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female
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anonymous
writes: My ex fiance called me and left me a nasty message saying how his family and friends think I am so heartless for not returning his calls. I broke up with him because he was emotionally abusive and manipulative and told him never to contact me repeatedly. I think it's strange how earlier today he texted me saying how he was dating some girl and how she actually cares about him, while just yesterday and tonight he was telling me how much he loved me. Out of weakness and defense for myself I called him and told him to stop contacting me. He said he never remembered me asking him not to contact me but I asked several times. I asked if he was in fact dating someone and he said he had gone on three dates with her but that it wasn't serious. I asked if she knew about me and he said he told her how he calls me and everything (more like harasses me) and he said she thought it showed how he was a good person. Am I missing something here? Why would she be okay with the fact that he is still in love with me and contacting me? Just yesertday he was telling me that I should fly out there to see him at our spot on the beach where he proposed and try to make things work with him. It was so hurtful and he kept saying how he was alone on Christmas and sad, and I told him to call the girl he was dating. Why is he telling me about her? Just to hurt me? I know I shouldn't have called him, but I hung up saying I never wanted to talk to him and then texted him saying how he is to never contact me again and sarcastically thanked him for trying to ruin my Christmas. Is this girl he dating real? Why would he do this to me? Then he texted me back saying how he only wanted to talk about good things with me and how I only talked about bad things and how he never would have done that. What is wrong with him?! I think now I definately should change my number for my own sanity. I have been crying my eyes out.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (25 December 2007):
 Hi Sweetie,
Yes to all of the worst things that you were thinking about him. He has a lot of the classic trademark signs of becoming a controlling, abusive partner. You should change your number. You don't owe him or his family any explanations. Dry your eyes and look to the future. Consider it a learning experience, he has taught you where to draw the bottom line in a relationship. You were wise to leave in the first place and you do deserve better. Wishing you happiness in 2008.
A
male
reader, Uraz  +, writes (25 December 2007):
 I understand you very well, because I did similar things to my girlfriend in the past. I don't judge my behavior, was emotional and,-I was trying to hurt her-I was trying to get back to her, by making her jealous-I was kind of seeing someone, but there wasn't anything serious and i really did not like her nor wanted her-I kind of overblew her (the third person) interest in me whan talking about.I think the guy over-passionately loves you, wants to get back and in addition a little angry at you. (Did you do something to him, hurt him in anyway)I don't think, if you get back to her, he will make you unhappy. He really cares about you. I hope you can make it together.And you got jealous of him, because you still have feelings towards him.talk to him, in serenity, and tell him you need time, distance and peace of mind to think about you and him.May be it will help. And there is nothing to be insane about. He will be yours, yours and yours only if you want to. If you don't want him, he will chase you but not hurt you , you can always change your number. So be happy, calm down, and know there is a man madly in love with you.Marry Christmas...Take care...
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A
male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (25 December 2007):
You did the right thing to get out of an abusive relationship, STAY OUT OF IT. Merry Christmas.
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