Help this stressed out hubby whose wife was sending naughty texts to another man!
Q. A few months ago I started suspecting my wife was sending naughty messages to one of the truck drivers that delivers to her work. I asked her about it and she said it was just a friend and they talk about their day and nothing more then that. We ...
A. 29 March 2010: OMG. Read some of my posts and you will find this is exactly what happened to me.
My husband also told me it was just a game but some of the texts I saw were emotionally loving and that hurt more than the sexy ones.
It has been nearly 2 years si... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me with my doubts about counselors?
Q. Can someone please enlighten me? I am very skeptical about the role of counselors in helping with marriage problems. Several people in reply to my posts have suggested seeing a counselor to get things out in the open and get answers to quest...
A. 16 February 2010: How do you or the counselor know what is the truth and if everything has been 'declared' any more than you do without a counselor though?
My husband has suggested a counselor and tried to explain why he did it, he even suggested taking a lie dete... (read in full...)
Does the hurt and pain EVER go away or at least ease?
Q. It's me again, Well we went out for valentines dinner on Saturday night and it had to happen. I mentioned I suppose I'd be getting a poxy bunch of flowers as usual rather than a heart necklace (like he bought 9 years ago for some woman he got clo...
A. 15 February 2010: Hi Marieclair again,
Yes I can see your point and sometimes it seems that the relationship is not benefiting.
I suppose I am full of anger and spite but it's to the other women. I can't hate him cos I love him.
Many times when we've argued... (read in full...)
Does the hurt and pain EVER go away or at least ease?
Q. It's me again, Well we went out for valentines dinner on Saturday night and it had to happen. I mentioned I suppose I'd be getting a poxy bunch of flowers as usual rather than a heart necklace (like he bought 9 years ago for some woman he got clo...
A. 15 February 2010: Hi Marieclaire,
If you'd followed my story you might understand my pain.
Also, even though the necklace was bought 9 years ago, I only found out late last year and anyway do things get wiped out after so many years like points on a driving ... (read in full...)
My husband bought a gift for another woman!!!
Q. I found out by chance that my husband of 24 years bought a work colleague a 'valentine' gift of a heart necklace this time last year. He actually ordered it on valentines day so it didn't arrive until at least the day or two later. He is saying t...
A. 14 February 2010: I'm sure you all remember me.
Well we've been plodding along trying to have a normal life since my discoveries over the last 2 years of my husband's text cheating/emotional affair etc.
Last night we went out for a valentines dinner and were dri... (read in full...)
Is he keeping these past 'sex texts' as a trophy or something to get off with?
Q. About 6 months ago I found very explicit sex texts on my husband's phone. The texts were between him and his (female) boss. I filed for divorce (because of this and his controlling/bullying behavior)but put the proceedings on hold because I was ...
A. 10 February 2010: Be careful. My husband got a secret pay as you go and continued for another 8 months after I thought he'd stopped due to the shock of me finding sex texts on his contract phone. Only when I found out about that (no evidence, all deleted)did he seem ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with Valentine's Day when it just reminds me of him cheating?
Q. Hi All, You may remember my saga about my text cheating husband with a work colleague. When found out and confronted she told me he'd done that sort of thing before. That alerted alarm bells about a necklace he'd bought for her predecessor in 2...
A. 9 February 2010: Thanks agian Griffo. It will be easier said than done to shut up about them even though I have every good intention.
I know he is with me now but the hurt of the secret relationships he had with them is so, so painful. Even if they were 'only' emot... (read in full...)
How do I cope with Valentine's Day when it just reminds me of him cheating?
Q. Hi All, You may remember my saga about my text cheating husband with a work colleague. When found out and confronted she told me he'd done that sort of thing before. That alerted alarm bells about a necklace he'd bought for her predecessor in 2...
A. 8 February 2010: Thank you Griffo,
What a lovely reply. We have a Valentines meal booked but I'm scared of it going pear shaped cos of my fear of his relationships with these other women.
I'm glad you think men can have a platonic relationship but I can't ac... (read in full...)
Texting affair...
