A
male
age
41-50,
*r Baz
writes:I have been married for 4 years, she is 25 and i'm 29. My wife had always wanted to have breast implants, even though she was a nice B cup and had a great body which was toned and firm from going the gym.Anyway, she went ahead with the op in February last year, going up to a large DD cup. Once she recovered i noticed an instant boost in her confidence and thats the when the problems began for me.The way she dressed changed and she began wearing clothes to show off her new assets. She started going out with her female work mates every weekend to clubs, wearing sexy outfits.She met a new circle of friends from going out, a group of affluent good looking girls and guys and i have just seen less and less of her in our spare time. Since meeting this group she has hit the gym even harder and has become even more toned. The outfits she wears when going out with them leave nothing to the imagination.I have heard from friends that she is very well known in the clubs / bars and walks into the VIP rooms freely.I'm at my wits end. I've spoke to her and she has told me im just jealous and she loves her own space.
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male
reader, Mr Baz +, writes (1 March 2011):
Mr Baz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Angel,
I agree completely, people do change unfortunately. You are also right in thinking we had known each other for a long time.
She clearly knows the path she wants to go down in her life, and in that sense its hard to criticise her. Good luck to her. The porn industry isnt everyone's idea of a career, however each to there own and there's no doubt that alot of money can made from it.
The divorce papers from her have come through. It shouldnt be messy or drawn out. I acutally spoke to her last night on the phone, just about the process nothing else, and she seems so blissfully happy with her new man that it should at least get sorted quickly.
Thanks for the responses x x
A
male
reader, Mr Baz +, writes (1 March 2011):
Mr Baz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Angel,
I agree completely, people do change unfortunately. You are also right in thinking we had known each other for a long time.
She clearly knows the path she wants to go down in her life, and in that sense its hard to criticise her. Good luck to her. The porn industry isnt everyone's idea of a career, however each to there own and there's no doubt that alot of money can made from it.
The divorce papers from her have come through. It shouldnt be messy or drawn out. I acutally spoke to her last night on the phone, just about the process nothing else, and she seems so blissfully happy with her new man that it should at least get sorted quickly.
Thanks for the responses x x
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (28 February 2011):
 oh Mr Baz :( without meaning to sound awful - you are better off out of this situation, i hope you will realise this soon. people change, and not always for the better. you must have met when you were very young, kids even? and this now is the adult that she has grown into.you can hold your head up high and know you did your best for her. she has not left you because you were not a good enough husband it is just like you say - had her head turned with all this porn nonsense, and if that is the path that someone wants to take you cannot really do anything about itxx
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A
male
reader, Mr Baz +, writes (28 February 2011):
Mr Baz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi angelDlite,
Thanks for your lovely post. I'm not surprised, no. I had a feeling once she had moved out that she would move on quickly and when i saw her get out of the cab outside the club with that guy i knew she was now with someone else. The person she was had gone and the big boobs and attention she now had turned her head unfortunately.
Speaking to her friend, i have heard she is completely wrapped up with her new fella and he was someone she had known for several months and they had been sexually attracted from the first time they had met. She has made it clear to her friends that she wants to be a porn queen and will very soon be doing her first free movies on the internet.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (23 February 2011):
hi again
i am sorry to hear this, it has come as no surprise to you though has it? this marriage could never have continued to work because she is so different from the girl you met, fell in love with and married. if she had been like this back in the day i don't suppose you would have even given her a chance with you.
there is nothing i can say except you will get over this, honestly you will. one day you will meet a woman who is right for you, who doesn't have all these big ideas for herself, and one day your wife may come to realise what she threw away.
look after yourself physically and be kind to yourself mentally, let your friends and family be there for you. see this as a fresh start for yourself to, into a life where you are free from the insecurity that she made you feel
xx
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A
male
reader, Mr Baz +, writes (23 February 2011):
Mr Baz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi there,
Just wanted to give an update on my situation. She moved out of the house as i mentioned back in January and i heard very little from her for two weeks or so.
I heard from a friend that she had gone ahead with the porfolio of nude and topless shots.
I (sadly maybe) waited outside of a club to try and catch a glimpse of her late one saturday night and watched her get out of a cab with a guy and then they walked into the club hand in hand.
I finally spoke to her last week properly and asked her where she was staying, and she went very quiet for along time before telling me she was staying with a guy who was an agent in the porn and glamour industries and had become her agent.
I asked her what her relationship to him was and could she elaborate on 'staying with him', and she told me she was with him and i needed to move on because divorce papers were being sent to me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2011): No. You want first to get a proof of her unfaithfullness. She is going to rip you off your money.
The scenario is the following: She was ok with marrying you because you provided her emotional stability, material security in an unfair world and reinsurance about her poor self-image. She probably first even admired and respected you when she met you. She got accustomed to your love, you made her feel worth and gave her unconditional reinforcement of her self-esteem. Which is a good action, that should be earned, not given unconditionally. Because too-nice guys get no respect. Must be like daddy, with the carrot AND the stick.
