Why do guys string along lots of women at once?
Q. Hi, Why do guys string along lots of women at once? I know this middle aged guy who's about to get married (to his dying fiancé) and has kids, and he has loads of women adoring him at work and is sleeping with many women from work. He's n...
A. 2 April 2014: His life sounds like one huge slow motion train wreck. Some women find train wrecks attractive. If you observe the situation over a longer period of time, I'm willing to bet that almost no one involved in the train wreck will find lasting ... (read in full...)
Can a man control his arousal?
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I have decided to get married before sex. This is his decision. I am divorced on my mid thirties and he is on his mid twenties and saids to be a virgin. Well turns out he's religious aswell. When we kiss and fondle heavily , ...
A. 2 April 2014: In my estimation, he wouldn't have put your hand on his crotch if he was gay.
He might be extremely inexperienced with women and feels anxiety when you touch him. I had this issue when I was younger, but it went away after I'd been with a few wo... (read in full...)
He waited 23 years to express his disappointment. How many people out there did not have sex on their first wedding night?
Q. How many people did not have sex on their wedding night and waited until the honeymoon?? Husband was upset that we did not have sex on wedding night. We did have sex as soon as we arrived at the hotel on the honeymoon. when i tried to explain...
A. 6 September 2011: I can see why it would bother him somewhat not to have sex, but waiting this long to say anything about it is odd (if it really did bother him that much).
Just for the sake of context, did you have sex before you were married? If not, I can unde... (read in full...)
Please help me to accept her past
Q. I’m in my first relationship and have been rocked by a revelation from my girlfriend. I’ve been trying to deal with it myself – for reasons that will become clear I can’t discuss it with friends – but it is driving my insane. I really need some help ...
A. 24 August 2011: I agree with everything Yos said. He is probably one of the most knowledgable and helpful "aunts" on topics such as this. I don't think having answers to your questions would give you peace of mind, even if it were possible to get precise answers.... (read in full...)
Will my strange body movements during an orgasm turn off a guy?
Q. This is kind of an embarrassing question for me. I haven't had sex in my relationships yet, but when I'm on my own (meaning masturbating) I feel that when I orgasm I squirm too much up until when I arch my back becoming stiff, and my lower body ...
A. 11 April 2011: Oh, I forgot to mention that your body movements don't sound "strange" at all to me from the way you've described them. Worrying about things like this will take the enjoyment out of sex.... (read in full...)
Will my strange body movements during an orgasm turn off a guy?
Q. This is kind of an embarrassing question for me. I haven't had sex in my relationships yet, but when I'm on my own (meaning masturbating) I feel that when I orgasm I squirm too much up until when I arch my back becoming stiff, and my lower body ...
A. 11 April 2011: Bring on the extreme! Please!
I've never been bothered by a woman having too much reaction during an orgasm. But, I've been somewhat dissappointed at times if a woman has almost no outward signs of orgasm.
I guess it's possible there might be a... (read in full...)
Does anyone think he loves me?
Q. ok , so after my divorce in 2004 , me and a long time friend who was divorcing too . started to sleep together the first time once , did not see him for 9 months he called apologized and said i did not deserve that , we got to gather a few times a ...
A. 12 March 2011: It's difficult to know what is on his mind, how he feels. I'm sure you have enough experience to know that relationships are often not black and white, love or hate.
My best guess is that he is experiencing a mixture of emotions. He obviousl... (read in full...)
How important is the first love to a man when it is years over?
Q. To men,how important is the first love to a man when it is years over? Does your first love still have a special place in your heart? If you have dated her for 4-5 years,do you still think of her at some point in your life even if you have a new ...
A. 12 March 2011: I have never seen her since we broke up. We live in different states, and she got married fairly soon after we broke up.
At the time we broke up, I had traveled to see her, and we had a very long tearful conversation about getting married ... (read in full...)
How important is the first love to a man when it is years over?
Q. To men,how important is the first love to a man when it is years over? Does your first love still have a special place in your heart? If you have dated her for 4-5 years,do you still think of her at some point in your life even if you have a new ...
