A
male
age
,
*aulsy
writes:My wife and I met 20 years ago and it was love at first sight. She and I had both had lots of lovers before and I had been married. On our first date she said something to me that I took with a pinch of salt and thought she was joking. "I am a lesbian".It did not stop us having sex that first night, and she told me she had never had so many orgasms as she had that night.We courted and lived together and eventually married and had one son, who is now 13. Our sex life has always been amazing, until about two years ago, when I thought we had both got into a rutt, it was the same just sex on a Sunday morning, though on vacation it was a lot better.About a month ago I went to Spain on business and broke my leg. When I returned I noticed a change in my wife, she was angry with me and said she had not missed me, she said there was not time to miss me.That night I needed a phone number of a friend, which was stored on my wifes phone. I was then absolutely knocked for six. I discovered a text message to my wife from a long standing friend, which went into sexual detail of things he wanted to be doing with my wife. On confrontation my wife said that she had been texting him while I was away and that it was just fun. She then told me that she had lost all sexual desire for me, though she still loved me. She said she had lost her sex drive. She is 46 and I am 62. I was devastated as I love my wife with all my heart. It was then that I found my friends number on my wifes mobile phone so I changed one of the digits so she could not reach him again.Each night I checked to see if my wife had been texting him, but each night the text messages had all be cleaned off the phone. She promised me that she would try and make a go of it again with me and there would be no more texting. I then went through her phone and found his number under a different name. I was again devastated and confronted her again. She swore to me that she had never tried to get in touch with him again, but when she realised that I had found the number under a secret name she came clean. She admitted that she had tried to call him and realised that the number was wrong and had got the number from my diary and put it into her phone again. She could not tell me why she had done this. We have now removed the phone number from everywhere in the house, but I am still confused.She then said she wants to go away on holiday with her friend, somewhere in the sun, lots of women go on holiday with their friends, she said I am too possesive and clingy.She has been going to the gym every day for the last two years and she is now looking amazing and has a beautiful body. She says she still has no sex drive and I should trust her.I told her that I would never mention the incident again and I would let her go on holiday with her friend, but I am worried to death that she will meet someone else while she is away. The way she looks she will attract men like wasps on jam. I have tried holding hands with her, kissing her, cuddling her but it is all cold. We have had sex several times but I know her heart is not in it and this is having an effect on me. She lies there like a dummy and just can't bring herself to give herself to me.I love her so much and I am now scared that she may have been living a lie all these years and the first words she said to me were true, that she is a lesbian.I have had suspicions over the years the way she looks at women, I have seen her touching women on the odd occasion but thought nothing of it. I really wish she was honest with me because if she wanted a lesbian relationship I could live with that as long as she was happy with me. I am at my witts end with this and my heart is breaking, can anyone give me some advise as to what to do?
View related questions:
kissing, lesbian, on holiday, orgasm, sex drive, sex life, she lies, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Uraz  +, writes (29 December 2007):
 I do not think it will get better. she is fit, full of energy, want to have an active life, is not interested in you, getting bored, rude to the extreme...
I don't like your wife, I cannot comprehend how you let her tell you or how she found the courage to tell you she didn't miss you.
You will lose her. But as you lose her you will get a lot of harm on the way. Now you are making a mockery of yourself by agreeing to your wifes lesbian links.
Even then, you wont be in peace it wont be the same again.
You are getting weaker, miserable and loser.
Cant you just leave her and start a a life from scratch.
She is a bitch man...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): My heart aches reading this,
She needs to come clean with you, both of you have to sit down and calmly talk, no one deserves to be hurt like this and you dont think your son doesn't feel this, he is 13 he knows something is up, my 13 year old daughter knew what was going on before I even knew about the father's infidelity. You need to find out, it will be devastating, but you deserve to know the truth to move on...She probably hurts to since it looks like she has been trying to stay with you, she must really love you, she is trying to be something she is not for the sake of staying with you, you sound like a good hearted person, at least the both of you have a wonderful child out of the marriage a great support for the both...think of your son.
...............................
|