Now, giving her the means to do the boobs jobs, she has her sex power in hands again. She is armed to make her way in that unfair world that scared her so much. Fantasy opened up into rreality. Just imagine tomorrow you become a rock-star, girls jump on you, while ur gf is moaning she cant have those time with you to tell you boring stories about her boring life. You may pitty her for a while but there is no future for such a relationship. period.
The realization you are on the way to divorce is a good thing. she could have used you and destoyed you slowly and viciously break everything in your life. It is amazing how women can handle different worlds hermetically insulated from one another: I have been the lover of a married woman for 4 years, from what I can feel, she still is a compassionate, loving carrying and sweet wife for her husband. Now at least you are able to build a plan of action.
As people here have hinted about the VIP section blablabla. The point is: YOU ARE TRAVELING FOR WORK ONE WEEK? (WEEK in bold) How are you able to satisfy her on a sexual level? On a purely biological level, in my experience, a woman needs it between twice a day and every 2 days. She could wait for you by a concious effort (leading to frustration) but that would imply she's in love with you. Like really in love. Which it does not look like it is the case because SHE PAYS NO ATTENTION TO YOUR EMOTIONS. I don't know the emotional history of your relationship with her but it seems clear she has lost interest for your emotions and your satifaction is not her priority in life.
For all those results you should take all your emotions about her (good or bad) out of your heart and stick them into a black box inside your head, take the golden key of that chest and put it into another smaller box, protected by a code, and close them until she asks you to come back, possibly crying. You must draw a plan of action to get back into the run, to get pack to the point where you inspire her (and other girls btw)
- Respect
- Admiration
- Emotion
- Desire
Long-term you want to be more assertive, stronger mentally, spiritually and physically:
- Mentally: stop thinking with your emotions except with someone you can trust. Right now, it is bad ideas.
- Spiritually: Put an end to your vices. She knows all your small nasty little habbits that make the married partner less attractive than someone new (whom she doen't know the deffects yet). Just be a straight man, strong, not weak, give attention to justice arround you. make good deeds with humility, be more human, stop thinking with your dick (YOU liked the idea of those fake breasts in the first place didn't you? what goes arond comes arround)
- Physically: Shave, tan, go to gym, stop TV, be in control sexually. Get some books by david shades.
But Right now first and foremost you want to avoid the total wreckage of your life. That is to be ripped off by her and her new lovers gang from the mafia. Get ur salary on your personal account, get a lawyer, get her followed. Actually, do it in the following order: Get her followed first while still acting naive and emotional as if u were giving her a chance. As soon as u've got the proof, u can go legal. And change all your acces codes.
You are going trough a storm go prepared mentally.
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A
male
reader, Mr Baz +, writes (17 January 2011):
Mr Baz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to all the people on here that gave me your time to post your thoughts.
I sat and waited for my wife last night and when she came back from the gym i had a long talk with her.
She admitted the boob job gave her confidence she never thought she would have, and was open and honest with me and told me she does love the attention she has got over the past few months and has become very flirtatious with guys and thats why she can walk straight into the VIP rooms of places.
i touched upon the glamour modelling, and she confirmed she would like to give it a go and has met guys who are agents to models and escorts in bars and clubs that have offered to represent her.
we have decided that the relationship cannot go on like it is, however as she does not want to change the person she has become she is going to move out on Wednesday and we are going to have a trial seperation.
I use the word trial, but i think it will permanent, as i was the only one showing emotion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): Unfortunately, this girl sounds very fake. She is flautning her fake boobs everywhere. They are fill of silicone. She must be very insecure about herself. I would not want to be friends with a fake girl like her..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): I've been in the same relationship since i was 16, i'm now nearly 21. If it's anything to go by, she was very young when you first got married and now with her new confidence feels the need to be recognised. Sometimes i wonder what it would be like being single and free and i feel like i need some more space from my other half but i always come home to him. It was definately difficult my boyfriend when i started to find myself. I was a very shy girl, i wasn't a particularly pretty girl at school. Since then things have changed, I was offered an underwear modelling contract (which i chose not to take) and i became more of my own women, found my direction in life and suddenly was aware that men were attracted to me. For a time i loved the attention, walking in to bars and men really noticing me. It took me a while to realise, that while all thats very well and good, my partner was who i really wanted to be with, especially when we broke up for 2 months. I realised being 'pretty' wasn't everything and having a someone to share my life with meant far more to me than another man checking me out at a bar. But it did take losing him for a while for me to realise where i wanted to be. Since then our relationship has been fantastic, i was able to live a little on the wild side when he left me, as was he, so the breather gave us both a fresh outlook. Since then i fell pregnant, and although i lost the child, it's brought us much closer and we've become much more appreciative of one another. It may take losing you for her to realise where she wants to be, you are both in different places in your lifes at the moment perhaps. If you've tried to explain to her your feelings, maybe take some time out of your own. Ask her if she'd mind you going out with the lads and flirting with other women. It's just a suggestion mind you. I hope everything works out for you two.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): It's time to bail and this is not something i say lightly. You married too young and for my tastes women who are not happy with what god gave them is a bid red flag.