A. 5 March 2011: I had many mad crushes on girls when I was in my teens, but none of those are anything other than a reminder of how immature I was at that age. My first real love is very important in some ways. I will always be grateful to her for understanding me ... (read in full...)
My penis size insecurity is driving me completely paranoid!!
Q. I love my girlfriend, I absolutely love her, and she and I are both virgins and aren't going to have sex until we're married. But I'm super self conscious about the size of my penis..I'm 5 1/2 inches fully erect, but if I flex it gets to 6 inches, ...
A. 5 March 2011: I highly doubt your girlfriend is acting just to make you feel better. What she is saying sounds very believable to me. Perhaps a woman could correct me if I'm wrong, but I've been told that even a tampon is quite a tight fit for women who've nev... (read in full...)
Am I ready to settle down with this girl who's sexually more experienced than me or do I need to go away and have more sexual partners?
Q. I am in my early thirties. My girlfriend is in her late twenties. She is my first real girlfriend. Sad I know but I just hadn't been in the right places at the right time to meet that somebody special until last year. Basically I am not exactly Mr ...
A. 5 March 2011: I can understand where you're coming from because I've been in a somewhat similar situation, and I've had similar thoughts. I decided not to act on these thoughts, and I don't regret it for a second. Take some time to think about what is really i... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 23 February 2011: I certainly agree that people can choose to cheat or not, but that's not an answer to the question. It also begs the question: why do people with a specific gene mutation choose to cheat at twice the rate of people who do not have this mutation?
... (read in full...)
Is a cheater always a cheater?
Q. do u think once a cheater is always a cheater? thanks for ur comments in advance....
A. 20 February 2011: There is some evidence that some people are genetically predisposed to cheating:
Your Cheatin' DRD4 Gene Mutation
. . .
Researchers have long suspected that DRD4 would strongly link to promiscuity, and the first study of its kind has ju... (read in full...)
Was it reasonable for me to ask her to remove the guys she had a threesome with from her facebook?
Q. I have been with my fiance for the last 11 months, she has many of her ex-boy freinds on her facebook account which she claims to be good freinds with, This also includes 2 guys who have had a threesome with her, it is a bit confronting and hard ...
A. 2 February 2011: To my mind, you are being reasonable. But, what is "reasonable" is purely subjective, so there is no "right" answer. The real question is whether or not you can be happy being married to someone who is still friends with her exes and men she had ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a sex buddy all the time?
Q. Hey everybody. I have a question; Is it so wrong to have a sex buddie? I mean I'm 19, I'm young I only had sex with 2 guys and the last time I had sex with my last sex buddie was almost 8 months ago. And yes I'm horny I never really like a guy befo...
A. 25 January 2011: Another aspect to consider is that women's bodies release significant amounts of oxytocin, the "bonding hormone" during sex: Oxytocin is also released into the blood during many types of touching; including cuddling, hugging, kissing, orgasm,... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a sex buddy all the time?
Q. Hey everybody. I have a question; Is it so wrong to have a sex buddie? I mean I'm 19, I'm young I only had sex with 2 guys and the last time I had sex with my last sex buddie was almost 8 months ago. And yes I'm horny I never really like a guy befo...
A. 22 January 2011: Here's an interesting discussion of FWBs: http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2009/02/11/hookinguprealities/are-women-cut-out-to-be-friends-with-benefits/... (read in full...)
She says she loves me and no one will ever compare but, I can't help but think what she has already had!
Q. I am really really struggling with insecurity given the amount of guys my girlfirend has slept with and in particular the amount of them that she has admitted had large manhoods - 8-9inc by her reckoning...She was forced into sex work for a year or ...
A. 9 January 2011: I can understand your concern. Given how widespread this concern is amoung men, I can't see how it represents some sort of abnormal preoccupation.
Having said that, your size is probably not much of an issue to your girlfiend. According to a doc... (read in full...)