Q. Hi again, I put the following post on last night but the site seemed to be faulty and it didn't appear for hours. I have had one reply but am wondering if due to the fault it wasn't read by many other people. In case you could offer me help and ...
A. 18 January 2010: Thank you friends for taking the time to reply yet again x... (read in full...)
Texting affair...
Q. Hi again, I put the following post on last night but the site seemed to be faulty and it didn't appear for hours. I have had one reply but am wondering if due to the fault it wasn't read by many other people. In case you could offer me help and ...
A. 18 January 2010: Hi Boo,
What's more important at this moment in time IS finding out the exact details of their 'relationship'. I can then make an informed decision of what to do next.
Thanks... (read in full...)
Texting affair...
Q. Hi again, I put the following post on last night but the site seemed to be faulty and it didn't appear for hours. I have had one reply but am wondering if due to the fault it wasn't read by many other people. In case you could offer me help and ...
A. 17 January 2010: Female reader, why do you think I'm horrible hounding him? They were so emotionally attached that she text she would miss him when we were on holiday because she had fallen for him. She also text him from her holiday with her husband saying 'Love ... (read in full...)
My husband has told me he had a fling with a colleague at work about 2 years ago. How can I get through this?
Q. Married with 3 children under 8 years and as I thought happy. My husband has told me he had a fling with a colleague at work about 2 years ago. According to him it was a lustful affair but he didnt sleep with her. After a few weeks he finished ...
A. 30 October 2009: Hi,
You may have read some of my posts. I discovered my husband having a texting affair over a year ago and then he got a secret phone for another 8 months until I discovered that. The first time one of her texts mentioned that they'd done noth... (read in full...)
Update on text cheating husband...
Q. Hi everyone, This is an update on the situation with my text cheating husband which I posted about a few times. We have recently returned from a cruise which was completely marred by 'her' and spent nearly every day arguing because I kept b...
A. 3 September 2009: My dear female, anonymous reader.
If you are the same lady as before I thank you so much for your concern.
HE is always a darling towards me (apart from the attacks which I instigate).
That's the basis of the problem. He is so loving towards me I... (read in full...)
Update on text cheating husband...
Q. Hi everyone, This is an update on the situation with my text cheating husband which I posted about a few times. We have recently returned from a cruise which was completely marred by 'her' and spent nearly every day arguing because I kept b...
A. 3 September 2009: My dear female, anonymous reader.
If you are the same lady as before I thank you so much for your concern.
HE is always a darling towards me (apart from the attacks which I instigate).
That's the basis of the problem. He is so loving towards me I... (read in full...)
Update on text cheating husband...
Q. Hi everyone, This is an update on the situation with my text cheating husband which I posted about a few times. We have recently returned from a cruise which was completely marred by 'her' and spent nearly every day arguing because I kept b...
A. 2 September 2009: I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, especially my old friends who have followed and tried to help!!
You must feel very frustrated that I don't seem to heed your advice. I DO but, I suppose, in my own way.
You give me the strength to analy... (read in full...)
How do I get through to her?
Q. I need help! I had an emotional affair about 9 months ago but it was because i didnt love my gf "K". The other girl "A" stole my heart and apparently i stole hers. "A" now cant bring herself to trust me so that i may prove that i love her and "K" ...
A. 26 August 2009: If you didn't love "K", why didn't you just finish with her before starting anything with "A"??
Does "A" not trust you because she thinks if you did it to "K" you could do it to her eventually and what input is "K" giving that doesn't help?
I am ... (read in full...)
Cheating by texting....I need advice
Q. My husband and I have been married for over 4 years, we were together for 4 years before we got married. Across our marriage we have the normal peeks and valleys but i have always trusted him 100% in regards to being faithful to me. We still have ...
A. 25 August 2009: OMG, This is a carbon copy of what happened to me (you may have read some of my posts). I read his phone one night and discovered loving texts rather than flirty (which in a way was worse) between him and a colleague who worked at a different p... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my husband is sincere in his commitment?
Q. Just me asking for your opinions again. I know you might think I'm stupid because obviously I know my husband better than anyone out there but I need constant reassurance. Well, since I last posted I've tried really hard to not cause any upset ...
