As you said if you disclose it somewhow, you will destroy your wife, ruing the relationship between the sister and probably, you will have a relationship with the sister tainted with guilty conscious and enduring sadness.Try as much as you can to stick to your wife, never attemt anything with the sister and see whether it can work.But in spite of huge obstacles and problems, you want to try with the sister, I do not think this would be in itself the most absurd ugly uncommon relationship. Because it happens. But you have to consider and accept the consequences.
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A
female
reader, CaliGurl +, writes (3 January 2008):
You say you got married to your wife for the wrong reasons, but you must love her somewhat, correct? You are still young and perhaps are going through a life change that I think perhaps we all endure, but you shouldn't stray towards your wife's sister. If you have any love for your wife then maybe you should consider seeking counseling either alone or with your wife. I just feel that the bottom line is that if there is any love between you and your wife, then you have to believe that you CAN make it work! As for the sister-in-law, you have to tuck those feelings away because if you do so then they will likely fade eventually away, especially because she is likely to move on with her own life.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 I think that you should just keep this to yourself and get on with your marriage. As you say if you did do something about it you would untimately be breaking up a relationship between two sisters, which would be a real sad story. You say you like her, but if you did say something would she reciprocate the feelings and ultimately betray her own flesh and blood. I stongly suggest you don't say anything, there would never be a happy ending here, a people would get seriously hurt. If you feel you can't control your emotions and feelings then maybe you should consider moving away like you said.
Good luck
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