Does it mean anything when a man holds your face when he kisses you?
Q. Does it mean anything when a man kisses you and holds your face? He cups your face with both hands but is he sending you a message also? Not all men do this? Just looking for opinions? thanks!...
A. 6 January 2011: I only do it if I'm trying to express deeper feelings so it's reserved for special situations.
But, like others have said, it's probably different for different guys. Some guys express emotions they might not feel just to get sex, and it wouldn't... (read in full...)
Girlfriend finds me physically repulsive now
Q. I would like to get a read on what is considered "normal" loss of attraction in a relationship, so I can at least put upper and lower bounds on what would be reasonable as it applies to my circumstances. Backstory: I am 31 years old, and have be...
A. 30 December 2010: I saw a poll recently (I can't find the link right now) showing that somethign like 70% of women would not consider dating a guy who was more than 15 pounds overweight.
I suppose us men could whine about unfair this is, that women are hypocrit... (read in full...)
I was in love with a terminal cancer patient and she passed away...
Q. I need help with laying old ghosts to rest. I'm 17 years old, a senior in high school and for 4 months, I was engaged to 15 year old girl who had terminal Leukemia and CIPA (she couldn't feel any pain or sensation in her entire body 8 months ago, my ...
A. 22 December 2010: That is truely heartbreaking.
I also think you did the right thing. You made her life better. Making someone else's life better is probably the most noble thing a human being can do.
It seems to me the people who are being critical of your... (read in full...)
Shouldn't sex last??
Q. So me and this guy always have sex well kinda we did like 3 times and when we do it's only for like 30 or 40 min .. And idk if he cummed or not or if he had an orgasim or not .. But shouldn't sex last for like an hour or 2 ??? ...
A. 20 December 2010: The only thing that really matters is if you like it. But, here's what one survey of sex therapists had to say:
"ScienceDaily (Apr. 2, 2008) — Satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from 3 to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasy ... (read in full...)
What are your top 5 "Must haves" and "Can't stands"
Q. Poll (just for fun). For women and men, for you, what are the top 5 "MUST HAVES" and the top 5 "CAN'T STANDS" when evaluating members of the opposite sex as a potential lifelong partner? I guess mine would be Must Haves: friendly dispos...
A. 17 December 2010: Wow, good answers all around! I may need to edit my list.... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time thinking that she's been with someone else...
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been dating 2 years, and are in love. I was the first guy she had sex with and she was the first one i had sex with, and this was always really special to me. Recently she told me she was raped when she was 15 and was ...
A. 15 December 2010: I'm not a psychologist, so take the following with a grain of salt.
My sense is that feelings of jealousy originate in an emotional, subconscious part of the brain. If this part of your brain is presented with an image, whether it is a real ima... (read in full...)
I think she got back with me only because she's pregnant
Q. hi, me and my girlfrind have recently got backtogether from a break, but i feel that she has only got back with me because she found out she was pregnant, we have another child together, but i am doubting pperternity of the child she is carrying, as ...
A. 15 December 2010: Be very careful if she wants to get married before the baby is born. I'm not sure what the law is in the UK, but in most (if not all) states here in the US a husband is presumed to be the father of a child born to his wife during marriage. In many ... (read in full...)
Why does she say such hurtful things when drunk?
Q. why does my girlfriend get drunk and starts telling me i don't do anything for her and adds my sex sucks, why does hurt me this way? ...
A. 14 December 2010: Hard to say. It might help if we had a little more informatin about your situation.
Does she get drunk a lot? Are you normally also drunk when she says these things? Does she say these things during drunk arguments? Is she someone who generall... (read in full...)
Who do you prefer, a good boy or a bad boy, both girls and guys opinions matters
Q. Hey this is just a short question. I've been curious, is it true that girls only go for bad boys? I'm usually considered as the good boy which a lot of my female friends told me. So it has always been on my mind for awhile. Girls and guys ...
A. 10 December 2010: It might depend on how you define a "good boy" and "bad boy". I read someplace that there are actually two completely different types of men who both tend to be labeled "bad boys".