A. 6 August 2009: Thanks ladies, you talk a lot of sense!!!! It's just me that needs to heed it. I will try, promise xx... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my husband is sincere in his commitment?
Q. Just me asking for your opinions again. I know you might think I'm stupid because obviously I know my husband better than anyone out there but I need constant reassurance. Well, since I last posted I've tried really hard to not cause any upset ...
A. 5 August 2009: Anon, you are so lovely!!
My h/b is 57 and I am 55. We met at uni when I was 17 and have been in love ever since (apart from that bad spell which as you know led to all this). I don't think (and he maintains) he ever stop... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my husband is sincere in his commitment?
Q. Just me asking for your opinions again. I know you might think I'm stupid because obviously I know my husband better than anyone out there but I need constant reassurance. Well, since I last posted I've tried really hard to not cause any upset ...
A. 4 August 2009: Hi Anon,
If it is the same Anon then thanks very much again for trying to help!!
I would appreciate knowing what you were thinking of telling me but didn't.
As to you hope my husband comes clean with his indescretions, that is really my whole pro... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if my husband is sincere in his commitment?
Q. Just me asking for your opinions again. I know you might think I'm stupid because obviously I know my husband better than anyone out there but I need constant reassurance. Well, since I last posted I've tried really hard to not cause any upset ...
A. 4 August 2009: Thanks Gina for taking the time to support what I believe is right although I'll ALWAYS have doubts x... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for letting a few more old texts ruin my marriage?
Q. Hi everyone, Things have taken a huge turn for the worse. We seemed to have smoothed things out I was looking forward to out 32nd anniversary tomorrow and holiday next week. Anyway, my husband had to put his sim in his old phone as his other i...
A. 29 July 2009: Thanks everyone and especially TTM who has given me a lot of support through private messages.
What you say really makes sense and I'm hoping to act on it straight away.
My husband really has made every effort to make amends and convince me of hi... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for letting a few more old texts ruin my marriage?
Q. Hi everyone, Things have taken a huge turn for the worse. We seemed to have smoothed things out I was looking forward to out 32nd anniversary tomorrow and holiday next week. Anyway, my husband had to put his sim in his old phone as his other i...
A. 29 July 2009: Thanks again Tisha. Your words might be another of the jolts I need. I am wallowing in self pity and you summed it up perfectly that it makes me feel good at the time and then I'm back to square 1.... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for letting a few more old texts ruin my marriage?
Q. Hi everyone, Things have taken a huge turn for the worse. We seemed to have smoothed things out I was looking forward to out 32nd anniversary tomorrow and holiday next week. Anyway, my husband had to put his sim in his old phone as his other i...
A. 29 July 2009: Thank you also Tisha for your constructive advice and analysis. Much appreciated.
I do admit the initial blame but I suppose I am consumed with jealousy and insecurity now,
... (read in full...)
Am I stupid for letting a few more old texts ruin my marriage?
Q. Hi everyone, Things have taken a huge turn for the worse. We seemed to have smoothed things out I was looking forward to out 32nd anniversary tomorrow and holiday next week. Anyway, my husband had to put his sim in his old phone as his other i...
A. 29 July 2009: Hi GrimmReality,
He would certainly have deleted all texts if he had realised they were there.
Wot would you suggest if he didn't crack by the car stage? He is a very accomplished liar. Would you then go to the actual test place?
To the anonym... (read in full...)
I'm the Other Woman...How do I break away from this man?
Q. I need help! Help me get over this mm, I don’t like this relationship that I’m in, as good, great and as much as I love it.. I don’t want to be the other woman.. it hurts.. hurts like hell!!! So help me… how do I break away from this man! I’m ...
A. 27 July 2009: Are either of you actually married? I have been on the other side of the fence as my husband had a texting affair with a married woman. I presume it is over now although I thought that last year and was proved wrong. You are doing the best thing by ... (read in full...)
Who has more to deal with? The cheater or the cheated on?