She is not a welcome guest to the VIP areas of clubs because she is a shrinking violet.
her leaving you waiting outside while she parties inside would be enough for me. But i am not blinded by my love for her like you.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 Tell her you need a break, her constant showing off of her body parts to everyone is really something that you aren't comfortable with. You have to be strong here, the only thing that might snap her back to reality might be the thought of losing you.
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A
male
reader, Mr Baz +, writes (14 January 2011):
Mr Baz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again to the people you have spent their time replying.
I am away with work this week, however i spoke to her on the phone last night and expressed my concerns with things, and told her that the one time i asked to meet her and her friends out she spent the whole of the evening in an area of the club i had no access to.
She told me last night she is getting a portfolio of topless shots done and would like to do glamour modelling. Really didnt know what to say to that.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (14 January 2011):
I smell something fishy
And I suggest that keep an eye on her until you are 100% sure of her faithfulness
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (14 January 2011):
hi
quick question: would you have chosen to marry a surgically enhanced woman who wants to hit the clubs every weekend, barely dressed and being 'in' with the bouncers? so rather than think of it in terms of 'is there a place in her life anymore for you?', is there really a place in YOUR life for HER?
in her defence; she is only doing what most women her age are doing, BUT they are not married. married to a man who is majorly uncomfortable with the situation.
talk to her. i think its fair enough to ask for a compromise on this and if she cares as much about the marriage as you do, she will meet you halfway on.
yes you got married very young and i know that some young couples can prove the doubters wrong, i hope that your wife can pull this back and get your marriage back to a good state again, prepare yourself that she may not want to though
xx
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A
female
reader, LizBeth +, writes (13 January 2011):
Have you asked to go with her on a night out? Expressed interest (without sounding jealous) in meeting her friends and going out with them? Talked about having them over for an evening at your home? Have you invited her out with the friends that you both had before she had her surgery? Let her know that you would love to spend more time with her and want to know how to make that happen. You're married for heaven's sake, going out with you is not removing her space. If she doesn't want to go out with you, something else is happening. How much attention did she receive before the breast augmentation? It sounds like she has become intoxicated by the fun and attention. It sounds like this has been going on for about a year, which is too long in my very humble opinion. Talk to her, let her know you miss her. If she insists on continuing with her new lifestyle, you need to work out what happens next.
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A
male
reader, Mr Baz +, writes (13 January 2011):
Mr Baz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the responses so far.
I asked if i could meet her at a club she was going to in December. i was in my car in the car park opposite the front of the club and i saw her get out of a cab with her friend and walk right past the big queue and when the doorman saw her he kissed her on the cheek and let her straight in.
I queued with the rest of the paying public and asked the doorman who the big boobed blonde was who had gone in earlier and he said my wife's name and told me she was a vip and was an absolute babe.
In the club i saw her flittingly, she spent most of the night in the club owners private area past the vip bit and the bouncers would not let anybody through without wrist bands.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): It doesn't sound promising for you i'm afraid to say. You're wife's surgically enhanced chest has given her the attention i think she has always craved and by the sounds of it she loves it and wants it more and more.
Whether she is cheating on you or not is up for debate. Have you heard she is?
It sounds like the life she now leads is the life she wants, and it doesnt include you.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (13 January 2011):
Sounds like she wants to be single again, perhaps you should approach her with that and see how she reacts. DD? That would kill my back. Ouch.
Anyway, does she know that as a married woman what she is doing is not appropriate? Does she invite you to go with her to these "outings"?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): I suppose she is enjoying her new figure to the full. As long as that all it is, the novelty will wear off in time. Going out to clubs a lot without you could prove a problem though. She is young and wants to enjoy life but you need to be in the picture too or you could drift apart. There are a few warning signs here. The best you can do is try to involve yourself in her social life too. If clubbing is not for you, you need to make sure you make enough time for each other. A good heart to heart seems in order.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2011): She was only 21 when she got married, she is now enjoying herself when really she should have done this when she was younger. Of course she is still young now but she is married and she made that choice. You better just sit her down and have a talk with her before she does something to risk your relationship.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Sounds like she got married too early in life (21) and is now wanting to sow her wild oats. A married woman shouldn't be acting like this...a night out with the girls is one thing, but constantly every weekend??
I fear you are getting left behind. One thing you might want to do is go out on your own and have some fun with your friends. However, if you are hearing about her cheating on you, it's over.
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