If he doesn't find me physically attractive, who is he visualizing in his mind so that he can get aroused?
Q. I thin that the title to my question really say it all, the rest of this is background. While my husband has never come out and said it in a complete sentence, he does not find me physically attractive. He says that our sexual relationship, fo...
A. 25 March 2011: Okay, just to put one thing to rest, I have been in counseling on and off for the last 20 years, 4 different therapists and I get to a point where I hit this roadblock about how I look and they have no answers. (Sorry about the run-on sentence.) I ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't find me physically attractive, who is he visualizing in his mind so that he can get aroused?
Q. I thin that the title to my question really say it all, the rest of this is background. While my husband has never come out and said it in a complete sentence, he does not find me physically attractive. He says that our sexual relationship, fo...
A. 23 March 2011: The Walkin Dude - Sorry, but I want him to be into ALL of me, not JUST my brain. Guys like a hot, sexy, pretty, steamy girl. He doesn't see me that way, so who is he thinking about? Dirtball - I don't get it, I really don't. Didn't you have ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend always teases me and I really don't think he's funny
Q. My bf always seems to have to do something to poke at me or to tear me down a little bit. He thinks I just don't get his sense of humor. As I am the butt of his inane, slightly bullying humor, I guess I don't find his humor sweet and cute, ...
A. 23 March 2011: You are not being a spoil sport. He is being very immature and highly disrespectful. This is not how grown men behave. He thinks he's teasing and being funny. However, you pegged it much better when you referred to it as bullying. That's what it ... (read in full...)
Do all girls shave, down there? what bits need shaving? What styles are there?
Q. Hello everyone, Apparently girls should shave their pubic hair, so I did, however I'm not sure where you actually shave. Say you stood naked infront of a mirror, all the hair you can see - that's what I shaved. Is that right or do you need to shav...
A. 22 March 2011: I'm wondering where you got the idea that girls "SHOULD" shave their pubic hair. Why exactly? I will tell you that I trim up underneath the day before my period is due. And if I'm going to wear a bathing suit (which I haven't in many years) I will ... (read in full...)
Would this be called cheating the new Gf? If I just asked my ex to strip while we were on webcam.
Q. Is it cheating if? Let's say you have a girlfriend. And you know your ex still loves you and you still have feelings for her, but you don't want to be in a relationship with her, but you drunk call her telling her you love her, and miss her, et...
A. 22 March 2011: Yes, it's cheating. And you know it's cheating, you're just looking for someone to say, "Aw gee, it's not that bad." Rule of thumb: Don't do anything that you wouldn't want your current girlfriend to see.... (read in full...)
He always keeps me waiting!
Q. When my boyfriend arranges to pick me up when we go out he is ALWAYS late. If he says 7.30 then its usually 8.00 o clock. He texts and says 8.00 then he will text at 8.oo and say make it 8.15 or sometimes he just turns up half an hour later and says ...
A. 18 March 2011: The list includes (amongst others) my ex-husband, one of my best friends, my dad and... me. What helped me was counseling. Once I recognized what I was doing I could take steps to change it. It was a matter of figuring out what I was mad about, o... (read in full...)
He always keeps me waiting!
Q. When my boyfriend arranges to pick me up when we go out he is ALWAYS late. If he says 7.30 then its usually 8.00 o clock. He texts and says 8.00 then he will text at 8.oo and say make it 8.15 or sometimes he just turns up half an hour later and says ...
A. 17 March 2011: I wondered if I would hit a nerve. I've known many people like this, and constantly being late is a big sign.
Please let us know how this works out. Keep in mind that this behavior CAN be overcome, but not until he admits that he has an issue... (read in full...)
He always keeps me waiting!
Q. When my boyfriend arranges to pick me up when we go out he is ALWAYS late. If he says 7.30 then its usually 8.00 o clock. He texts and says 8.00 then he will text at 8.oo and say make it 8.15 or sometimes he just turns up half an hour later and says ...
A. 17 March 2011: Yes, you should say something to him. It is rude and disrespectful. If he means 7:30, then he needs to be there at 7:30, not 8:00. Sometimes, this behavior is passive-aggressive, and you need to watch for that in him. (I'm not saying that he is, ... (read in full...)
Called too soon or is she testing me?
Q. Ok, so here is the situation. 4 weeks ago i started to take this course in school and there is this sweet and cute girl i like. We always sit together since the second week of class (we have 1 class per week so only see her once a week). She caught ...
A. 15 March 2011: It sounds to me like she is a flirt. That isn't a bad thing as long as you realize that this is what she is. She has clearly said that she is "kind of seeing someone." I would take this as a sign that she is taken and that you need to look ... (read in full...)
I absolutely hate my mum. she has the most horrible mood swings in the world.
