A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm just being nosy and curious, I suppose, but I just wanted to know about peoples sex lives.Of course, most people will make out that they have sex every night, they do this that and the other...But really...There must be some people who have long abandoned sex. There must be people in their 60's more sexually active than people in their 20's. Do people do it mostly in the evening? Or morning? How many times a week?Personally my boyfriend and I go through phases. Sometimes a few weeks with none, some weeks we'll have it 5-6 times, sometimes twice a night. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2008): I am 28 and my wife is 26. How often do we have sex?It varies enormously. Sometimes nothing for three weeks other times every night.Once did it seven times in a memorable night.
A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (5 January 2008):
It's interesting that few want to answer your question in the first-person, but prefer to talk about surveys, averages, and what "they say" (whoever "they" are!).
I was 23 and a wedding night virgin when I started having sex. (You can read about it in the thread "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night..." here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html ) My wife and I did it 5 times in the first day of our marriage.
Until we were 30 or so, we probably did it 5 - 10 times per week. There were few days that we missed, and often enjoyed it twice a day. That was in the historical era known as "B.C." - before children. After that it became a lot more irregular, and normal effects of aging set in. Stressful events, like a seriously sick kid or the fact that I'm not good enough to keep a job, seemed to cause drastic swings: 2 or 3 times per day for a few days, followed by a week or more without any (or vice versa).
Now we are in our mid 50's, youngest kid is in college, I'm out of work, and we're both doing pick-up jobs sometimes 50 hours a week. Sex is down to once or twice per month. I suspect it would be more like once or twice a week if our schedules and financial situation were more stable.
One of the things we learned early in our marriage is that many of our cultural stereotypes about sexual practices are pure B.S.
You're "supposed" to have sex at bedtime, right? Well, sometimes. Our best relational sex often happened in the morning. A wonderfully loving way to start a day, rather than end it. Especially if we could make love, then cuddle and snooze for a bit before the alarm.
The guy gets on top and she spreads her legs, right? Only if it's a quickie just for him. Our most common sequence of positions started the intercourse with her on top, with my legs outside hers. She can use her hip movements and thigh muscles to make things touch "just right" in that position. We usually shifted to another position, often the "proper" missionary position but sometimes doggy or spoons, when it was my turn to cum.
It takes a lot of skill and effort for a guy to bring a girl to orgasm, but sex is satisfying for her even if she climaxes infrequently. Not the gal I married! We had to work a little bit (work??? it was a lot of fun!!) to "teach" us how to bring her to orgasm, but over 30 plus years she has easily enjoyed at least two (maybe 3 or more) for every one of mine. That includes the times when she DID say, "Enjoy me - this time is for you.". It's disgustingly unfair that guys get shortchanged like that!
Every couple should work toward simultaneous orgasm as the most satisfying sexual experience. Oh, p-l-l-e-e-e-a-a-s-s-e!! I think this myth is officially dead, but was quite alive through the mid 1970's. The folks who published it probably never saw real people make love. "Come together" is sometimes very enjoyable when it happens spontaneously but when BOTH of you are in a good mattress-thrashing, scream-into-the-pillow, climax you don't get to enjoy and savor your partner's ecstacy, and things quickly get disconnected and out of place just when you want them connected and carefully placed.
Sex is a profound, mystical expression of two people's love. Yes, it can be. Sometimes it's a special way to intimately pleasure and comfort somebody you care deeply for. Sometimes it's a way to reaffirm your lifelong partnership. And sometimes it's a fun, recreational activity you enjoy with your Very Best Friend.
(I didn't mention the stereotype of giving oral sex ("going down") on a girl. Fortunately, by the time I was becoming an adult that had stopped bing an "unnatural act". Unfortunately, I get the feeling that it has become almost an expectation - not only as something a guy MUST do, but as something a girl MUST enjoy more than any other thing. Well, wrap your thighs around my ears, because I love to do it and my wife loves to receive it. But I don't think that's the way it is for everybody, and I don't think anybody should be afraid to admit that cunnilingus just isn't their favorite thing.)
So . . . does that help with your research?
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A
female
reader, sxcarshalz  +, writes (5 January 2008):
everyone is different depending on how often you get horny. my bf and i go through phases 3 times a week sometimes 1 or none just depends on what you want. i mainly do it at night only because of my parrants are in the house but when there out during the day but we hardly ever do it in the day once in a blue moon. sex also slows alot down when you both have jobs because you become to tired to do it.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (5 January 2008):
 Due to different problems as well as unknown reasons my wife has lost most of her sex drive several years ago. I am fortunate to get it eight to 10 times a year.
Even less since the latter part of 2006 since she had her gallbladder taken out, a couple of months later had a hysterectomy and about six months after that had back surgery to fuse three of her lumbar vertibrae. She may still need another surgery to have the hardware removed.
You can be sure it has been even less lately.
She says, however, that she really enjoys it when we do have it and she doesn't know why she desires it less now since she couldn't get enough when we were younger.
I hope this helps with your survey. Doc
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): I don't have a sex life yet. I'm waiting until marriage.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Why has no one understood what she has asked?
She only wanted to know about YOUR sex lives. Don't answer if you don't want to. Sheesh.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): Quality not quantity - always more important.
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A
male
reader, Uraz  +, writes (4 January 2008):
 it depends on the couples.
Most couples in their 20s and 30s would do it in and around weekends 2-3 times a week at nights.
But many couples do it less, like once a week or even once in ten days or even lesser.
Sometimes they would try to do it, for a change, in the living room, kitchen, and yes bathroom.
Mornings may happen, every now and then.
yes it happens that a couple may take a break of ten days and start getting kinky and have it 7 times in one week.
In your case it sounds good indeed and theres nothing to envy what the others might be doing:)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2008): If you want to know that much, ask your friends, parents, or even a doctor. What I can tell you is that you can't expect to know the sexual lives of everybody, and the answers you are expecting to receive are quite impossible to get.
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