A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:hi, me and my girlfrind have recently got backtogether from a break, but i feel that she has only got back with me because she found out she was pregnant, we have another child together, but i am doubting pperternity of the child she is carrying, as the last time we had sex was about 5-7 weeks ago and she done tests before we found out about 10 days ago, i have suspicions that she has cheated on me .. but the first question i asked it "is it mine" she looked shocked and replyed "i cant belive you said that, of course it is, the rule of the break was no one else, and i stuck to it."also since getting back together we havent had sex, i feel really unloved although she says the she loves me and claims that she is in love with me.before the break i addressed my worry of her cheating and she said i was being parionoid, please help :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): Get a DNA test when it is possible. It is only fair on all concerned. If you are totally honest about your concerns she should be ok with it, though not over the moon I should imagine. But she needs someone by her side right now and either way you can be there for her. You are in a relationship you are not sure about and with, in time, a baby that you will always wonder if its yours. You need to know for sure - and actually you may find it's yours after all.
A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (15 December 2010):
 You know, she could have cheated and she could have stuck to the rule of no one else. As a current pregnant women, I don't have a sex drive right now and I'm not as affectionate as I usually am and I think that is mainly due to hormone changes.
Get a DNA test done, DO NOT marry her before you get a DNA test and don't agree or sign any papers stating that you are the father until you have a DNA test done. That is the only way to know for sure.
I know you can get a DNA test done before the baby is born, but they aren't very safe for the baby, but that would be up to you and your partner. So talk about it and let her know that you want a DNA test done.
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A
male
reader, Mr Clark +, writes (15 December 2010):
Be very careful if she wants to get married before the baby is born. I'm not sure what the law is in the UK, but in most (if not all) states here in the US a husband is presumed to be the father of a child born to his wife during marriage. In many jurisdictions, the father will have to pay child support for a child born during a marriage even if DNA tests prove the husband is not the biological father.
If she will agree to it, you might be able to get a DNA test done before the baby is born (see, e.g. http://www.dnasolutions.co.uk/prenatal-dna-paternity-test.htm). Either way, I'd get a DNA test done before getting married or agreeing to be the legal father of the child.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2010): easy to check. Get a dna test kit. You take a swab from the inside of your cheek and send it off. When baby is born gentley swab inside of baby's cheek and send it off to be tested too. The test result can predict up to 99% accuracy that you are the father, if you are the father.
In the interim she is the mother of your known child. So be supportive and be kind. You don't need to upset her. You may be the father. Deal with the
paternity concern after baby arrives.
And if you are proved to be the father you may have to be extra concilliatory
towards her to atone for doubting her.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (15 December 2010):
It sounds like you are in anything but a loving and committed relationship with this woman so I would advice you that, whether or not you want to be with her or end up sorting things out that you need to find out whether or not you're the father. If you don't trust her, then get a DNA test done once the baby has been born. Sounds like you are in a really shit position right now, hope things improve for you.
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