A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:About 6 months ago I found very explicit sex texts on my husband's phone. The texts were between him and his (female) boss. I filed for divorce (because of this and his controlling/bullying behavior)but put the proceedings on hold because I was feeling sentimental during the holidays and couldn't stand his guilt trip of him telling me that I'm destroying our family. My husband has since gotten a new phone with a new phone number. I thought he got rid of the old phone but just this morning I found his old phone in the bag which he carries back and forth to work each day. The phone was turned off, but I turned it on and found it to be fully charged and all the sex texts between him and his boss were still on the phone. Is he keeping this as a "trophy" or something to get off with?? Why would he keep such a thing? I am I fool? Is something still going on with his boss? I'm very disturbed by this.
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female
reader, scrambled brain  +, writes (10 February 2010):
Be careful. My husband got a secret pay as you go and continued for another 8 months after I thought he'd stopped due to the shock of me finding sex texts on his contract phone.Only when I found out about that (no evidence, all deleted)did he seem really remorseful. He SWORE he needed it to contact her about confidential work problems (which did actually exist) and it was the easiest way to keep in touch.We are still plodding on but I'll NEVER get over it.Could you get the phone when he's asleep and text her something sexy to see if she replies? Bet he's getting away with it if he thinks he can.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (10 February 2010):
Clearly something is wrong if he's kept the phone with the texts on it. Sit down again and tell him what you found. See what he says.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (10 February 2010):
Clearly something inappropriate was going on with his boss. You would think that if he bothered to get a new phone he'd get rid of the old one. Keeping it indicates some sort of sentiment for those messages. I mean the tough part is it's not like he ended it and confessed. He got busted. Any idea of he actually cheated or not? I think you need to sit down with your husband and make a very clear plan on how to move forward healing things between you and what is and isn't acceptable.
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A
female
reader, girl from bristol +, writes (10 February 2010):
how do you know its not more than just texts he should not be sending to his boss at all and should have told her to stop sending him them he is the one ruining your family not you / you have nothing to feel guilty about. how can you trust him when he has sent those texts get rid of him
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