According to this way of looking at things, the first type of ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants me to have multiple orgasms
Q. My GF seems to have some concerns over my semen volume and my orgasms lately. She says I sometimes do not cum very much, while other times I cum a LOT. I think she is being a little naive, as many of the times she says I dont cum a lot it is the ...
A. 7 December 2010: Has she specified that she wants you to ejaculate twice in a row, or is she saying she wishes you could learn to have an orgasm without ejaculating? To my mind, if she's asking you to ejaculate twice in a row, her request is utterly ridiculous and ... (read in full...)
What does it feel like when a guy cums inside a woman?
Q. My girlfriend wants to know if it feels if I would come in her. I know the risk and everything but she is just curious. So how does it feel for her? ...
A. 5 December 2010: A question for the prior "anonymous" person. You said "the best part is when the man collapses into you!" I take it you mean when he loses his erection after cumming?
I'm curious because my prior girlfriend said she could feel it when I came bec... (read in full...)
There's always someone out there who is better looking, more intelligent, etc.
Q. I feel very inadequate. My boyfriend is attracted to another girl. She's more intelligent than me, more beautiful (her face is better looking than mine), more physically fit, and more socially skilled. I don't know what to do about it. I'm ...
A. 26 November 2010: There's more to attraction than just looks, intelligence, etc. It often depends on whether or not two personalities compliment each other.
For example, if one person has a strong tendancy to want to lead (e.g. pick the evening's activity... (read in full...)
Do women really prefer more 'masculine' men for sex but less 'masculine' men for relationships?
Q. I've read quite a few articles about evolutionary psychology and the theory that women tend to prefer more masculine men for short term sexual relationships, but prefer less masculine men for long term relationships. As I understand it, the theory ...
A. 22 November 2010: I should have been more precise in the question. By "masculine", I meant facial features such as square jaws and well-defined brow ridges, features that are related to testosterone levels. Here's an example of the type of study I had in mind: "Wom... (read in full...)
Do guys like it when girls get really wet during sex?
Q. Hi. This is my first time on this site, and I can't believe how helpful it has been! My question is: Do guys like it when girls get really wet before/while having sex? I ask this because I tend to get very turned on during sex, and get really ...
A. 17 November 2010: Just a follow up to my earlier post. I'd guess that if you said something like "Oh my god, I am so turned on right now it's practically squirting out!" to a guy he'd get so turned on he'd go nuts. You might not want to say that the very first time ... (read in full...)
Do guys like it when girls get really wet during sex?
Q. Hi. This is my first time on this site, and I can't believe how helpful it has been! My question is: Do guys like it when girls get really wet before/while having sex? I ask this because I tend to get very turned on during sex, and get really ...
A. 17 November 2010: Personally I absolutely love it. The more the better. I'd love it if my woman completely soaked the sheets every time. It's a huge turn-on. I don't mind a bit when it comes to oral either. It lets me know the woman is really into it.
The only thi... (read in full...)
I clamp my legs together during an orgasm. Is this normal?
Q. Hi, im recently with a new partner and our sex life is the best ive ever experienced im experiencing orgasms for the first time in my life, the problem i have that i seem to want to clamp my legs closed in doing this, is this normal????...
A. 8 November 2010: My GF does this. I like it because I know she had an orgasm. The only downside is that if I'm coming at the same time I can't move at all and it significantly reduces my sensations when I cum.... (read in full...)
Retroactive Jealousy: how do I overcome it?
Q. Right, so I am not even really sure how to start this. Basically, I suffer from what many other men (and few women) seem to suffer from as well. Retroactive Jealousy, or "her past"... Its horrible, its utterly disturbing and self destructive. I have ...
A. 23 July 2010: I've experienced various levels of retroactive jealousy, so I can relate. Take the following with a grain of salt as I am not in a way a trained psychologist.
This may or may not help, but I tend to think that RJ is your subconscious mind's w... (read in full...)
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