Q. I absolutely hate my mum. she has the most horrible mood swings in the world. when she is in a bad mood, she makes me feel like Im not wanted, and when I talk to dad, he isnt interested or takes her side so i feel totally alone in my house, having ...
A. 15 March 2011: You pegged it when you said that she has horrible mood swings. Your mother is ill and needs help. Unfortunately, you aren't the one who can guide her to that. It sounds like your father is in denial, so I don't know that talking to him will help. ... (read in full...)
My family life is beyond miserable!
Q. Hi, so im 20 years old, and my family life is beyond miserable. at age 13 i learned my mom was cheating on my dad, so i told him thinking it was the best idea. It wasn't, instead he started to rape me and use me sexually as a way to get back at ...
A. 15 March 2011: You are in a dangerous situation! GET OUT NOW. Pack your stuff, grab your money and go. As soon as possible, get some professional help. The horrible things that you have been through have emotional repercussions that you'll need to deal with.
... (read in full...)
My husband threatens an affair everytime I say no to sex.
Q. I have never had as strong a sex drive as my husband (married 8 yrs). I know it's always been a problem, but for the last year everytime I say no to sex. He tells me he's gonna go out and have an affair. This really hurt me and when I told him so ...
A. 15 March 2011: It seems like he isn't really hearing what you're saying. I think that if you could get him to go some joint counseling, you might be able to work it out. You say that he's a good husband and a good man. If that's so, he will be willing to work ... (read in full...)
Does he really NOT ever want a girlfriend???
Q. So I really like this guy and a lot of times he seems like he likes me but he is really into sports and always says that he doesnt have time to have a girlfriend. Whenever I mention subtle things about him getting a gf hes like ha me? girlfriend? im ...
A. 15 March 2011: I would believe him. At this point in his life, he doesn't want a girlfriend. Assuming that he is in your age range, it's not unusual for him to be taken up with sports. And, it doesn't mean that things won't change when he's older. My ... (read in full...)
I feel sorry for his fiancé!
Q. My guy friend/co-worker has been engaged for 3 years. Lately he has been physically affectionate, tight hugs, lots of cheek kisses, caressing my face. I am not closely acquainted to his fiancé but I'm pretty sure this is not normal before for a man ...
A. 12 March 2011: Of course this isn't appropriate behavior! As for normal, well, it's not normal for a man who loves his fiancee and is looking forward to getting married.
The next time he starts to touch, hug or kiss you, tell him "No" very firmly and move del... (read in full...)
Advice on internet dating!
Q. Hi 32 yr old guy here. Not having much luck on Internet dating so it would be really great if any of you girls could give me an honest feedback on my profile as I’m not getting many replies Here’s how it reads Just a normal guy! Easy going,...
A. 11 March 2011: Well??? Have you had any more luck?... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't go anywhere or do anything with me but will with friend!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, this will be our third year together. We never go out during the week, and I always though it was alright because he works during the week, but when the weekend comes around we never go out ...
A. 11 March 2011: Well, I guess you need to tell him that this isn't your version of "doing something." I know, easier said than done. Yet, if it's that difficult for you to live with the situation, it's time to say something.
Maybe you can take the initiati... (read in full...)
B/f doesn't go anywhere or do anything with me but will with friend!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, this will be our third year together. We never go out during the week, and I always though it was alright because he works during the week, but when the weekend comes around we never go out ...
A. 10 March 2011: What does he say when you ask him why this is? That's the only way you're going to find out. Once you have the answer to that, you can decide if this is a deal breaker or not. You'll need to say it calmly and in a non-threatening ... (read in full...)
He's distanced himself from me since I asked if we could move in together...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and we are very close and I thought it was time to ask him to move in with me so i did but its only worked the other way, we see less and less of each other since i asked. Is it because he doesnt ...
A. 10 March 2011: This is a bit like proposing to someone, then she (or he!) says no and expecting to continue dating. It's hard to take back. The only thing you can do is tell him that you didn't intend to make him uncomfortable and that he can consider the subject ... (read in full...)
What did he mean by his comment?
Q. ok, maybe some of you can decipher this. what does it mean while having sex, your boyfriend grabs your thigh, squeezes it and says, this is what I want not some stick. I'm not fat, but I'm not a stick either. it totally took me out of the mood and i ...
A. 10 March 2011: It's a compliment. He likes your body and doesn't want to be with some scrawny, sickly female. Accept it, be grateful for it and smile.... (read in full...)
He makes me feel like a good wife and friend, but not like an attractive woman
Q. I've talked about this once before here, and if it's a complete repeat, I apologize. My husband is good about expressing his appreciation for things that I do around the house or for him. He talks to me about work things, etc. We have conversa...
A. 28 February 2011: The issue at hand isn't about re-training him, or about the validity of my wants. I have one thing that I need to do and that is to GET OVER wanting him to have any kind of verbal reaction to my physical being. THAT is what I don't know how to do ... (read in full...)