Q. Hi Aunts, I know this is a very broad question but through your experiences do you think it's the person who's been cheated on or the one who's done the cheating that has more to come to terms with? My husband had a flirtation (which I believe...
A. 22 July 2009: To 'anonymous' who wrote on 22nd July. I REALLY appreciate what you said and you said some very wise things. Yes, you are right, the reason all this started because I was being very unloving due to the menopause (as you'll know if you read my ... (read in full...)
Should I set up a bogus mail account and see if my husband takes the bait?
Q. Further to my earlier post I have been thinking about this........ I have set up a hotmail account using my husband's texting colleague's email address but with a very slight alteration it would be hard to spot. I have used her name for the name...
A. 21 July 2009: Thanks all, I will heed your advice. I was dubious about doing it anyway x... (read in full...)
Should I set up a bogus mail account and see if my husband takes the bait?
Q. Further to my earlier post I have been thinking about this........ I have set up a hotmail account using my husband's texting colleague's email address but with a very slight alteration it would be hard to spot. I have used her name for the name...
A. 20 July 2009: Starlights, if you have read any of my previous posts you'll know only too well why I'm always suspicious of him now!!!!
Livelife, thanks for alerting me to that but what happens if you do actually have 2 contacts with the same name because the pers... (read in full...)
Am I pathetic or is it normal to feel like this for so long?
Q. Hi, Some of you may remember me from a while ago. Last June after going through a very unloving, frigid time due to the menopause (I think) I found my husband had been texting a work colleague and continued to do so (I naively assumed it had stop...
A. 20 July 2009: Baby duck. I thank you so much for that reply, especially the last bit about live in the moment. It has helped a lot x... (read in full...)
I'd like to exorcise his "indiscretion" from my head, but I can't!
Q. Hi, it's me again some time after my last post in April. The wife with the text cheating husband (one of many I'm sure). When I discovered his secret phone he 'came clean' about a few other things one of which was that they 'occasionally' met in ...
A. 26 May 2009: He said he would do anything including counselling and a lie detector test (do they exist in real life?) but I am very sceptical about counselling and think it's just people nosing into your lives. I can't see how anyone can make me come to terms ... (read in full...)
I'd like to exorcise his "indiscretion" from my head, but I can't!
Q. Hi, it's me again some time after my last post in April. The wife with the text cheating husband (one of many I'm sure). When I discovered his secret phone he 'came clean' about a few other things one of which was that they 'occasionally' met in ...
A. 26 May 2009: He DOES know what a mess it is as it's destroying our lives but reckons he's tried all he can to convince me. The trouble is, if he is telling the truth, I'm actually going to end up causing us to split for no good reason but if he is lying I'll ... (read in full...)
I'd like to exorcise his "indiscretion" from my head, but I can't!
Q. Hi, it's me again some time after my last post in April. The wife with the text cheating husband (one of many I'm sure). When I discovered his secret phone he 'came clean' about a few other things one of which was that they 'occasionally' met in ...
A. 26 May 2009: He just keeps saying he has tried his best to help me and explained until he is blue in the face but I can't let it go. It was all just a stupid game and ego boost which I wasn't giving him at that time and he had 2 years of hell when I was so ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for this marriage?
Q. Dear all i need your advice please 15 months have past since i found out about what my h/b had been up to in the 21 years of marriage(cheating,lying,)he has told me some details of the things he has done and i cant get over it.Things are ok for a...
A. 26 May 2009: EXACTLY the same thing has happened to me. I found out about text cheating nearly 12 months ago when I was admittedly being very unloving during the menopause and they became close through some work related issues but then he got a secret pay as you ... (read in full...)
I have a sick feeling of betrayal since he had a texting flirtation!
Q. If your husband of many years had had a texting flirtation lasting 3/4 months with a younger woman (also married) and swore blind it was just a silly game for them both would you be able to carry on life as normal? Would it still be going on if I ...
A. 7 March 2009: Hi anon lady who made the same discovery the other night. I also posted the original question as anon as I couldn't be bothered logging in and also gave the wrong age range by mistake. Would you like to send a reply to my dear cupid mailbox as it ... (read in full...)
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