A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: i have been with my partner for 11 years, and she has cheated on me three times,the last one was the worst cos it was with my best mate,i love her to bits,but every time we argue i always bring it up i dont mean to but it happens,how can i get it out of my head as it's distroying me,i want to spend the rest of my life with her,we have five kids together and none of us will leave cos of the kids,i want her back but she dont want me because of the way i am about her affair,this is the third time she as done it to me,what can i do,please help me
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tony Williams +, writes (29 December 2007):
Three times is too many....
Sorry but you have to wake up and move on.
A
male
reader, Uraz  +, writes (29 December 2007):
 It requires a huge heart and stomach to continue loving a cheater.
I don't think cheaters deserve to be loved, you are making a mockery of yourself, believe me, in the eyes of your partner.
She doesn't love you, she is sleazy and weak and probably not a good mother. (A cheater cannot make a good mother anyways)
She will cheat again.
Will you tolerate it once again? Even for your kids sake?
And it is dangerous and ugly to stay with her too. Think of your friends (they must all know whats going on).
You should not stay together.
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A
female
reader, mama2three  +, writes (29 December 2007):
 You need to seek joint counseling. Find out what about your relationship is not working for her, and work on that. Find out why she's cheated multiple times, there may be something that is an easy fix in your relationship.
My dad cheated on my mom for YEARS, and they both waited until my brother and I were older and out of the house to get a divorce, but it was a HORRIBLE situation at home for us while we were growing up. If you can't live amicably with your wife, I think you need to go your seperate ways. Believe it or not, it may be *better* for your kids!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): I don't think there is a way to forget it. My partner cheated on me numerous times and I always forgave her but it was at the back of my mind constantly. Then she eventually got very attached to one of the guys and left me for him. It was the best thing she ever did for me. I'm a single Dad now and I'm a thousand times happier and the kids are happier too without me and their Mom arguing.
Good luck.
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