He makes me feel like a good wife and friend, but not like an attractive woman
Q. I've talked about this once before here, and if it's a complete repeat, I apologize. My husband is good about expressing his appreciation for things that I do around the house or for him. He talks to me about work things, etc. We have conversa...
A. 27 February 2011: Abella - That would be excellent advice if I hadn't already done all of that - and far more than once. And I do mean all of it.
I am working on toning and getting the rest of the weight off, but have recently fallen into a slump. I'll get back... (read in full...)
Since announcing my engagement, I've noticed some of my female friends have dropped out of the picture. Why?
Q. I am a male in my late 40s and engaged to be married. I have several male and female friends who I've been friends with for several years. I became engaged this past summer and naturally told all my friends the good news. Since then, I've noticed ...
A. 26 February 2011: Off the top of my head, I have two guesses:
1. They looked at you as date material. You were friends, but maybe they thought there was the possibility of something more.
2. They don't want to make your fiancee jealous. I don't know what ... (read in full...)
She won't reciprocate in the oral department
Q. Hi - I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, however she will not perform oral sex on me. I regularly perform it on her during foreplay, because she enjoys it, just like I do. She has said for the past 18 months on and off that she has had a ...
A. 21 February 2011: You need to talk to her about this when you're not having sex. Be gentle and ask her what it is that she doesn't like about it. If she tries to say that it really was a sore throat for OVER A YEAR, ask her why she hasn't gone to the doctor. No one ... (read in full...)
Should I get him something or wait for him to make a move?
Q. I sit next to this guy in my college class who was a friend of mine from high school. He's a year younger than I am, but we get along like PB and J. One day he asked me out of nowhere if I liked anybody on the swim team back in high school--I said ...
A. 30 January 2011: I like LucyLee's answer about having a card ready. If he doesn't bring you anything, do NOT give it to him. Let him make the first move. He knows that you had a crush on him in high school, so he knows there is possibly more interest on your part. ... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend but sometimes wonder what would it be like to have sex with a man?
Q. Hay folks, got a little problem and I hear you the people to answer it. Me and my girlfriend are great, we laugh, we have fun, we spend time together, we have sex. Its amazing. But every now and then I find myself wondering what it would b...
A. 30 January 2011: You can't really "shake off" your desire to have sex with a man any more than a straight guy could shake off a fantasy about a girl that isn't his girlfriend. You're just wondering what it would be like, you're not acting on it. Is this starting ... (read in full...)
Should I do something for him for Valentine's day, or will it just make me look desperate?
Q. Im 18 years old i went out with this guy for a bit over the summer i liked him a hell of a lot but he ended what we had just before we both went back to the same college, i still really really like him but im not sure if he still likes me because we ...
A. 25 January 2011: If he wanted to talk to you or be with you, he would do so. He is not making that effort. In my opinion, I wouldn't do anything for him for Valentine's Day. Save your money and keep your self-respect. ... (read in full...)
Is my baby disrespecting me or cheating?
Q. Hi I'm Alex I don't know if I'm being used or cheated on, or whats going on but something doesn't seem right and it's hurting me. Ok Ive known my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. We started out dating for a whole month and oddly enough tha...
A. 25 January 2011: Whatever you do, do not propose to this girl She is playing both you and the other guy. All of her behaviors point to this. This is not paranoia on your part.
You say that you "need" her. Ask yourself this, do you NEED to be treated with suc... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is nice to me when I give him money
Q. Dear Cupid My bf would be nice to me for few days if i lend him money. Then again he starts avoiding me. Will again be attentive when he needs money. I tried talking to him and he says he'll chnage but never did. He works and gets good pay ...
A. 25 January 2011: You wrote, "Please help me, i feel like being used." You feel that way because you ARE being used. Please, please, please get away from this guy. He wants your money and that is all. Do not give him any more money and write this off as an ... (read in full...)
Are we fixable?
Q. Hey everyone I hope someone has the time and heart to help me. I've looked for advice everywhere and never an answer no matter what website I've gone on. Here it goes: well i've been with my fiancé for 2 years now. We have a 4 month old daught...
A. 23 January 2011: Are both of you willing to go to counseling? If not, I don't think that this relationship can be fixed. There are big issues here that two teenagers cannot solve without help. I suggest both individual and couples counseling. If you're not ... (read in full...)
I feel guilty about masturbating
Q. I'm a 17 year old bisexual female. I started masturbating to porn about a year and a half ago and feel so much guilt about it. I'm very ashamed myself, I don't think any of my friends do this. Am I a monster? ...
A. 22 January 2011: You are NOT a monster. You are not doing anything to be ashamed of. Masturbation is normal, as is masturbating to pornography. I don't know who put this notion in your head, or where you learned that masturbation is so awful, but it's not. ... (read in full...)
Creative advice needed!
Q. I am in need of some help from those who are creative. I have an on going "battle" with my gf for doing little things for each other that are out of the ordinary. so I am looking for self made crafts or creative ways to tell her how im thinking. ...
A. 22 January 2011: You can get a blank jigsaw puzzle. (You can find them in craft stores.) On each piece draw a little picture of something that has meaning to both of you. If you can't draw, use pictures from magazines and glue them on. You can either give her all ... (read in full...)
I'm ashamed of what people would think if they knew I've never had a relationship. How can I interact more successfully with guys?
Q. I'm 17 years old, turning 18 and i never had a boyfriend. I never even went out on a date or kissed a guy. A lot of guys have asked me out especially these last few months, but i always said no beacause they're just not my type, apart from one guy. ...
A. 19 January 2011: Go on a date with the next guy who asks you! (Unless you know he's a COMPLETE jerk. Abusing drugs & alcohol, drunk driver, hits women, anything like that.) It seems like you're pre-judging these guys without getting to know them. Be open to the ... (read in full...)
Is oral sex ACTUAL sex? Is it still illegal if you are underage?
Q. is it illegal for an eighteen year old to go down on you when your fifteen because its not really sex its just oral you know or does oral sex count as real sex?...
A. 18 January 2011: I'm not going to get into the legality here. I'm not a lawyer and I believe that the age of consent differs from state to state. And it depends on the age of the partner.
Yes, oral sex is real sex. Sex is NOT JUST intercourse. If it involves... (read in full...)
Dating a month and he doesn't call me every day. Is this going nowhere?
Q. Help! I have been seeing this guy a little over a month and it is really going nowwhere. He dosent call me everyday and when he does the conversation is short. I tried to break up with him last week but he called and said he wanted to be with me. He ...
A. 18 January 2011: What are the conversations like when you're together? Do you talk to each other without uncomfortable gaps? Are you discussing a variety of things? I ask this because my husband was (and sometimes still is!) a horrible phone conversationalist. ... (read in full...)
Since my wife's breast implants she has changed
Q. I have been married for 4 years, she is 25 and i'm 29. My wife had always wanted to have breast implants, even though she was a nice B cup and had a great body which was toned and firm from going the gym. Anyway, she went ahead with the op in F...
A. 13 January 2011: Have you asked to go with her on a night out? Expressed interest (without sounding jealous) in meeting her friends and going out with them? Talked about having them over for an evening at your home? Have you invited her out with the friends that ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me and didn't use a condom with the other girl
Q. my fiance of 5yr cheated on me when i was 5month pregnant,i got to know my self after i gave birth,he confess after i ask him and apologise.but the worst part of it is he was sleeping with this girl in our apartment,and he did not use condom.he ...
A. 13 January 2011: You need to go to a clinic or doctor immediately and be checked for any sexually transmitted diseases that he may have given you. Do NOT wait.
Then, kick him out. He does not deserve you. You may love him, but he obviously does not love you... (read in full...)
Am I a bit weird for not particularly liking kids?
Q. This isn't a relationship question but i would be interested to hear what people think. Ever since i was about 13 (i'm now 23) i realised i wasn't the maternal type. People would show off their kids and these women would go all ga ga over them and...
A. 13 January 2011: No, you're not weird at all. I think it's good that you've realized this is true for yourself, at least for now. It might change, but if it doesn't, you're still not weird.
One word of advice: be VERY clear about not wanting children to any man ... (read in full...)
How to stop an inappropriate relationship...help!!!
Q. I have a friendship with a married man, I am married too, it is nothing physical. The relationship began thru work and has slowly developed over 3 years. It started out a casual text or a phone call just to chat and now is an everyday event. We are ...
A. 15 December 2010: It sounds to me like both of you are missing the emotional connection in your marriages. I will bet that both of you care about your spouses in a way that would sound more like good friends than anything romantic. After 10 years that can happen, ... (read in full...)
Advice on internet dating!
Q. Hi 32 yr old guy here. Not having much luck on Internet dating so it would be really great if any of you girls could give me an honest feedback on my profile as I’m not getting many replies Here’s how it reads Just a normal guy! Easy going,...
A. 15 December 2010: It reads like you are a pleasant, laid-back, fun guy. That's terrific! I only have two suggestions:
1. Add something humorous if you can come up with something that's also genuine. Showing a good sense of humor will help you get more replies.... (read in full...)
He took my number but did not text me, what does this mean?
Q. when a guy takes a girls number and doesn't text first what does this mean?? a guy took my number at the weekend and we were kind of texting the next morning however i was the first to text him.. how long would i wait before texting him agai...
A. 14 December 2010: Do NOT text him. Especially since you sent him the first text. If he wants to get in touch with you he has your number. Let him. And if he doesn't, let it go and move on to the next person.... (read in full...)
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